Author, memoir coach, and founder of The Write Place Right Time, Ally Berthiaume shares her journey from aspiring psychologist to helping people tell their life stories through books. In this episode, we talk about divorce, single motherhood, entrepreneurship, and why the courage to pivot is often the key to building a life that truly fits.
Check Out These Highlights:
What do you do when the path you've carefully planned no longer feels like the one you're meant to follow?
In this episode, Ally Berthiaume shares how her lifelong love of writing kept calling her back, even as she explored careers in psychology, forensic work, and mental health. Although she was fascinated by understanding people and human behavior, she realized that writing was the thing that truly lit her up, and ultimately built a business around helping others tell their stories through memoir, editing, and book coaching.
Toby and Ally talk about navigating entrepreneurship as a single mom, raising a son who already sees his mother as both an author and a business owner, and the beautiful full-circle moment of publishing her first memoir when her son was the same age she had been when she first dreamed of becoming a writer. They also explore the realities of building a business that evolves over time and why flexibility has become one of Ally's greatest measures of success.
Ally opens up about the difficult seasons that made her question entrepreneurship, the freedom that keeps her committed to it, and the importance of supporting both family and community while creating a life on her own terms. Her advice for aspiring entrepreneurs is refreshingly honest: try things, gather data, embrace pivots, and trust that where you begin doesn't have to be where you end up.
This conversation is a powerful reminder that the work we're meant to do often leaves clues throughout our lives, and that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is follow what continues to call us forward.
About Ally Berthiaume:
Ally Berthiaume is an author, memoir coach, editor, and the founder of The Write Place Right Time. She helps aspiring authors transform their stories into meaningful books while empowering them to embrace the natural evolution of both their writing journeys and their lives.
Connect with Ally:
🌐 Website: http://thewriteplacerighttime.com/
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ayberthiaume/
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ayberthiaume/
📹Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thewriteplacerighttime
🎁 Free Resource: My free 30-minute call (Story Stroll) https://bit.ly/3HPIQkK
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My guest today is Ally Berthiaume, memoir coach, award-winning author, and founder of The Write Place, Right Time. In this conversation, Ally shares how a season of profound loss, including a miscarriage, divorce, and the loss of a long-promised promotion, became the unexpected beginning of the life and business she has today. We talk about what it means to surrender when none of your plans are working, trusting the voice inside, and why the stories we live through often become the stories we're meant to write. We also explore memoir as a path to healing, the courage it takes to choose an unconventional life, and why the book someone is afraid to write is often the one the world needs the most.
Toby Myles: Hey, Ally. Welcome to the podcast.
Ally Berthiaume: Thanks so much for having me, Toby. I'm excited.
Toby Myles: I'm excited for this. So you... We met recently. I usually share how we know each other. We met recently, um, and really s- only kinda knew each other, I think, through, um, LinkedIn from connecting over there. And, um, I was just so excited to hear about your work for one thing, because, um, I think, like we talked about, I'm in the early stages of writing a memoir, and I'm not gonna s- I'm not gonna tell your story.
I'll let you do that. But, um, it was just... It was, it was like serendipity. It was one of those, like, timing things, like, wow, I'm fascinated by this because I'm in the middle of this right now. And, um, I knew pretty quickly that I wanted to have you on the show, so I appreciate you, um, joining me today. Um, I think this is gonna be a really great conversation.
So I would love for you to take me back to, um, either, like, a single moment in time, or maybe it was, like, um, a few moments around a particul- particular time that you feel like really put you on the path that you're on right now.
Ally Berthiaume: So I think what I'll do is I'll give you, like, a, a prologue.
Toby Myles: Okay, good.
Ally Berthiaume: So here's, here's the prologue, right?
Um, it's 1990. I'm five. I'm in kindergarten, and I'm given a black-and-white composition notebook, one of the ones where the sheets on the inside have a place for an illustration at the top- Mm-hmm ... and lines on the bottom for you to practice- Oh, yes ... your letters and your penmanship, right? Yep, yep. With the double line, the, with the dotted line in the middle.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, and that was the first time that I fell in love with writing and telling stories. And so around the time that I was five, I knew, like, in my soul that I was meant to do something with books. Um, and for a while, that meant my own books with my name on the cover and, you know, thoughts of grandeur, you know?
Um, you know, bestsellers-
Toby Myles: Right. ...
Ally Berthiaume: you know, multiple copies and whatever. Um, and so that's really kinda like the prologue to my story, and if we were then to map it out, there would be all these chapters in between about kind of the winding journey, if you would, um, to try to follow that pursuit.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: But eventually we get to 2017, and I'm recently a mom.
I've got a son who's barely two. And I'm pregnant for the second time, and I miscarry at nine weeks.
Toby Myles: Oh, wow.
Ally Berthiaume: And around that time, there was also this kind of knowledge that things in my married life were not the way that I would've liked them to be. Mm-hmm. Everything looked really good from the outside. I like to say that I, I almost had the American dream.
Like, I had- ... the house and the dog, and I had a fence, but it wasn't white.
Toby Myles: Oh.
Ally Berthiaume: And, um, and I was married and had a job, and he had a job, and we had this beautiful, healthy, uh, toddler. And, you know, by all viewpoints it looked like it was, it was fine.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, but I really didn't feel fine. I felt like I wasn't living up to my fullest potential, my highest calling.
There was something about becoming a mom for me that was like eye-opening. I wanted my son to be able to grow up to be the best possible version of himself, and for him to feel authentic in whoever he was- Mm-hmm ... and to step into whatever he dreamt for himself. And in wanting that for himself, I realized I wasn't really modeling that-
Toby Myles: Mm
for him. Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: And I, I... it was just, like, one of those things where once there's, like, cracks in the foundation of something-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Ally Berthiaume: I can't ignore the cracks. And- Yep ... I wasn't really sure that I could repair the cracks. Um, and so that was happening alongside that grief of that second, that second pregnancy, and eventually I found myself separating from my husband, and moving out and back in with my parents into my childhood bedroom, which no longer looked at all like the childhood bedroom that I had had, but it was the very place where I first filled countless journals with stories, where I dreamt of becoming a writer.
So it was this kind of weird homecoming kind of- Mm-hmm ... situation.
Toby Myles: Yep.
Ally Berthiaume: I was still working in this day job. Um, and I call it a day job because there wasn't anything about it that truly inspired me. It-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Ally Berthiaume: was, it was a paycheck.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: I was decent at it. I was the administrative assistant for a tech company.
I could do the job with my eyes closed and my hands folded behind my back. There just wasn't anything particularly challenging to me about that role, and that's not knocking the wonderful administrative assistants that are holding up most companies. Yes. Shout out to them. Mm-hmm. I know what goes into. Um, but for me, that had gone all the way to get a Master's of Fine Arts in that winding journey, um, you know, between 1990 and 2017.
I was just felt like I was, like, wasting that degree- Mm-hmm ... and that effort, and I was, like, just kind of feeling soulless in this particular job. But at that point, it was the one remaining stable thing that I still had. Right.
Toby Myles: Yeah, exactly.
Ally Berthiaume: So, um, I was like, "All right. I gotta make this work," you know? Mm-hmm.
I'm now a single earner. I'm on my own. I've got this two-year-old son that's looking up to me. Um, thankfully, you know, his conscious awareness of that time is, is small. Right? Yeah. Um, but you know, there was a lot of pressure to try to figure this out, you know?
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: This is not what I thought adulting was going to look like at, at, you know, my early 30s.
And I was promised a promotion, and I remember it was the last thing standing, and I got pulled into my boss's office, and he tells me that I'm no longer gonna get the promotion. I've lost the trust of the leadership, but doesn't give me a reason why.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: And that they're going to hire externally for the position that I was promised.
And not only will they hire externally, but because I'm the administrative assistant and I sit at the front desk, I will be escorting all of the candidates-
Toby Myles: Oh my gosh. Wow. That's a- what do they say, adding insult to injury?
Ally Berthiaume: Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and it, it did actually end up getting worse because then they also moved my supervisory person to somebody else in the company that there was a known kind of like toxicity between us, and that's who they made my new supervisor.
Yeah. Um, and so I'm pretty sure what they wanted me to do was just up and quit so they- Right ... wouldn't have to fire me.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, and they didn't have to pay me unemployment. Uh, but I dug my heels in, and I was like, "That ain't happening." Mm-hmm. Like, I've got a son, and I need a paycheck. And so regardless of whatever you do to me, like I gotta stay here until I figure out what's next.
Toby Myles: Right.
Ally Berthiaume: And it was kind of in that moment where it was like house down, marriage down, Second child down, job down. I was just like, you know, all the things were, were kind of just laying around, and I was the only thing left. And it was like, all right, well, okay. You know, floating around a little bit trying to get my bearings.
And it was just this moment of surrender, and I don't really remember it being like... I don't remember where I was standing, I don't remember, um, what was happening around me. I just remember in my mind kind of doing like a, "I give up."
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm
Ally Berthiaume: uh, whatever you think. Like, because I thought that I had done all the things I was supposed to do.
You know, marriage, check. House, check. Job, check. Degree, check. Parenthood- Yeah ... check. And none of those things had led me down anything other than where I was right now, which was with everything kind of up for grabs. And it was somewhere in that moment of surrender, that silent prayer, kind of like just an internal kind of, "I give up.
I'm not gonna try to control the path or direction or avenue at this point because- Mm-hmm ... nothing has happened that I've ever expected."
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: That it was like the right books, the right podcasts, the right people all kind of entered into my life, and they were all pointing towards starting my own business and going out on my own.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Which felt really crazy.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Because I'm now single parenting. I need an income. I have a- Yeah ... two-year-old. This can't possibly be the direction I should be going in. This feels not safe, not stable.
Toby Myles: Right.
Ally Berthiaume: Not secure. But at the same time, nothing proved to be stable or safe- Mm-hmm ... or secure. All those things- Yeah
had just proven that there is no guarantee on anything. Right. And so I figured, well, I guess if there's nothing left to do but to leap, then you leap.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: And you can always go back to a job. You can always go back to a nine-to-five, right? That was kind of like, you can always go back, but what if instead you try to pursue this thing, um, and make something happen?
And so in that beginning stages, really what it looked like was copywriting and content writing.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: It was writing for other people, and I just said yes to any project I could say yes to-
Toby Myles: Right ...
Ally Berthiaume: um, to make a little bit of money. But that is where my entrepreneurial journey kind of stemmed from, like, you know, I like to say the ashes of my former life.
Like a phoenix.
Toby Myles: Like
Ally Berthiaume: my, my business became a phoenix, and that's what, that's what came out of all that rubble.
Toby Myles: It's, it's just fascinating to me because I've, th- um, this podcast, I've been doing this podcast for more than a year now, and I just, one of the things that keeps me going and excited about it is that everybody's story is so different.
A- and yet, it takes a certain amount of, um, trust and faith in yourself that you're gonna figure it out, even if wherever you start is not where you end up, right? If things change and morph. 'Cause I think we talked about this a little bit, too, w- on our last call, that when I also started my copywriting business, which I still do some copywriting now, but that's not really the bulk of my business.
Like, I was writing any and everything. I said yes to everything because I thought that's what you do when you start a business. You just, you know, you never say no because you never know when there's gonna be the next, um, job. So how did you, um- Uh, what did that look like and, and then what were the next steps to really, like, doing the work that you're doing now?
And I'm not gonna... Again, I'm gonna let you share that part of the story, but we touched on it a little bit, um, when we talked about, um, memoir writing.
Ally Berthiaume: Yeah. So interestingly enough, so I mentioned how, like, all the right books and, and podcasts and people kind of, like, converged, like, in my journey. And so I happened to also be at that time getting back into my own writing.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Right? Finally I had some space to decide that I could prioritize a little bit of my own creativity.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: And it was one of the things that kind of kept me, um, buoyed, buoyed? B- I always have a hard time with that word, but, like, kind of, like, balanced on the days I didn't have my son, 'cause we were a split custody, and it was really hard not having him at two.
Yeah. You know, half of the week, you know? Yeah. Um, I had carried him all that time, and then I'd been with him- Mm-hmm ... every day of his life, you know? And then all of a sudden, poof, he's not with me for half of, half of the time. Yeah. But I was like, "All right, I gotta channel some of this kind of grief and, um, transition angst and discomfort into things that fill my cup and make me feel whole again- Mm-hmm
and productive." And, and so I turned to my writing, which- Yeah ... felt like a very natural way to turn. And so I was working on a piece with a writing coach who had just gone out on her own a couple of years prior to do the thing that I'm basically doing now. Mm-hmm. And so she was like a wicked inspiration to me.
But she said to me, "You know, with all of your different skills," and she knew me from an organization that we were both affiliated with. She was like, "With all of your different skills," she was like, "You'd be a great virtual assistant." And I said, "Well, I don't even know what that means. Like, what's a virtual assistant?"
Um, and she was like, "Well, basically it's like somebody who can perform administrative work for other people who are running businesses and things like that." I can't say that I was really loving that idea out of the gate- Mm-hmm ... because I felt like that's where I'd just come from, and that hadn't really lit me up.
Yeah. Um, but I trusted her, and I was open to any possibility at that point of working for myself and having some flexibility, and so I was like, "Why not?"
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: So she introduced me to somebody that she knew who trained women to become virtual assistants and run businesses from their homes.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: So I looked her up, I got connected, I signed up for some free call or whatever, um, got on it with her.
And she had done a little vetting and, and checking on me, you know, before she got on the call, and she said, "Did you know that you can make an entire business just off of writing for other people?" Now, Toby, this should not have been a mind-blowing- ... concept by somebody who went all the way to get her master's of fine arts.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: But nobody had ever said that to me. Mm-hmm. Nobody had ever put it that plainly. When I was getting my master's of fine arts, they were basically like, "Here are your options. You can be an adjunct professor and make no money. You can work for a literary journal and still make no money." "You can be a freelance writer, and you can make no money."
Toby Myles: Yeah. Like,
Ally Berthiaume: those were the options.
Toby Myles: Right.
Ally Berthiaume: Nobody was thinking outside the box. Nobody was saying that because you've gone all the way to, like, be a really good writer, that you can figure out how to translate that to all of the things in the world that require writing.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Especially in the digital age.
Yeah. I'm like, the list is endless.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Nobody ever said that, right? Because we were in fine arts world-
Toby Myles: Right, right ...
Ally Berthiaume: where-
Toby Myles: Starving artists ...
Ally Berthiaume: starving artist tropes were, like, still ruling the day.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: And so she says this to me, and I'm like, "What?" Mm-hmm. Like, the skies have parted. The sun has beat down-
upon my face. And I'm like, "Tell me more."
Toby Myles: Uh-huh. Like,
Ally Berthiaume: what does that look like? And so she explained all the different things that I could do with writing that I could charge for, and she was like, "And you wouldn't even have to start at, like, the lower end of VA rates because you could already specialize 'cause you have a master's in it."
And my, m- I, I literally was just like my prayers have been answered.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: God has sent a messenger from above.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, so I knew then in my gut, like this was the next step. So I signed up for her program to learn whatever I could about setting up my own business. I prepared a pitch to my parents. Okay, look, I'm in my 30s-
but I was still like, "They're gonna think I've lost my mind." That all of this looks like- Oh, yes. ... crazy, right? Yep. And you've got a two-year-old. What are you even thinking about- Right ... doing with our grandchild? You know? And, um, and I was like, "I gotta make sure that they see, like where I'm going with this-
Toby Myles: Yeah
Ally Berthiaume: before they really do think..." And maybe I was doing it for myself too, like even I was thinking I might have lost my mind a little bit.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, so I took money that I got from the proceeds of the house sale and invested in this program-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Ally Berthiaume: um, to get myself started. And so I worked diligently between my nine to five and this new business I started.
And so lunch breaks, evenings, heck, even during the workday, because they had paired back my responsibilities so much, I didn't have enough to fill my days with. Yeah. Yeah. I was working on my business while I was at my job-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Ally Berthiaume: collecting a paycheck.
Toby Myles: Yep.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, which felt icky at first, because I'm a person of integrity.
But eventually I was like, "Well, you've made it very clear."
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: So-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Ally Berthiaume: um, I worked really hard to save up two months of living expenses, and then I walked out.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: A wing and a prayer, two months living expenses and said, "Well, I'm either gonna make it or I'm not."
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, but that was 2018, I guess, is when I...
Or 2019, one of those years. I forget. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 2019, I guess. April 2019, I officially went in all in, um, full-time in my business, and I've been here since. So-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Ally Berthiaume: it hasn't, I haven't, I haven't broken yet.
Toby Myles: Yeah. It's, it's so funny because I... Well, first of all, you were talking, um, we'll rewind a little bit, um, where you were talking about moving back in with your parents, 'cause I did the same thing.
My kids were older. I was older. But the very same thing, like moving back into my childhood bedroom, and split custom, custody with my ex-husband, so they with, were with me for a week, with him for a week, and I just remember being in my childhood bedroom, which actually looked very similar. There was different furniture in there, but it had never been repainted.
It was still pink. I had at one time shared that room with my older sister. And I remember, like- And, you know, having insomnia one night and just laying there, I'm like, "How did I get here? I am 40 years old and I am back in my childhood bedroom. The only thing I brought with me was a mattress and my clothes.
I have nothing to my, my name. I have my kids here," obviously that was, like, a big deal, right? But everything... I was like, "How did I even get here?" And then, you know, the relatable piece is that, I mean, my parents never once, you know, questioned anything about... You know, they knew that this had been brewing for a while and that I just, I had to get out, and the day that I said I have to get out, my mom was like, "We'll clean out the room.
You can stay with us till you figure it out." But I can remember so clearly, like, still at that age, wanting their approval. I'm like, "What is this? At 40- What is this? ... why do I need my parents' approval?"
Ally Berthiaume: I know. I, I remember, you know, I had also very supportive parents when I told them that, like, this is what I was gonna do.
Mm-hmm. And I, I wasn't gonna stay. And I was a little bit worried about that, you know? Um, grew up Catholic, you know, um, and divorce is- it was still frowned upon. I still feel like culturally, even though so many marriages end in divorce, we still have kind of this collective kind of like, "Oh my gosh"- Yeah ... uh, response, which I think is just crazy to me-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm
Ally Berthiaume: um, now. But I f- remember feeling that sense of failure then. And they were very gracious and very understanding and super supportive, um, about the divorce itself. But for me when it came to, like, putting together the, like, the presentation about my business- ... um, they were supportive of my writing when I was a lot younger.
As I got older and I got more serious about actually pursuing that, their fear took over, and they were, a lot of the time, trying to encourage me to pursue other things.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: And make writing the side hustle.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: And I really took that to heart. And so in undergrad I also got a psychology degree.
When I went to do my master's, I predominantly focused on psychology programs. I even actually started a master's in marriage and family therapy.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: I did about a year, and I always said that that's, like, ironic as somebody who ended up divorced just a number of years later. But, um, I did about a year in that program and I was miserable.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: And so I switched. Um, and I remember when I called home to tell them that I was switching my master's program, I remember the long pause after I said what I needed to say where my dad was like- And what are you going to do with that- ... degree? Like, he was still calculating in his head, how are you going to pay your bills?
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: How are you going to remain functional in society- Right ... as an adult?
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Like, what does this masters of fine arts actually equate to? And s- and I remember saying to him at that point, I said, "I don't know yet, but I know that I won't fail."
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: And I was, like, so sure of it then.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: But then 32, proving everything else hadn't really worked out the way that I thought, you know?
Mm-hmm. And still having those, like, inner voices From, from parents and other adults, you know, not just them, kind of like doubtful of like what it meant to have a career in writing. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I felt like I really have to show them the value. I have to show them the numbers. I have to show them how this could actually work.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, and even now there's still like that... One of the very first questions, you know, when I catch up with them on the phone or I see them in person is, "How's business?"
Toby Myles: Yeah. And
Ally Berthiaume: I know, right, what they really wanna know is like, "You're making enough money-
Toby Myles: Right ...
Ally Berthiaume: to keep going?"
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Admittedly, these last couple of years have been a little, a little tight, a little thin.
Mm-hmm. You know, as the economy has done different things, as AI has taken over the industry, as things have needed to shift and pivot, as my personal life has had things happening in it that have, have taken my time and attention away, any number, any number of things.
Toby Myles: Right.
Ally Berthiaume: That, um, and so I always cringe a little bit when I get that, like, "How's business?"
Yeah. Because I'm like, I know it's still coming from that place of fear- Mm-hmm ... but it also then triggers my childhood response to want to prove that this is still a viable option- Yeah. Yeah ... and it's still okay to pursue.
Toby Myles: Yeah, yeah. It's funny because I, my parents are no longer living, but, um, but other family members from time to time, especially ones I haven't seen in a while, we get together, "So how's business?"
You know? And it's the same. It's like sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not, but it always just feels a little, I don't know, invasive, right? Like, are you asking me because you expected me to fail? Are you asking me 'cause you genuinely are cheering me on? Are you asking me because you think like I should just give it all up and go get a job?
Which is- Yeah ... not, not an option for me. But, um, but I just, I always find that just a tiny little bit triggering when people ask that question.
Ally Berthiaume: Yeah. I also am like, maybe, maybe they don't know enough about my life outside of running my business that they don't know what else to ask.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Like,
Ally Berthiaume: you know, they know to ask about my son.
Yeah. He's a kid, right? Um, they know to ask about my husband 'cause he's my spouse. Yeah. Now they're married. Um, and they'll ask about the house. Like, maybe it's just that like I'm not necessarily going out of my way to always share, like, the book that I'm reading or the TV show that I'm watching or the fact- Yeah
that I meditate and walk in the mornings. I don't know. Or that I have a bowl of crystals on my desk- ... and I'm really woo now in my... You know? I don't know. Like, maybe it's just a safe question or they think it's- Yeah ... a safe question and don't realize that it, like, brings up a lot of like, ugh.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah.
Exactly. For me. Yeah. And also too, like, like we're in it. You're in it. I'm in it. And we know, like, that is part of business. Like, sometimes things are not going great, right? And I mean, I have had other businesses before, so I'm used to the, a certain amount of ebb and flow. Um, I know how that goes, and I have a pretty high, um, tolerance for it because I know that it's, you know, things cycle and, um, and that you just- Keep doing the things that you know you're supposed to be doing, and that there are gonna be good times and bad times.
But I don't know that people, other people who have never owned a business fully understand that, and their first response might be, "Well, if things aren't going well, then w- what are you gonna do," right? And it, for me at least, it's like, "Well, I'm, I'm doing this. Like, this is what I'm doing."
Ally Berthiaume: Yeah, I do think that there is that, um, a very different mindset between the people who have always had a 9:00 to 5:00 corporate, you know, traditional whatever kind of job- Mm-hmm
and then those of us who are, like, living over here in the entrepreneurial space. I think those of us who've kind of been in both spaces have kind of some understanding for, for either avenue. But I have a lot of people in my life who don't know what it is to run a business, and so- Yeah ... just like to share those types of challenges.
I, like, it's like they get what I'm saying because they understand the words that are coming out of my mouth, but-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Ally Berthiaume: they don't actually know how it feels to be- Yeah ... you know, running a business, to ha- wear all the hats, to have all of the pressure.
Toby Myles: Um- Mm-hmm ...
Ally Berthiaume: and it's also ironic to me too, though, like, that at the same time they seem to only be thinking about all of the wonderful aspects of entrepreneurialship, right?
Toby Myles: Right.
Ally Berthiaume: All of those, like things, like, "Well, don't you get to take off whatever time you want?" And- Mm-hmm ... you know, um, or, like, the, the number of texts that I get during, like, working hours as if, like, I'm not doing anything over here. I can just be-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Ally Berthiaume: chatting with you- Yeah ... all day.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, because maybe you're off-
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: right now. Um, so it, yeah, it's really interesting. I, I feel like that's the same thing between, like, people who have had or parented children and people who have not. There's-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Ally Berthiaume: like, not quite, uh, the same understanding there- Yeah ... because the experience is so different.
Toby Myles: Yeah, for sure. So, um, were either of your parents entrepreneurs?
I mean, did you have any entrepreneurial role models in your life?
Ally Berthiaume: So my dad's dad, um, my paternal grandfather, so he came across the border. So I'm in Vermont. He came across the border around the eighth grade, I think, um, from Canada. He only had an eighth grade education. He's a self-made man. He had a farm at one point, then he had a construction company.
Um, and a lot of his siblings who ended up in Vermont and then in kind of spreading out into New England, um, were also kind of self-made people. Mm-hmm. So small business owners, ent- kind of entrepreneurial in spirit.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, but I don't think I really understood that about him, um, when he was alive for me to really be tapping into that and asking more questions.
Toby Myles: Yeah,
Ally Berthiaume: yeah. Uh, so by the time I was on this journey he was already gone.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, my dad had a very important role within a cooperative creamery in the, the county where I grew up. Oh,
Toby Myles: okay.
Ally Berthiaume: And so big into t- state agriculture, specifically dairy farms.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Big part of our kind of economy here in the state and, um, he ended up the general manager, uh, of the co-op.
Probably by the time I was five. I mean, like, majority of my life I remember him being the head and the face-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Ally Berthiaume: of the co-op.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: And so he had a very big role. He was often in the paper, he was often on the news, he was often at the State House. Like, y- you know, he was a man of reputation, he was a man of credibility and integrity, and he was very well-known.
Um, but and, you know, he basically had to respond to a board of directors, so it was a very s- kind of particular type of business and model and that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. And my mom spent several years working for c- Immigration and Customs, um, kind of looking at applications and writing up whether or not somebody should move forward or, um- Mm-hmm
and she did some other things here and there, but there wasn't really anybody immediate that was running their own business. I had- Yeah ... my aunt eventually go out on her own as a licensed mental health counselor. Um- Mm-hmm ... but kind of a different kind of- Yeah ... different thing, right? It's like a practice versus-
Toby Myles: Yes
Ally Berthiaume: service-based. I mean, she's providing a service, she's providing therapy, but um, there's a licensure there, there's an insurance piece there. It's just like- Yeah ... a very different kind of, kind of model.
Toby Myles: Yeah, very different. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, you talked a little bit about, um, you know, getting the writing bug when you were young, very young, um, and you knew, like, that's, you know, what you were gonna dedicate your life to, even though, you know, you did other things.
That's, that's life. That's how it goes. But what did that look like in your y- little girl mind? Like, what was that? Were you gonna, like, you know, write a book and be famous and go to bookstores and sign people's book? Like, was it, like, that whole kind of, like, fantasy? Oh,
Ally Berthiaume: yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, let's see.
Books turned into movies. Oh, yeah. We've all heard that before. Um, you know, I very much wanted, like, a title and my name to be, like, gold embossed- Yeah ... on the cover. Um, you know, front facing on the shelf at Barnes & Noble. Mm-hmm. You know?
Toby Myles: Y- it can still happen, Ally. I really-
Ally Berthiaume: Do not
Toby Myles: give up on your dreams.
Ally Berthiaume: Yeah.
I mean, I won't. I won't give up on it. But I mean, they were, like, true visions of grandeur.
Toby Myles: Yeah, yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: So, um, you know, putting out book after book, you know, series, you know- Mm-hmm ... James Patterson style. Mm-hmm. I mean, not, like, that genre, but, like- Yeah ... anybody that we think of, these, like, series authors.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Mm-hmm. And, you know, making money.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: I mean, why not? Like- Exactly ... there's other things. Like, you should be making money, too.
Toby Myles: Exactly. Was there anything else you ever thought you wanted to be?
Ally Berthiaume: I don't know, there was always so many things that, different things that excited me. Um, I could see myself of being a teacher for a little while when I was younger, and then I, I had, like, crazy ideas that I thought would be fun, like being an inventor or- Mm-hmm ... you know, um, getting to, getting to, like, design amusement parks.
I thought- Oh,
Toby Myles: that would be fun ...
Ally Berthiaume: like, really, really fun. Um- Yeah ... you know, so there was those things. Once I got a little bit older, um, and I was kind of encouraged to pick something else other than writing, uh, I t- I took my first kind of, like, introduction to psychology course in high school. It was kind of a new- Mm-hmm
course that they had put together, and I actually was like, "I really like this, actually." Like- Mm-hmm ... I like understanding people and maybe what makes them tick. I also started seeing a therapist at about 16. Mm-hmm. So, um, you know, I kind of was interested in, like, okay, how did I get here-
Toby Myles: Yeah ... as
Ally Berthiaume: a six-year-old?
Like, I've got this, like, stable and pretty supportive family- Mm-hmm ... but yet I'm feeling all of these different things that are making me really overwhelmed emotionally- Yeah ... um, to the point where I was having headaches and I was having all these, like, psychosomatic symptoms where my pediatrician was like, "I think" "she needs to talk to someone-
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: and, like, let it all out." Yes. I remember, like, when that happened, when he said that to me, he was, like, our last stop on this crazy train of, like, MRIs and CT scans and eye doctors. Oh,
Toby Myles: yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Like, you know, "Why is she having the headaches, and why is she so tired all the time?" And we got to the pediatrician's office, he asked me one question, and I was in a puddle of tears.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: And he was like, "Well, that's all I need to know," pulls my mom back in, and he's like, "All right. Well, my diagnosis is the girl's got anxiety."
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm. "
Ally Berthiaume: She needs a counselor."
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: I was like, "Oh my God, he's called me crazy," like- ... um, you know, really very dramatic and falling apart, but it was the best thing at the right time.
And, um, that paired with the psychology course, and I was like, I can see myself really wanting to help people in this way, really wanting to understand-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Ally Berthiaume: what's going on internally for people, because there- Mm-hmm ... is so much that is going on internally for people. Yeah. Um, so I did. I, for a while I was like, "I'll be a psychologist," and then for a little while- Yeah
I thought it would be a forensic psychologist, and then I thought it would be, you know, a psychologist that focused on persistent mental illness, you know, the, the people with the really, really hard diagnoses of schizophrenia and- Mm-hmm ... delusion disorder and, um, and then maybe I'll be an expert, like, witness for the court system.
You know, that was my CSI and Criminal Minds- Yeah. ... law phase.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, and but it, it, none of it ever really mattered because writing was always, like, tapping. And-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Ally Berthiaume: nah, you might be good at that, but-
Toby Myles: Yeah ... it's
Ally Berthiaume: not gonna light you up.
Toby Myles: I mean, I would say that it's probably good to have those skills as a business owner because- 'cause you do have to understand people and human nature and what motivates people and why somebody might be feeling a certain way about something when it comes to just relating to clients and, you know, other people in business.
I find, like, there's, there's a lot of that, you know, it's almost like a, a psychology course in and of it- itself.
Ally Berthiaume: Yeah. And- Well, honestly, like working with memoir, I've never seen it be more helpful
Toby Myles: Oh, yeah. A- and I was gonna say, because, um, I am working with a, a book coach to help me with mine, and we had a call yesterday, and there were tears shed.
And I said to her, "I feel like I'm have- I, this is a therapy session." She's like, "Well..." You know? So I can see where those skills for you w- definitely are not wasted. No. Let's just put it that way. No. They're not wasted. So, um, so um, your son was young when you, um, divorced and then started your business. Um, I'm curious to know, like, what he knows about what you do
Ally Berthiaume: Um, so he seems to know, like if he was to put it to, like, his classmates or his teachers, he would say something like, "My mom helps people write books."
Okay. "And she writes them herself." Um, and I think that that's pretty accurate. Mm-hmm. Like, um, I think he tends to talk about my books first, and see me more as an author first before really understanding the, like, helping other people thing. Mm-hmm. Um, and that's because he sees the books with my face on them, and he knows that they are mine.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Where
Ally Berthiaume: he's not always as aware, if he looks at my bookshelf, which ones are books that I've helped write, and which ones are, like, just books that I've bought that I wanna read.
Toby Myles: Right, right. So
Ally Berthiaume: he's got some awareness. He knows that I'm, he knows that I'm my own boss, and he likes... He, in his mind, that means that, like, my job is somehow more important, I think, than, than his stepdad or his real dad-
because they work for someone else. And so-
Toby Myles: Well, he's not wrong. I mean...
Ally Berthiaume: So, right? So he's like, "You must make all the money because- Yeah ... you're your own boss." And I'm like, "Oh, honey." "I wish it was like that was just the way it was."
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: You automatically make all the money 'cause you're your own boss. Yeah. Um, so we do have some interesting conversations around what that means, and what it means to be a business owner, and what the trade-offs are- Mm-hmm
and, like, the benefits, but then the harder parts.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, but I rem- I remember he had a tantrum the first night that he saw my very first book. My memoir came out in 2020. It was right when I started to pivot from copywriting and content writing into book coaching and editing and, and ghostwriting for a short time.
And he saw my book, and he was like... He was five, so it was very, it was this beautiful circular moment, because that was the same age I was when I remembered wanting to do this.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: So now I'm 35, he's five, I've got my very first book in my hands. He's, he's looking at it, and he's like, "Mommy, I want one."
And I was like, "Well, this is your copy." And he was like, "No, I want my own." And so he thought that we could type something up on the computer, and then- Oh ... print it out-
Toby Myles: Oh,
Ally Berthiaume: yeah ... and have it just be, like, immediately... And so I was trying to explain that that's not how it worked.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, and he just lost it.
Toby Myles: Oh, no.
Ally Berthiaume: "No, I want it right now." Oh, my. And I'm like, "I know, honey, but that's not, like you... It's not how it works." He just thought that I was, like, withholding from him.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: was like, "Okay, he's been bitten by the bug, I guess."
Toby Myles: Yes, yes. I think that it's so interesting to see, um, you know, w- when kids have, see both avenues, see both sides and choose one path over the other.
I, my parents at different times... My dad was a consultant for a while after he retired from working for the Navy Department, um, and the government, and my mom, um, owned her own travel agency for a while. Um, and, um, I, I don't know why, but I have always been most comfortable in my own skin as an entrepreneur, but I've done both things, right?
I've had jobs. I had a, a long career in marketing for 15 years before I started my business. Um, but I, I think it's, it's interesting to see what kids choose and for what reasons. Like, my two kids, um, my daughter has very much an entrepreneurial spirit and I think she would do it in a heartbeat. Um, whereas my son, other than wanting to be a musician, I don't think he's ever really thought about starting his own business, and yet most of their lives they've seen me as an entrepreneur.
And, and my husband, he's like, "I could never do it." Yeah. "Just never do it." Yeah. So. I, I mean, I could see... So my ki- my, my kiddo is,
Ally Berthiaume: like, very much like the curious, like, "How can I make money off of this?"
Toby Myles: Yeah,
Ally Berthiaume: yeah. He's pretty m- money motivated already.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: And, um, and he can be entrepreneurial at times. Um, but I, I could also see as he, he gets older and he understands a little bit more about what things cost- Mm-hmm ... and, you know, how to make it work, I could see him erring on the side of, like, thinking that the, the traditional 9:00 to 5:00 is, like, security.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, I don't know. Maybe he's gonna do both like I did. Um- Yeah ... it'll, it'll be interesting to see kinda where he, where he lands. Yeah.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah. For sure. So, um, you know, as we kind of touched on a little bit, having your own business, being your own boss is not always easy. I mean, it can be very fun and the challenges can even be fun, you know, how do you figure things out.
But, like, on your worst days, like, on the days when it's really hard, what is it that, like, keeps you going?
Ally Berthiaume: Um, so the, actually last year was, like, a particularly difficult year where I thought more than once about going and making sandwiches somewhere.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, or I actually, I started looking at part-time work.
Like, okay, what can I do that might be part-time that allows me to kind of flounder around and figure out what the next thing looks like over here, but still bring in a little bit of income? And so, um, I started thinking about, you know, teaching at the college level. Mm-hmm. Um, because I, I did teach a little bit when I was getting my master's.
I had a graduate assistantship teaching women's studies in the women's studies department.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm. And
Ally Berthiaume: I realized how much I liked teaching then. And for a number of years in my own business, I've, I've supervised interns at a local college, and I just really like that age- Mm-hmm ... um, and helping those young minds kind of develop and get their start.
And so I was like, all right, I could see myself teaching. Mm-hmm. Um, so that might be, that might be something. Um, but truthfully, like I would always come back to flexibility. Yeah. I'm always coming back to flexibility. Like, I'm so used to being able to kind of operate at my own rhythm in the morning. What would it be like for me to try to get my butt somewhere on time for like a 9:00 start?
Yeah. Yeah. Like, um, my son, so many times he has the comfort of, you know, being at the after-school program, maybe having a tough day or having a tough moment, being able to call and say, "Mom, I just am tapped out. Can I come home?" Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like, "Can you come get me a little bit early?"
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, I've got an elderly gentleman in my life, uh, who's a dear family friend.
His kids are not here locally. Mm-hmm. So I'm like a person who gets called when something's happening at the assisted living center. You know, I'm trying to make care team meetings and go with him to his, you know, appointments so that there's somebody there to advocate for him.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: That still feels really important to me, but I'm able to do that because I have the flexibility of- Yeah
like getting to just make up that time elsewhere where it's needed. Yeah. Um, so it runs the risk of course of stretching myself a little too thin and trying to do a little bit too much and, you know, that kind of thing, which I think a lot of women can relate to in general. Mm-hmm. Trying to be everything to everyone.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: But I really do value the flexibility. I value the flexibility of like, "Not today, Satan." Like Yeah ... I'm, I need to check out. I need a moment, you know? Yep. Need a little bit longer burn-in period. I need to work a little longer tonight to get this thing done. Mm-hmm. I need to stop and just focus on being a mom right now.
Like- Yeah ... you know, my... I think we started last year's school year, um, with him having pneumonia, and he was out- out of school for two weeks.
Toby Myles: Oh my gosh.
Ally Berthiaume: And, uh, it was within the first month of school. Oh, wow. So not a great way to begin.
Toby Myles: No. Mm-mm.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, but, you know, far easier for me than his dad to rearrange my call schedule and, um, figure out what life was gonna look like to just be present with him while he was fighting through the pneumonia-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm
Ally Berthiaume: than if I had to take all of my sick time from a regular job- Sure ... all at once. Yeah.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Right? And then not have it the rest of the year.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Flexibility at this point, um, is like one of the things that I value the most, and it's the thing that keeps coming back. Like, I just keep coming back to that.
Yeah. Like, I, I can't give this up.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: It's precious.
Toby Myles: Uh, yeah. I, I'm with you on that. Anytime I even think like, "Oh, maybe, you know, there's just something I could do," which wouldn't be very much because I, I'm, you know, I've been- on my own for so long, my own boss for so long that I'm not really sure that, um, how well I would tolerate being told what to do.
I, I never really liked it before anyway.
Ally Berthiaume: Get it, yeah.
Toby Myles: Um, like you said, make sandwiches. You know, I always joke that we have a Tractor Supply down the street from us. I could literally walk-
Ally Berthiaume: Yeah ...
Toby Myles: and work at Tractor Supply, but only during chick season when they have the little baby chicks there. Like, that's my favorite time, but that's only, like, two weeks.
That's not gonna- Yeah ... pay, pay my bills, you know? So. Right. But I, but I'm totally with you on that. The, the freedom of time is as valuable to me as, as the income potential, um, because we are... My husband's retired. He was in the Army for 30-plus years, and he's retired, and he does his own thing, and we have an RV, and we like to go camping, and I...
This is not the time for me to be tied to, you know, a job, so-
Ally Berthiaume: Yeah ...
Toby Myles: I will make it work, even when it's, even when it's tough. So, um, so I guess on that note, for anyone who might be listening who is thinking about taking the leap to entrepreneurship, um, or wants a side hustle maybe to build a business on the side and then go full time, like, what would be one piece of advice you would give that person?
Ally Berthiaume: You're not going to have it all figured out So try some things, fail at some things, be good at some things, and take it all as data. It's just data. And observe the data, right? Where did you feel the most joy? Where did you feel the most discomfort? Where did you feel the most angst? Where did you feel the most unhappy, right?
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Ally Berthiaume: And that's how you kind of start to file through, "I like working with that person but not that person. I like doing this thing but not that thing." Mm-hmm. You know? I think you said it earlier, um, you know, where we start isn't where we have to end up. Yep. And I always feel like I have one foot in, like, what's this season, and I always have a n- my next foot in, like, I know where I could go next.
Yeah. Like, um, and but you have to start somewhere. Yeah. And you have to build off of somewhere. So- Mm-hmm ... take the leap, try some things, say yes to a bunch, right? Until you feel comfortable saying no because you figured out what's the most aligned and what to really say no to. Um- Yeah ... and also be aware that something that you could say yes to today might feel wrong for you tomorrow.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Ally Berthiaume: Um, that's usually when I've known to pivot or evolve is when something that used to feel really aligned starts to feel like I've outgrown it.
Toby Myles: Yeah,
Ally Berthiaume: yeah. And that's okay, too. Yeah. Like,
Toby Myles: it's
Ally Berthiaume: an evolution, you know?
Toby Myles: Absolutely. A- and it's okay. It is a, a natural, normal part of the whole process, and it doesn't mean- Yeah
that if something's out of alignment that somehow you've failed. It's, it's, it happens. It's part of the process as we grow and, and- Yeah ... you know. And, you know, it's business should be fun, right? So i- if something is just not fun anymore, like, what is gonna be fun? Like, it's not all fun. There's hard parts, but, like, a, a large part of what we do is because we enjoy it, because it's fun.
If it's no longer fun, then, then it's okay to pivot.
Ally Berthiaume: Yeah.
Toby Myles: So, well, this has been amazing, as I knew it would. And, um, I would love for you to share with our listeners where they can connect with you and find you online.
Ally Berthiaume: Yeah. So, um, probably the best first stop on your Ally train- ... it, um, my website, so thewriteplacerighttime.com.
So the first right is W-R-I-T-E, and the second one is R-I-G-H-T, so thewriteplacerighttime.com. That should link you over to the other places where I'm hanging out. Um, LinkedIn is the predominant online place where I'm doing the most kind of posting and most kind of activity, and I'm always welcome to getting DMs and connection requests.
Um, but you can also find me on YouTube. I have a YouTube channel, uh, same name, The Write Place Right Time. Um, and I don't know if I'll be adding anything more to that anytime soon, so those are probably the three best places to come and connect.
Toby Myles: Awesome. Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I feel like we could keep going.
There would be... I'm not sure, like, uh, you know, anyone listening would wanna hear all the things we were gonna talk about, but I definitely could keep going. So I appreciate you for sitting down with me. I appreciate your ti- time and, um, I can't wait for everybody to hear this episode.
Ally Berthiaume: Thanks so much for having me, Toby.
Toby Myles: Thank you.