Kate Ferrian shares her journey from corporate leadership and an abusive relationship to building a life and business centered on self-trust. In this episode, we talk about healing old patterns, navigating divorce, and learning to trust yourself again.
Check Out These Highlights:
Kate Ferrian’s origin story begins with a powerful moment of clarity; standing in her closet, realizing she needed to leave an abusive relationship and start choosing herself. What followed wasn’t an instant transformation, but years of courageous inner work, healing, and rebuilding trust in her own voice.
In this episode, Kate shares how her experiences in corporate leadership, marriage, divorce, and personal growth led her to break generational patterns and rethink what a fulfilling life truly looks like. She and Toby explore the ways self-doubt and old conditioning can keep women stuck, and how learning to trust yourself can change everything.
Kate also talks about the deeper work behind personal transformation: healing old wounds, setting boundaries, and creating a life that feels aligned rather than simply successful on the outside. Listeners will walk away with powerful insights on self-trust, personal growth, and the courage it takes to rewrite your story.
About Kate Ferrian:
Kate Ferrian is the founder of Simply Become It, where she helps women heal old patterns, overcome self-doubt, and build lives rooted in self-trust and alignment. Drawing from 16 years in corporate leadership and her own journey through divorce and personal transformation, Kate guides women in creating lives that truly reflect who they are.
Connect with Kate:
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kateferrian/
🌐 Websites: https://www.simplybecomeit.com/
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/simplybecomeit/
🎁 Free Resource: https://www.simplybecomeit.com/5-minute-freebies-resetrealign/confidence
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About Me: https://tobymyles.com/about/
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Toby Myles: My guest today is Kate Ferrian, founder of Simply Become It. Kate's story begins with a moment that forced her to see things clearly standing in her closet, trying to leave an unhealthy relationship, and realizing something had to change What followed wasn't an overnight transformation. It was the slow, courageous work of rebuilding trust in herself.
Now after 16 years in corporate leadership and her own journey through divorce and breaking generational patterns, Kate helps women tackle self-doubt, heal old wounds, and create lives that actually feel aligned at the core of her work is something she worked really hard at. That's the ability to trust herself.
Hey Kate, welcome to the podcast.
Kate Ferrian: Hi Toby. Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited for our chat today.
Toby Myles: I, I am too. Um, so I usually start by telling people how we know each other and I think, um. We were introduced by Courtney, is that right?
Kate Ferrian: Yep.
Toby Myles: Correct.
Kate Ferrian: Yeah.
Toby Myles: Yes,
Kate Ferrian: yes, exactly.
Toby Myles: And actually, I just had Courtney on the podcast last week.
Um, oh. She and I have known each other. We've been online friends for many years. And, um, I was so excited to finally have her on the show. And as these things go, when I meet amazing women, I know that they usually know other amazing women. And so Courtney introduced us and I'm, I'm super excited that she did.
Yeah. So, um. Take us back if you can, to that moment in time that you really feel like. Put you on the path that you're on right now?
Kate Ferrian: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. It was, um, an unexpected moment. I'm sure like most women have, uh, when they start to do, go on this journey and do this work. But, uh, I had been, i'll, I'll go back to the night that it had, that, that this really struck for me was, uh, a night I was in a relationship, uh, about a year into the relationship.
And it, uh, we were in, we were fighting and it got physical. I was standing in my closet, uh, packing my bags, trying to get outta the house as quickly as possible. I had my phone in one hand. I was grabbing for things in the other hand, and when I turned around, he was trying to. Grabbed my phone outta my hand as I was trying to call for help.
And I went to slap his hand away. And, um, when I did, he looked at me and he said, if you hit me, I'm going to effing hit you. And in that moment, even as I say it still, there's a sensation in my body that comes up that goes. Oh my gosh, how is this reality? How am I here? Mm-hmm. How am I standing in this moment?
How did I get here? I am strong, I'm independent. I've built a career. I own a home. I've done all these things. How is this the moment that I'm in? And for me, that was, that was the changing moment of anything. Um, through that, through that moment too. Another piece that happened is I did, I was able to call for help.
And, um, the voice on the other line, uh, said. Is it really that bad?
Toby Myles: Oh my
Kate Ferrian: gosh. And in that moment, um, you know, uh, it, it hit me, those were two really solid pieces because is it really that bad? Was something that I had heard my whole entire life starting at a young age, starting with anxiety and tears and things like that.
And it was always, is it really that bad? And that question, even though it wasn't necessarily meant to, to undermine me or, or shut me down. It did. And so in that same moment of me going, how did I get here? Needing help and having that be the response ultimately, um, opened up my world to having to look at, uh, who I was, who I was around, where I came from, and, and ultimately what I was bringing with me and carrying with me and what I wanted to let go.
Toby Myles: Mm. Mm-hmm. I know we talked about this before about this idea that, um, because I also survived an abusive relationship, I stayed for much longer than you did, um, thinking that I could help, I could, I could bring enough love to the relationship that I could help heal this person who had had a very traumatic childhood.
But the idea that like, we're smart, educated. Women resourceful all the things, and yet we still find ourselves in these relationships that somehow become. Controlling and abusive over time. Right. It's, it's like you said, how did I get here?
Kate Ferrian: Yeah. And it, it's amazing because it's actually so much more common than what we know, and this is why I talk about this and I share my experience because, um, even that night.
Even though it was the beginning of, of the end for me, I still stayed in that relationship another year. Yeah. Um, it never got physical again. Um, but it was still mental and emotionally abusive throughout that year, and it was a fight every single day for myself to say, why am I staying? How do I, how do I get out of here?
Um, and keep going through that. But I do think as strong independent women, uh, we, we are actually targeted for those types of relationships. Because we are so caring, we, we've worked hard to get where we are, um, in our lives. And we think that if we just work hard, like you said, if we give enough love, if we work hard enough, if we understand this other person enough and know their trauma and their childhood, um, that we can, we can give enough to, to make it okay.
Mm-hmm. And so I think a lot of. Times, uh, that type of, uh, you know, narcissism in, in the other person really does target, um, strong independent women because it's a breaking of kind of the spirit that we have, that we just think that we can, that we can heal others.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yes, exactly. And too, and I've said this to many people over the years, that you don't.
In most cases, I can't speak for everyone, but in most cases, the person does not display these narcissistic tendencies from day one. It's gradual happens over time. It's, it's almost like a brainwashing. Um, and, and sort of a, you know, um. Just this like losing of your self-esteem and your identity and Yeah.
And you look to this person to build you back up, right? Yeah. And so it, it, it just becomes so, um, just dangerous to Yeah. To who we are. So, um, so then what, once you were able to leave mm-hmm. It's not like you were magically like. Healed, obviously. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It took a lot of work and time. Can you talk about that?
Kate Ferrian: Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I think even it, it started even while I was in that role. Relationship. So that, that night, um, was definitely an awakening for me of like, what, something needs to change here. What am I gonna do? It was a lot of little steps that added up that ultimately got me to leave that relationship.
So earlier that, this was August and June, I had started working out with a personal trainer. I think that was the first kind of step of me stepping away from the relationship a little bit. 'cause we had worked out together. Um, and so I started going to a personal trainer that was just. Getting me, you know, a little bit of, little bit more space, a little bit more freedom.
'cause again, you, it is, uh, the steps that are taken to get you to this place of, um, letting go of your friends, your family, isolating. Mm-hmm. Like it all happens little by little. Yes. And so that was a huge first step for me, which didn't even seem like a huge one at the time, but it really was From there, uh, I, I.
I ultimately kept asking for help, and that was, that's the key thing is when you ask for help enough times, somebody will help you. Mm-hmm. Um, people wanna support you. I think the hardest part in being in that situation is that we just don't ask for help because, again, I. I mean, you look at how we were not even groomed by, by that relationship, but our whole entire lives to be these strong, independent women.
We were told and shown that we can do it on our own, that we don't mm-hmm. Need support. That we just need to work harder and, and bust through things. Um, so it's the perfect situation for us to all of a sudden come to a place where, when we need the help that we feel like we can't ask. For it.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Kate Ferrian: That was, that was key.
Was asking for help. I had, um, so I started strength training. Uh, from there, uh, my strength trainer introduced me to a gal who did yoga. I started doing one-on-one yoga. Um, that really starts moving your energy. It starts to clear that, that stagnant energy out of your body and kind of go, okay. I'm, I'm, I can feel a little something more.
Um, from there I started working with a life coach and we started working through not only relationship stuff, but career and, um, and understanding some of that I was doing traditional therapy along the whole entire way. Mm-hmm. Um, it's funny sometimes my, my good friends who I had by my side, the same thing, I had a really great support system.
Three girlfriends along the way, but. My one girlfriend would say, I don't understand why your therapist is not saying, like, you need to get out of that relationship. You know? And, and she was to a degree. But the thing is, nobody, nobody can pull you out of it. Right. Nobody can, can take your hand and say, let's go.
We're, we're, we're, we're going. Mm-hmm.
Toby Myles: Um.
Kate Ferrian: So it was important for me to keep asking for help every step of the way to keep finding a new person, a new practitioner, because what it was doing was, it was building the muscle inside of me that was helping build the confidence, helping build the self-trust, helping, um, by taking the action and taking those small steps is ultimately what allowed me to finally leave that relationship.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I think too, the fact that you, you know. Like the first opportunity you had to ask for help. Maybe it wasn't. Necessarily easy. But you got that feedback, right? You were starting to notice sort of like, um, I thought of it as like a coming back to like who I actually was, that I had like lost in the process of this relationship and like you, um, for different reasons.
I was a middle child and I had a brother with special needs, and so I grew up thinking, I'm fine. I can do everything myself. Right? I'm a middle child. I don't need anybody else. Right? And so. Um, for some of us asking for help is, is. Really hard.
Kate Ferrian: It's so hard. I think especially, I mean, I think for all humans it's hard to ask for help, but especially for women when, uh, when you can see the, and generationally, you can kind of see how it's come about that we have become, um, these, these women who are so strong and so independent and don't need it.
Mm-hmm. Um, don't need that help, or we think we don't need that help. So it just, it again, it. The perfect storm of coming to a place of needing help and not being able to ask for it. So there, the, the one thing I tell everybody is we have to, we have to ask for help and we have to support each other. Yeah.
Um, it, it's so important to have, have women around us.
Toby Myles: Yes, yes, for sure. So. Um, so of course now I wanna know because your entire business is helping other women. And so what was the process of not just healing yourself and learning to trust yourself? Um, when did it occur to you? Like, wow, I, my experience and I might actually be really good at helping other women.
How did, what was that bridge?
Kate Ferrian: Yeah. Yeah. That's a great question. So I, I can remember, um. So it was actually, so I was in that relationship for a whole nother year, working on these little pieces, kind of all coming into play. Uh, and at the same time, I was at a company that I had been at for 10 and a half years of my career.
I like to say it's the company I grew up at. You know, I started there when I was 25. Mm-hmm. Um, and started realizing through the work that I was doing, like I was, I wasn't happy. I had climbed the ladder. I was a, you know, senior director had all this. Stuff. Um, but also realize like. There's something missing here.
Mm-hmm. I'm not happy. The values aren't aligning. You know, what, what, where is that next place for me? So while I was going through all the work on myself, it was really kind of starting to play into my career as well. And then I, uh. I finally made the decision to leave that relationship. Um, I owned the house that we lived in, so I basically had to kick him out.
And same thing, that was a whole process. I had to send an email and put dates and times and, you know, um, language in there to say this, you have to leave by here. And so. Uh, he was moving out one weekend and I made the first time I've ever solo traveled in my life. But I had found this resort a couple years before, um, called Miraval, and I was like, someday I'm gonna do it.
It's super bougie, a really nice place. Um, and I thought, this is, this is the time, this is the moment while he's moving outta my house. I will go here, um, and, and kind of continue to do some of this inner work. And I went there and it was. An incredible experience. I can remember one of the first classes I took was a, a writing your mantra and a guided meditation.
And she had us and I, I was starting to meditate a little bit, but doing more guided meditation, not, not fully in it. And she, she led us through this meditation. She said, what, what you're gonna listen for is this really soft voice. It's not loud, it's just gonna kind of come to you. And as we sat there, all of a sudden I heard.
You are, you're enough. And, uh, the tears just started coming. Mm-hmm. We all opened our eyes and me and this other gal are sitting across from each other just in complete tears. Uh, but the, the reason I tell the story is because this was the beginning of that dream for me. I had such an amazing experience at, at Miraval.
The, I went through all kinds of different, um, there were fitness classes, there's meditation classes, there's classes on anything you could imagine. And you basically set your schedule, um, to kind of try all these things and leaving there. I just remember going. I need to bring this back to Minnesota. How do I bring this home?
How do I create this for other women to be able to do this kind of work, but in, um, in a, in their own, in their own way, in their own home? Because retreats are great. I love retreats. I love coaching. I love it all. Let's be honest, how many of us go on a retreat and then come home and go, oh my gosh, I'm gonna integrate everything that I learned here and work on it every day and do it.
We, we go right back to that career that we've been building. We go right back to the, the mouths we need to feed the laundry that needs to get done. And so I've wanted to be able to create something that allowed us to do this work in our everyday life. Mm-hmm. Because through that year that I started doing this work.
Integrating it daily was the key to success and being able to get to that point. Um, so that's really where it started. I got home and my life coach was like, let's do it. Like you gotta do it. Let's start taking some steps. And so little it, it didn't come, you know, right away it came through. Um, those, again, those small little steps.
And so the final step really that kind of launched it was she pushed me to have an event at my house. She said, you love entertaining, you love bringing women together. Maybe you don't know exactly how this is gonna shape up, but let's have the event and let's see what happens. Mm-hmm. And so we did that and uh, there were about 30 women there and just so encouraging.
And at the time I had, I had kind of three pieces of what I wanted to bring together for women. One is. I wanted women to have a support system that they didn't have to go looking for, that that was there, that was, that was ready to support them, um, of different coaches and different practitioners, because I just am a true believer that you need different perspectives and different people along your journey.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Kate Ferrian: The other thing I wanted to do is I wanted to make these practices. So simple that you could do them in five to 10 minutes. That that is all it took because it, whether it was reading a chapter of a book or doing a short guided meditation, anything that allowed you to focus on yourself was, was integrating into your life.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Kate Ferrian: Um. And then the last piece of it was really focusing on our strengths. I help women look at their strengths mentally, emotionally, and energetically. And that's a piece that I had brought into the teams that I had led, uh, through corporate. So I had kind of these three pieces. And ultimately, uh, when I, I was still in corporate.
I had by that time actually left my 10 and a half year, um, job and went to another one. And, uh, I thought I'd be there for at least three to five years. You know, I was still kind of like, all right, I'm not quite ready. But, um, and same thing there. As I got into it, I started to realize. Nope, my values aren't aligning here.
I have this idea, I know where I wanna go. And so from the time that we had that event at my house to really, when I launched the business was about, um. A about a little over a year, year and year and two, three months, somewhere in there. Mm-hmm. Uh, and I just remember putting in my notice, uh, because again, I was still not quite fully ready to launch, uh, but we, I was getting to a point with the leadership team there, where, where we kind of knew that we were gonna separate it at some point.
Um, and I just remember going home on a Thursday, having a glass of wine and being like. All right, now's the time. So I went back in on Monday, put in my notice. They were a little surprised that I was gonna leave as quickly as I, as I did. But, um, that's the beauty of doing this work is you get to a point where you trust yourself so incredibly much that you go, whatever's to come is, is gonna be meant for me and, and I can trust in myself.
Not in an egotistical way, but in a really grounded, uh, in a really grounded way to be able to do that.
Toby Myles: Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I think when you know that. How you can, um, help other people and how, and particularly help other women sort of transform their lives. Um, and like you say, trust yourself. Um. You, you know, you're gonna make it work.
Mm-hmm. Like, it's, it, the, the, the calling is so strong that you know that you're gonna make it work.
Kate Ferrian: Yep. Absolutely. I, yeah, it is. I always say like, when you're putting good out there into the universe, into the world, like what, what, what good is not gonna come back from that. Yeah. Um, it's pretty amazing to go on this journey and, and also know that you've gone through these things for a reason, for a purpose to be able to take that and now share that with.
Um, on their journey too.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah. So, um, talk a little bit about the structure of your, um, coaching. Um,
Kate Ferrian: yeah.
Toby Myles: I'm gonna, I'm gonna use that word just 'cause I think people understand that because it's, it's different than other coaching programs.
Kate Ferrian: It is, it's very different than other coaching programs. It's got a few different elements.
And I, it's funny, I actually struggled with even calling myself a coach at the beginning because I was like, I'm not gonna do the coaching. I have this infrastructure that I'm building and I, I want other women to do the coaching. And so, uh, the journey, it's very structured. This is for women who are like, oh my gosh, I'm so busy.
How am I gonna fit another thing in? And also, um, maybe I don't wanna walk into a one-on-one coach and just. Talk and hope that my problems are gonna get solved.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Kate Ferrian: Um, this is for women who want something that they can follow along with, follow a process with, um, but know that these little changes are gonna amount to really big transformations by the end.
So it's 90 days. It's done in a group coaching, uh, format. So five women go through this journey alone, uh, or together. I'm sorry, I limit this to five women because I just think there's a sweet spot in there of everybody gets their own time, but we have enough support around us. Mm-hmm. Um, and what we do is we start with a, we meet four times along the way, once at the beginning, once at the end, twice in the middle.
And we kick off in a cohort style that allows us to, one, get to know each other, have some conversation we go through, uh, what the journey is going, what, what it's going to entail. We bring in a lot of somatic work, so we always start off with a guided meditation, uh, some sort of body movement, things like that.
And then we move into the first seven days, which is all about focusing on our strengths and building confidence. Through those. So I mentioned earlier we look at mentally, emotionally, and energetically. I use three different assessments and tools to do that. And so women get this beautiful profile of themselves laid out on paper.
Um, a lot of it isn't new information, but to see it on paper where you can go, wait a second. That's me, and that's really cool. Mm-hmm. Like I, I'm a really cool person, which is probably the hardest thing for women to admit. Yeah. Um, it, it's the hardest thing for them to recognize that they have these innate strengths in them that just make them beautiful human beings.
And to be able to say that, uh, confidently and not egotistically. I think a lot of times we worry about that. So they move into these five minute practices for seven days on the strength stuff. Then we, uh, move into a next section where we really evaluate our life holistically. We, we look at every area from career to relationships, finances, uh, movement and exercise.
And we do some ratings around where are we currently at in these areas. Where do we wanna go in these areas? Uh, and then we look at our values and we tie in our values and, you know, a lot of people do values work. Everything I do kind of brings it to that next level deeper. It's not just, oh, I have a value of integrity, and it's, what does that actually mean to you?
What is your description of integrity so that we can, you know, really understand it and move, move by that, that, that value. That's a two week period. Then lastly, we move into, um, a four week period, which is all about our limiting beliefs. What are the saboteurs or the behaviors that we've developed over our lifetime?
What are the life events that have happened that have actually created those behaviors? And then what's the wounding underneath it? And so by looking at all three of those perspectives, we really have this great, uh, uh, vision of. Gosh, these are the behaviors that have kept me safe for a long time, but they're no longer serving me.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Kate Ferrian: And maybe I wanna change those, but where did they come from? Well, mm-hmm. Here are the life events that kind of shape those, and what's that wound underneath? Am I feeling rejected? Am I feeling abandoned? What am I, what am I, you know, what am I really feeling that? Uh, and so once we go through that, the, the, that kind of leads us to day 50.
Days 50 through 60, we start to set a vision. What do we wanna look like? What do we wanna feel like? This is not about achieving the next thing we already know we can achieve. We know we can work hard, we know we can hit our goals, uh, but this is more about the vision for ourselves and how we wanna, how we wanna, uh, make conscious choices moving forward.
And then the last part of the journey is where the coaching really comes in. So, uh, I've built a team of coaches called the Simply Synergy Squad. I have a career coach. Uh. Uh, strength training coach, and then a functional health coach. And so women start with one of those areas and they go into one-on-one coaching for the last 30 days of the program.
Toby Myles: Hmm.
Kate Ferrian: Um, and then one of the newest changes I've actually made that I'm really excited about, so I mentioned, I, you know, I, I, I never wanted to call myself a coach, but I, I knew that I had this. Framework that women could flow through and, and really see themselves and get support and be able to, um, start making conscious choices moving forward.
So through the first 60 days, uh, I have brought in a, another coach. She's a wellness coach, but she's also been a trained therapist. And so what she really specifically works on with women is, uh, mindset and nervous system. So as we're going through and uncovering all of this. Stuff. The clients get two sessions with her, um, to really integrate that work into their everyday life as
Toby Myles: well.
Hmm.
Kate Ferrian: Oh my gosh. So good holistic way of looking at ourselves. There's a fun little package of other women-owned business products that comes with it and um, and there's even a curated playlist that kind of follows along the journey that you can pop on when you're going through it, so,
Toby Myles: oh, so good.
Kate Ferrian: I wanted to create something where women just felt so cared for.
Yeah. Where they could walk into this journey and know that they're doing this work, feel that they're supported, um, but also know that somebody's, somebody's on the other side caring for them as well.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Oh my God. I just hear you describe it. It's like, it's like a spa day for like your soul.
Kate Ferrian: Yes. Yeah.
Toby Myles: That's what it feels like to me. So I'm, and so then I'm curious, like, um, when somebody decides to, um, to join, like. Without specifics, I don't want you to, you know,
Kate Ferrian: yeah.
Toby Myles: Talk about any one person specifically, but are the women usually feeling what, like stuck are they? What is usually going on for them?
Kate Ferrian: Yeah, they're usually feeling stuck. They're usually feeling burned out. They've usually tried either traditional therapy or they've seen a coach before, but nothing's actually sticking in their lives. And what I mean by that is, um, I'll, I'll go to our saboteurs. So many of us carry behaviors of perfectionism, control, procrastination, um, things that, that we recognize in ourselves.
We don't know how to change it.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Kate Ferrian: And, and that's where this work. So, so a lot of women who come to me are experiencing those types of things where they're going, gosh, I, my life looks so good on paper, but something in my soul is not right. Something in my body is not feeling happy. Mm-hmm. Why is it that I've made it to, you know, a VP level?
I, the income is great. Uh, you know, my kids are, are doing well, they're in sports and we've got a crazy, you know, busy life that way. Um, but something in me feels like it's. Like, I'm not happy.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Kate Ferrian: Uh, so that's kind of, that's kind of the start. And, and a lot of it is focused around career. I meet a lot of women, a lot of co women coming to the journey are in this transition spot of, yeah, I hit that VP level, or I hit that director level, or I hit my career goals, but I'm not fulfilled.
I'm sitting in meetings going. Are you kidding me? Like, that's the idea that's coming out over there. Um, and they, and they're, but they're not sure where to turn. They haven't thought of any, any other way to use their, um, strengths and, and to, to really fulfill themselves. And so they're wanting a direction of like, do I stay in corporate?
Do I keep doing this? If I'm going to keep doing this though, how do I maybe put less focus on. The achievement of this career and, and, and focus more on, um, the fulfillment of it, or mm-hmm. Is it, do I, do I wanna take that leap outta corporate? But if I do, what do I even do? I think there's so many women right now questioning themselves on what do, if I wanna leave here, what would I, what would I even do?
Mm-hmm. And so, a big part of the journey that we talk about is I, I am a firm believer that when you bring your values, your innate strengths, and something that really light. You up? What are you excited about? What, what do you love talking about when you bring those three things together? I, I am a firm believer that you will make money one way or another by,
Toby Myles: yeah.
Yeah. Because I think it's so easy to kind of get caught up in that. I don't even wanna use climbing the corporate ladder because that feels so, like,
Kate Ferrian: yeah.
Toby Myles: Cliche. But it is like, what's the next thing that I do to keep, to keep growing inside this role? Right. Until you get to a point where you're like, yeah.
I like, I don't even like this. That's not even making me at all happy. That was my, that was my journey. I mean, I took my job for, um, stability reasons at the time, you know, I was in marketing and, and it was fine, but it was, you know, great benefits and normal hours. I was a single mom at the time, um, and I was there for almost 15 years and I finally realized like, I, I am going nowhere here.
Like, and I, and I felt like I really wasn't using. My gifts in any. So for me it was definitely that. It's like, um, yeah, this is like, I could keep doing this probably for another 10, 20 years, but do I really want to?
Kate Ferrian: Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's where so many women are. I know that's where I was too. I mean, I, I really enjoyed my career.
I loved, I loved the, um. I loved the task of it. I loved the strategy of it. I loved the brainstorming of it. I was in operations and so it was kind of pulling that all together. But the politics of it, the idea that you, like you said, it is cliche of the climbing the corporate ladder, but it it, I think in corporate, especially if you're not.
If you're not somebody who is, um, trying to climb, you're not looked at as valuable and it's such a shame because
Toby Myles: mm-hmm.
Kate Ferrian: I think if we change that mindset and the system in general, so many more women would be fulfilled in what they're actually doing. Yes. And so I think that's where women are trying to look outside of that because the system is just not supportive of.
Each individual coming to a place of fulfillment and using their true gifts to support the greater, you know, company or greater good of, of an organization.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And you talk about the politics of it sometimes to get to those higher levels, you've really gotta be drinking the Kool-Aid.
Kate Ferrian: Yeah.
Toby Myles: And, and if you're, if you're not somebody that does well with that, then it can be.
Difficult.
Kate Ferrian: Yeah. Yep. Absolutely. Yeah. And it's, it is, it's such a shame. So I think a, a lot of women are looking for something different right now and
Toby Myles: mm-hmm.
Kate Ferrian: Uh, that's where, again, I'll, I'll plug the journey. It's the perfect place to kind of do that work and um, and figure out what that can look like and have to support behind it.
Toby Myles: Yes. It sounds amazing. So I wanna go back a little bit further. Um, yeah. Pre, um, Kate in, in corporate and even the relationship, like, can you go back to like childhood? Do you remember. Ever thinking about what you wanted to do when you grew up?
Kate Ferrian: Um, you know what's funny is I can remember one thing, so I love to cook.
Um, and I used to, I used to cook a lot, like a, a lot, a lot where I would, you know, on a Saturday be like, I'm gonna make that chocolate tort. And this was when I was like. You know, 9, 10, 11, um, I'd make homemade noodles, all this stuff to the point where when I think it was, uh, like I was 12 and my dad had sent off for a package from the Culinary Institute of America.
And on Christmas this package shows up with a chef's hat and like all the chef stuff, there's still a picture of me and I didn't think it was so cool back then. So the picture was, was me frowning in this chef's hat and the collar and all this stuff. But that was, that's always been a, um. That has always been a dream of mine of some sort, is I'm like, oh, it'd be so fun to have some sort of cafe or some sort of bakery, some something where I can, um, serve food.
I always say like, food is my love language. I love feeding my people and you know, show them that I love them with food. So
Toby Myles: yes, I'm very much the same way. Unless it's an obligation, like everybody's hungry and we just have to eat something, I'm like, yeah, it's not so fun.
Kate Ferrian: No. Isn't it the truth? I know, and it's funny 'cause as much as I love to cook, then by the end of the meal I'm like, I don't even want to eat this.
Toby Myles: I know, I know. I'm the same way.
Kate Ferrian: Yeah.
Toby Myles: So, um, so for anyone who's listening, who is maybe feeling stuck in a career, aside from obviously coming along. You know, and joining the journey. Yeah. Um, like what would be your best. Piece of advice to just kind of like navigate what is next for them.
Kate Ferrian: Mm-hmm. Um, I, where I would start, so I am a big, uh, AI user chat.
GPT is kinda my, one of my main platforms that I use. Um. I would start to ask it some questions, I would start to play around with it. So one of the things that we do in the journey, or one of the things I've created is that we can actually take the information from the journey and pop it back into chat, GPT, so it has your profile.
Mm-hmm. Um, so I would actually say start with, start with some assessments. Look at some tried and true assessments. The Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, uh, there's strength finders, there's any of those. Those would be great ones to just. Find the free assessment, take it, and then pop your results into chat GPT and start asking it some questions around, what could this look like for me?
Mm-hmm. Uh, if I decided to leave corporate, what would a small step be that I could maybe find a place to volunteer at to even see that if this is, you know, a path that I would wanna take? Um, I think AI can be used in so many creative ways and this. For me is, um, a, a big part of what I like to help women with is how, how do we, how do we use the tools that we have?
Yes. But buy them, not just, not just start asking it questions, but it's really important to find those strengths. Find, find your personality types, find some of those things, um, and use that as a starting point to plug it in.
Toby Myles: Hmm. I think that's great. I also have found many ways to use ai. Um. I started my business as a copywriter and now I'm a, a storytelling coach.
But, um, I started to really see the writing on the wall that a lot of people are going to use chat GBT and not hire me. And so I shifted the way that I work with the tool. Yeah. Um, because it can be great for brainstorming ideation, um. Some people use it as a therapist, you know?
Kate Ferrian: Yeah. It, it, it absolutely it is.
It's, um, we, I, and yeah, I'm totally one of those people because there's further work that I, you know, I do outside of my journey. And, um, it is, I actually just took a, I try and go every quarter, so I've gone a mival, but every, every quarter, every quarter and a half, I will, um, go to a, go find a hotel, find a resort in kind of a warmer climate, especially.
Yes, winter in Minnesota. Um, but I will go and take a day and, and just do some of that inner work. I'll use different tools around internal family systems and, uh, which has parts work and some different things, but using, using chat GPT as that thought partner or being able to write a letter, um, and get your feelings out to it and have it like, kind of spit it back to you in a way that, uh, that helps you get to the core of some of those, those feelings is, is really cool.
Toby Myles: Yeah. And I think you touched on something too that I think is something we don't do often enough. Not just women, but most people is, is find that quiet. Yeah. Um, away from our day-to-day responsibilities and work and family and all of that, and just. Go somewhere else, even if it's, even if you can't, you know, fly to Florida, but go to a coffee shop and get in different surroundings and do some of that.
Um, somebody called it think day, I remember who called it a think day. But, um, but like you, anytime I have done that, um, that's where some of my best ideas come from and I feel like. That separation from like your normal environment allows you to kind of like, feel if something feels exciting, you know, if an idea comes up
Kate Ferrian: Yeah.
Toby Myles: Through that process and you're like, Ooh, I actually think I would really enjoy that.
Kate Ferrian: Yeah. Yeah. It's the truth. I, it is. I, I am such a big believer of having time and space to dream and think. Um, I've always been that way. I can remember sitting by myself quite a bit when I was little in my room and, you know, and, and doing things.
But, um, but it's always been an important part of, of my life is. Just getting quiet enough. And I think, again, as women, we don't think that we can find the time to do that. Uh, we, I talked to so many women who are like, I wouldn't even know what it's like to sit by myself for five minutes and be quiet.
Yeah. I don't even think I could. Um, but that's one of the fun things that's come out of the journey as I've had women go, oh my gosh. I ate lunch by myself. I didn't scroll Instagram, I didn't have a podcast on. I didn't, you know, I, I just sat there and I, I had lunch and it was fantastic. Yeah. Um, but I do, I think those are the moments where we actually get to start listening to ourselves and hearing ourselves, um, a lot of times for the first time.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah. We definitely need to do more of that. I'm one of those people that, you know, I'm walking and I'm listening to a podcast. I'm eating my lunch and I'm working, you know, and yeah, there was one day a couple weeks ago where I actually like ate my lunch at my own dining room table and I was like, wow, this feels really weird.
Kate Ferrian: Yeah. Yeah. It's, it is, it's incredible. But I, I will always tell people, like, if we have. If we have time to scroll Instagram or LinkedIn, like, I promise you have five minutes to
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Kate Ferrian: Do something that's really good for you. Um, that's, that's kind of soul searching and, and allowing you to hear yourself.
Toby Myles: Yeah, for sure. So, um, I would love for you to tell our listeners where they can find you and connect with you.
Kate Ferrian: Yeah, absolutely. Uh, so a few different ways. One, I have a website, uh, it's. SimplyBecomeIt.com and there's a place on there to book a call. So if anybody wants to chat, we can, um, set up a call to kind of just get to know each other and chat about the journey.
Uh, Instagram @SimplyBecomeIt, and then LinkedIn at Kate Ferrian.
Toby Myles: Awesome. Amazing. Oh my gosh, this has been so good. I absolutely love what you're doing. I mean, your story, I connect with your story. You know, I have kind of a similar journey, but just what you have done with that experience and, and your own journey, but then pouring it into this, um.
I, I don't wanna call it coaching either, because it, it, it, it's so much more than that, even though coaching is a component of it, but it's, it's pretty special. So I appreciate you agreeing to do this and sharing more details about it.
Kate Ferrian: Absolutely. I'm so excited to be here and love, uh, supporting women in any way I can.
And if, even if that's just sharing the story and making other women, uh, letting them know that they're not alone in, in what they're going through.
Toby Myles: Yes.
Kate Ferrian: So thank so much for having me.
Toby Myles: Thank you, Kate.
I.