Hady Méndez went from being taught to stay quiet as a child to leading equality work at Slack and founding Boldly Speaking. In this episode, we talk about how a 2023 layoff became the catalyst for her book, coaching, and speaking career, and why transforming silence into advocacy has become her greatest strength.
Check Out These Highlights:
Hady reflects on her mother’s saying, “Closed mouths don’t let flies in,” and how that lesson in silence shaped her early years and followed her into a 25‑year career in male‑dominated tech and finance.
She shares how being the youngest of four sisters pushed her to carve out her own identity, always looking for ways to do things differently and stand out.
We talk about her mission work in Bolivia, teaching incarcerated women to find their voice, and how that experience connected directly to her later work in equality and leadership.
Hady also describes her time as head of equality at Slack, and how she shifted from quietly waiting her turn to actively advocating for herself; a transformation that became the foundation of her bestselling book.
Her story is a powerful reminder that underestimated professionals can thrive when they own their voice, and that belonging and inclusion lead to stronger teams, better products, and more authentic leadership.
About Hady Méndez:
Hady Méndez is a bestselling author, leadership coach, and founder of Boldly Speaking. She helps underestimated professionals find their voice and claim their place at the table, drawing on her decades of experience in tech, finance, and equality leadership.
Connect with Hady:
🌐 Website: https://www.boldlyspeakingllc.com
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hadymendez
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/calladitanomorebook
📑 Substack: https://hadyunfiltered.substack.com
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About Me: https://tobymyles.com/about/
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Guys, I hope you're ready for this one because there is a lot of story packed into one conversation My guest today is Hady Méndez, bestselling author, leadership coach, and founder of Boldly Speaking. In this episode, we talk about a saying Hadi's mom repeated to her her whole childhood, "Closed mouths don't let flies in," and how that early lesson in staying quiet followed her into a 25-year career in male-dominated tech and finance spaces. We talk about the layoff in 2023, the mission work in Bolivia teaching incarcerated women to find their voice, and eventually becoming head of e- equality at Slack. One of my favorite parts of our conversation was hearing how she turned quietly waiting her turn into actively advocating for herself, and how that shift became the entire foundation for her book. You're in for a real treat today, so let's get into it.
Toby Myles: Hey, Hady. Welcome to the podcast.
Hady Méndez: Hola.
Toby Myles: I'm excited for this conversation. I'd like to share how we know each other, because I always find it interesting all of the sort of connections that we have and who, who might have introduced us or where we might have met, either in real life or online. And you and I talked about this the first time that we actually got on ca- on a call, but you were somebody that actually reached out to me via email before we were ever connected anywhere else.
Mm-hmm. And, uh, which is not unusual. I get a lot of people reaching out to me via email. But it- I would say 9 times out of 10, maybe 8 times out of 10, the person reaching out about the podcast is clearly not a fit, or they're pitching a man for the podcast, which obviously that's not a fit 'cause we're talking about Her Origin Stories.
But for whatever reason, I read your email instead of deleting like I normally do, and I just was fascinated by your story right from the start. And I just wanna say that because, uh, not to encourage listeners to just randomly send me stories, which you can, but it's just, it was just su- such an exception.
And there's so many interesting things that I can't wait to get into about your story. And so, um, so here we are. So I'm gonna kick things off by asking you if you could take us back to a moment in time, or maybe it's, like, more than one moment that you feel like really kinda put you on the path that you're on right now.
Hady Méndez: Hmm. I guess there probably were multiple moments. I would say probably the most recent one for sure was my layoff in 2023. Mm-hmm. So getting laid off in 2023 set in motion everything about what I'm doing today, like my business, doing the speaking engagements, doing the coaching, writing my book, doing my LinkedIn shows, everything pretty much.
'Cause, 'cause then I decided, like, I'm just gonna do what I like and what I wanna do.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: Um, but I would say probably really the thing that set it in motion was being the youngest daughter. So I'm the youngest out of four sisters, and I feel like, this is only in retrospect, obviously I didn't know it when I was a kid.
Sure. Yeah. But in retrospect, I would say that I spent a lot of time and energy trying to do things differently than my sisters, because there were three people that were doing everything before me. Right. And so I needed to be, you know, find a way to do it different or to make it special, otherwise my mother and father had already seen it be done four times-
so it was, or three times before I got there. Mm-hmm. So it was like, "That's not that interesting, Hadi. Like, we've been there, done that." So, like, I always tried to do it, I don't know, something, like a little twist or- Mm-hmm ... something special or, you know. I don't know, even, like, going to college, like, I was the first one to actually stay on campus.
Okay. And, you know, that was not really something that my mother or, or father really were hoping that I would do. But I found a way to get it paid for, and I, you know, if that was the only thing standing between me and doing it was allegedly the money, I said, "Okay, then I'll, I'll find a way to get it paid for."
Yeah. Then I got it paid for, and it was like, okay, well, now you can't say no because- Yeah ... you told me that was the only reason I couldn't do it. And so yeah, I, and I feel like I, I'm still like that today. Like, someone was telling me the other day, "Do you reuse your content?" And I was like, "Sometimes, but not a lot," because I like fresh things.
I like to think about, like, being creative and be like, "Well, how can I do it different though?" Yeah. You know? Like, I, I'm, I'm always looking for that w- how do I make something special or stand out?
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: And I think that's still part of my character very much.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I love that. I love the idea that you really were, at a young age, were trying to kinda establish your own identity.
Um, I mean, I chuckle a little. I'm, I'm a younger sister, but not youngest of, not the youngest, I'm s- second, but I know what it's like to have an older sister who, in our family, she was, like, the g- the good one. She followed the rules. She was the smart one. She was very clear about the things that she was good at and, you know, the traditional path of going to college and whatever, and I was just, like, the opposite.
I was floundering, and I was creative- Mm-hmm ... and had no idea what I wanted to do, and I was silly and goofy. And honestly, I just feel like my parents just probably, like, you know, said a prayer every day and just hoped- ... that I would turn out okay, uh, which, you know, here I am. Look at you now. So I th- I think it's fine.
But- I, I think that your story is so relatable, right? Like, of course we're all individuals, we all wanna stand out. But in your situation it was really very unique in that, like, what can I do that is just uniquely mine? Mm-hmm. A- and so, um, so before we... I wanna get back to the layoff, 'cause I know that was kind of pivotal.
What, uh, when you were in school, what did you study and what did you think you were gonna do in college and after?
Hady Méndez: Yes. So I will say though, like a, a footnote, that I wanted to be a writer when I was a little kid. Okay. So there's a, there's actually like a poem or something that I wrote, or like a short story, and it was like, "Should I be a poet or sh- you know, some- or should I be a writer?"
I forget. It was like a, a something that rhymed, and, and I, I said... It actually was like, "What should I be when I grow up?" And then it was like- Mm-hmm ... should I be a social worker? Should I be this? And, and but in the list was like being a poet and being a writer, so it was definitely on my shortlist. It
Toby Myles: was there.
Hady Méndez: It was there somewhere, but of course it w- they, they shook it out of me, so then- ... I w- had no, like, desire to do that. And I remember when I was in, um, high school, I d- or actually it was probably right before I went to high school. I was good at math. That was, like, my strength was math and like, um, probably like logical thinking, and so my mother encouraged me to pursue like a computer science type of degree, and that's in fact what I did.
But it was like computer science within the school of business, so it was called computer information systems. And this is, we're talking about the '80s now, so, so that's what it was called then. Yeah. I don't know if that major still exists. And I liked it. It was... I, I, one of the things I liked about it was that it was pretty benign.
Like, I felt like it didn't hurt anybody. It was just like- Mm-hmm ... you know, you're just using the... You're just creating, writing programs and doing reports, and people are making decisions. And it's like kind of just like... I don't know, I kind of felt like it was, um, yeah, I ki- I kinda liked that part of, of it being like something that wasn't very harmful or controversial or anything.
It was just kind of like, "It's just a job." Yeah. And you know, and it ended up being like a really good field to go into. It was quite popular. Um, I ended up getting hired by a, like a major accounting firm. Uh, it was called Anderson Consulting at the time, and they were like building out their systems integration consulting, like, line of business, and so that's what I joined.
And, and they're known as Accenture today, so if people are wondering- Okay, mm-hmm ... like where they went, that's, they're, they're called Accenture now. And, um, so I started off my career as a consultant, and then I just did a lot of tech work within financial services firms. So I was mostly based in New York, and that makes a lot of sense that I would be doing tech and financial services since I was New York City based.
Sure. Yeah.
Toby Myles: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, for sure.
Hady Méndez: And, and I liked it quite a bit. You know, like I said, it was a... I was good at, like naturally good at it, and it just- Mm ... didn't see... It was just like a no-fuss kinda major. I minored in religious studies, which is- Mm ... kind of an odd thing to study, but I went to a Catholic university in the, in the Bronx, and- Like, we had, like, a core set of religious studies requirements, and you just needed to take, like, a couple more classes and you could, like, get a minor in it.
So I was like, "Okay, I'll just do that." And there were a lot of fun classes. Like, I remember taking, like, a peace studies course, which was kind of fun. And I think, um, w- w- I studied, like, Native American, like, I don't know, rituals or something. I forget what it was, but it was like- Mm-hmm ... just kind of like, I don't wanna say goofy, but, like, it wasn't, like, traditional religion.
It was like-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Hady Méndez: like, interesting stuff. So I, I'm, I'm really glad that I, that I did it, 'cause I, I liked it. It was a- Yeah ... it, it kind of was the yin and yang. I, I think the story- I was gonna
Toby Myles: say.
Hady Méndez: Yeah. The story of my life is yin and yang. Like, I always need a little something to ground me. Mm-hmm. And I feel like the computer stuff was just, like, very non-emotional.
It was just like blah. Yeah. And then the religious studies was, like, fun and interesting and like, wow, that's so cool. And I think I always needed that, like, balance.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Uh, I think, too, that just... that you knew at a young age that you were probably doing a career where y- you would be able to find a job, so in some ways it was probably very practical to go into that, whereas I think a lot of times people rebel against that, right?
They don't wanna do the, the practical thing. Uh, and so, uh, do you remember, like, ever getting, like, y- your parents' blessing on like, "Yeah, this is what I'm gonna do," and, you know, having them h- give their input on whether they thought that was the right move for you? Or were they not, like, really involved to that extent?
Hady Méndez: For the, for the tech work-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Hady Méndez: that I did? Yeah, yeah. Oh, they loved it. Like, that- Yeah ... like my mom was, like, all about it. They were... My, my mother herself didn't graduate from high school, didn't go to college, didn't have a profession. Mm-hmm. But she very much, uh, expected all the four of us, we were four girls, she expected all of us to have professions and go to college and everything.
So-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Hady Méndez: I was, you know, checking the boxes. I was on track. Um, I had a very good job. You know, it was a nice salary. Um, you know, I had, like, a corporate card. I was traveling for work. You know, I was... It was a very nice job. Yeah. And, um, I, I'm sure she was very proud of me. My dad probably knew less about what I did.
Like, I, I feel like in general they prob- they, neither of them probably knew what I did. Yeah. 'Cause, like, people would ask, like, "What does Hari do?" And my mother's like, "She works with computers." It's like-
Toby Myles: Yeah. ...
Hady Méndez: the whole world works with computers. Mm-hmm. But, but okay. Uh, but, but anyway, uh, yeah, I think they, I think they were proud that all of us ended up being professionals.
Like, I have one sister that, that was a social worker. She's retired now. My other sister was an engineer- Mm-hmm ... an industrial engineer. My other sister was an account- is an accountant, and then me doing the tech work. So I feel like we all ended up having, like, nice professions, getting advanced- Yeah
degrees, certifications, all the things. So I think we, I think we made them proud.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like it. And, um, I'm just curious because, like, tech is not my thing. You know, I'm the, the one that gets very frustrated and flustered when things don't work, even sometimes the basic things. I- is... Did you feel like you were...
Was it male-dominated, do you feel like? Or was it- Oh, sure ... or was there pr- Yes. Yeah. That's what I thought. Oh, for
Hady Méndez: sure. Yeah, yeah. 1,000%.
Toby Myles: Yeah. And was it- Very male-dominated.
Hady Méndez: It was, it's, like, the bro culture is real.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: Yeah. Yeah. And, um, I also feel as, like, a, a woman of color, I'm a Latina, and I also was often the only Latina in the room too, so it was kind of a double-edged sword for me.
Mm-hmm. So I feel like, you know, yes, I was the one, the, the, the only in a lot of the spaces that I occupied, but I was legit good at what I did, so I feel like, um, a lot of the engineers and tech people I know, so not, not counting salespeople, which is a whole different animal. Mm-hmm. But if you just focus on, like, people that are, like, doing programming or, like, product development, I feel like- It's a, it's a crowd that, yes, is very male-dominated, but also, like, you earn people's respect if you're actually smart and good at what you do.
Yeah. So I, I never felt like people were like, "Well, who is... What is she doing here?" Like, you know- Right ... they were like, "Yeah. Oh yeah, Hadi's good. It's good- Yeah ... that she's here 'cause she actually knows what she's talking about."
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: So I, I, I did okay.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: And then, but sales is different 'cause sales is a lot, a lot, I think, sales is more like what do you look like and, you know- Mm-hmm
um, that w- yeah, I think what you look like and especially 'cause you're, lots of times you're doing entertaining, so you're taking people to dinner and all that- Mm. Yeah, yeah ... so like, you have to have, like, more in common. You have... Like, if people start saying like, "I'm, I'm a skier, and I'm in Vail all the time- Right
and uh," and you're like, "I don't know anything about that. I've never- Yeah ... been on a ski in my life," which is a true story for me. But, like, you know, then it's hard. I still found ways to relate to people, but I had to really, you know, try very hard because I wasn't probably a traditional salesperson. Yeah.
But I ended up being good at that, too- Yeah ... as it turned
Toby Myles: out. Yeah. I mean, sometimes it just comes down to actually just, like, being an actual human, like, being... Noticing other people, listening to what they're saying-
Hady Méndez: Yes ...
Toby Myles: having real conversations, not spending the whole time thinking about what you're gonna say next, but actually being fully engaged, I think is...
I, I've done minimal amount of sales, aside from my own business, but minimal amount of sales in the health and fitness industry. Mm-hmm. And, uh, I always felt like that was easy 'cause that was something I was always interested in. But it was... I remember, you know, in my training it was always so important to just not, like, project what my goals were for the client- Mm
but really, like, what are their goals. Yes. And that really means just, like, closing my mouth and listening.
Hady Méndez: So. Listening, yeah. A lot of listening. A lot of deep listening. A lot of
Toby Myles: listening. Yeah, yeah.
Hady Méndez: Yeah. And also, like you said, authen- like, authentically caring. Yeah. You know? And, and not everybody does, and I think- No
customers usually can tell who, who really cares- ... and who's just trying to s- get a contract signed. Yeah, yeah. And I was, I tried my best never to be one of those people that was like, you know, like the, the, what is it? The car salespeople or, you know, just like- Oh my gosh. ... push, pushing, pushing things. Like, and in fact, I, I, I was known for being like, "I actually don't think you should buy that.
Like, you don't need that right now." Mm-hmm. "You should wait. Let, wait till- Mm-hmm ... like, the next time, like, when we have another rollout or the product gets released next year," or, you know, w- we don't have that yet. Or, like, people would be like, "When are you gonna get it?" And I remember, like, I had a manager who'd be like, "We're gonna...
That's the, the next release," and it was like, it was not true. Like, we all- Yeah ... we all sat around the room and we were like, "Oh my God, he just like flat out lied." Mm-hmm. "That's, like, so not true." And I was, I was never one of those people. So it was very important for me, if I was gonna do that job, and I did like sales, was to do it with integrity- Sure
and, like, being an, a, an honest, you know, um, per- Person who was gonna, you know, treat people with respect and, and not, um, put my needs before theirs.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah. And I think you, you mentioned it, pe- customers can tell, clients can tell, right? Mm-hmm. And so, uh, their, their consumers are so savvy now that, uh, they can see right through, uh, you know, when you're not being honest, truthful.
You know, I think they can see through it. And I, I had to laugh when you mentioned, like, car salesmen, 'cause we- I had... My husband just bought a car, and h- honestly, like, I understand why I and he keep our cars, you know, for over 100,000 miles. As long as he can. Because nobody wants to go through that again.
Hady Méndez: Oh my God, I remember- Terrible ... I remember when I was married, my ex-husband's grandpa came with us to, for, like to check out a car, and he was like, "Ah," you know. But like, he was older. And uh, and I remember, like, the, he told the, the car guy was, like, blowing smoke up our, you know, like really- ... painting a, a picture.
And he's like, "Oh, don't bullshit a bullshitter." And it was just, like, me and my husband, ex-husband laughed so hard, 'cause it was, like, so fu- And the guy, even the sales guy was like, "This is great." Yeah. Like, "Who brought him? Whose idea was it to bring him? This guy is blowing up my spot." But it was really funny.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So okay, so were you, uh, still with Anderson when you got laid off? Oh, no, no, no. Or did you stay... Okay. That was my, that was my
Hady Méndez: first job.
Toby Myles: Okay. That was a long time ago. So take, so then kinda take us from that starting point to how your career evolved, and then ultimately, um, get us to the point where you got laid off, because I know once that happened, like, all these other things opened up for you, and I wanna make sure we dig into all that stuff.
Hady Méndez: Okay. So I st- I worked at Anderson when I got out of school. I was there for like three years, and then I worked for another, like, I would call them a consult... They were, like, a benefits consulting company. And I, and I was doing tech work for them. And then I went and I worked for, um, two banks, um, not a, like a retail bank, but like kinda business to business.
So I worked for JPMorgan Chase on the, like, home finance side, so it was like mortgages and home equity. Um, did, like, a lot of ops work and supporting, you know, tech initiatives. And then that was pro- it was probably at Chase where I started to move into more people-facing stuff, so I was, like, doing project management, and then I was, like, a program manager.
So I was, like, kind of leaving the tech stuff behind and doing some other type of work. Mm-hmm. And then I moved to a company that BNY Mellon owned, um, and I worked for, like, a s- the subsidiary of BNY Mellon, and there was when I was a product manager, and then I started to do more business development type work, and then I, like, legit went into sales.
I was doing sales work, sales support and sales work. And you know, it was really good, and I was, like, responsible for, like, all the non-US clients. And I really liked it. I liked being customer-facing. I liked traveling, and I liked working with non-US customers, 'cause I felt like- I, I didn't like how other people would treat, like, non-US people.
Like, you know, they were like- Yeah ... "Oh, I don't understand what he's saying." It's like, well, let, let's take a minute and let's ask him to repeat himself and- Yeah ... then we can understand. Yeah. Like, so I was like a very caring, like, "Oh, say more about that" and- Mm-hmm ... "Okay, that, that sounds great." And you know, like I would listen and, and like s- I'll speak slower so to encourage them to p- speak slower so that we could- Sure
understand each other or whatever. Like culture, I liked, like, learning about other cultures and being in other cultures and everything. And so that worked out really well for me. And I got to actually, I, I mentioned that I'm Latina. I'm, I'm Puerto Rican specifically. And I used to go- Mm-hmm ... to Puerto Rico on business all the time, which like hands down, like a dream come true to be able to do business on the island, so that was like really fun.
I was there- Yeah ... like all the time. And um, so yeah, I did that for many years. I was probably between JPMorgan Chase and BNY Mellon, I was there like 15 years combined. Okay. So quite a bit of time. Yeah. And then I ended up around year 20, I left th- um, the company where I was working and I went on mission.
I went on a mission trip. And I went overseas. Oh, wow. Yeah, I went overseas for two years, and I lived in, um, Bolivia, in the country of Bolivia, in a city called Cochabamba. And um, I worked with incarcerated and form- formerly incarcerated women for two years when I was there, and it was really fun. I used to go to jail a couple times a week.
And um, and then I also wor- like worked with an NGO that was supporting the women when they got out of jail. And so I was like a life skills instructor there.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: And funny enough, I was teaching them, we w- I taught them a speech class. So the, the, the- Oh,
Toby Myles: wow.
Hady Méndez: Yeah. Whi- which, you know, now full circle. But- Yeah
but the speech class that I was teaching them wasn't really so much about the speech, it was more like having them own their voice, 'cause so many, it, it's a very malesho- male-dominated, male chauvinist country, like culture. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And a, a lot of those women just really didn't have a voice. Hmm. So the whole point of the speech class that I taught was really just to get them to say like, "What's your dream?
And what are the things that you hope for? What do you want for your family? What do you want for yourself? Where do you see yours?" You know, and, and so you know, like giving them an opportunity to just even dream and say it out loud. So, so that's- Yeah ... all that was about. But I did do that. And then when I came back, I worked at a school in New York City in the South Bronx
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm
Hady Méndez: And I was a community school director.
So it's kind of like social worker-ish type of work, but I did that- Mm-hmm ... for three years and then I decided to go back into tech. And I went to- Okay ... Cloudflare first. Um- Okay ... people might have heard of Cloudflare. They do a lot of, like, security.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: Um, and then, and then I went to Salesforce. Okay. And then Salesforce, I had two different jobs.
One was still customer-facing, so I did customer-facing for, like, 20 years.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: And then I decided to do equality work, and I was the head of equality for a company that Salesforce had just acquired, and that company was Slack. So I was the head of equality at Slack-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Hady Méndez: which is kind of a big deal. And that was the last corporate role that I had.
I think we all know Slack. Yeah. Yeah, everybody knows Slack.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah, so that was your last corporate role?
Hady Méndez: Yes.
Toby Myles: Yes. Yeah. So, um, one of the things that you talk about or you have talked about is, and I think you just touched on it, this idea of, um, helping, like, underestimated professionals, and that is not a term that I have ever s- really seen used before.
I understand- I understand what you mean. I think I understand what you mean, but I would like you to kind of talk about that a little bit more in connection with, like, m- maybe the work you were doing, um, at Slack or even in Bolivia- Mm-hmm ... and kinda how it, it plays into the work that you're doing right now.
Hady Méndez: Yeah. It's, it's kind of like one of those words, like unhoused.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: Or, you know, where, where it's like, um, you describe people not in a way that I think, um, I... Well, and I, I'll just say instead of saying like, "Not in a way," I'll say in a way that I feel is, like, more honoring them as- Mm-hmm ... people. Mm-hmm. And, you know, a lot of people say, use the word underrepresented.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: And the truth is that a lot of underrepresented people, uh, the, the, in the numbers, there are actually, there are a lot of people. Like, as an example, Latino is probably, uh, underrepresented, but, like, 20% of the US population right now is Latino. So one in five- Yeah ... Americans is Latino, so it's like we're, we're, we're not that underrepresented.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: But, but, but we definitely are underestimated, and we're, you know, missing out on a lot of opportunities to advance, to, um, you know, move into, in the context of corporate America, into more senior leadership roles. Mm-hmm. That was something that I experienced firsthand. You know, my lived experience was that, you know, it was hard to, you know, ra- rise through the ranks.
Sure. And, um, there w- and there weren't a lot of us as I was rising through the ranks. There were less and less people that looked like me, and that- Yeah ... sometimes was just other women, and sometimes it was people of, like, Black and brown people or, you know- Mm-hmm ... et cetera. Mm-hmm. But I do feel, I like underestimated because it's almost like everybody.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: I think in, in a lot of ways a lot of peop- uh, almost everybody is underestimated. Mm-hmm. And so that includes a big universe of people. Mm-hmm. And I really just want everybody to feel like they belong. Like, that's essentially the work that I'm still doing. It is still, like, DEI work, but, but n- but nobody calls it that anymore.
Right. So it's still, like, how do we belong? How do we have s- same access? How are we still making sure that everybody can contribute, that everybody can do their best work, that the environment is such that, you know, people wanna show up and they wanna be part of the conversation? You know, so many people bring a very unique perspective, but if they don't feel safe to share that perspective, the company misses out, that person misses out, and the products are not as good as they can be.
So, like, the, the case, like, I would say the business case for, like, making feel, making people feel, like, making everyone feel like they're included and like they belong really just means that we get better products and better services. Sure. Yeah.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: So that's the- Yeah ... work that I do.
Toby Myles: Yeah. And I think that it definitely takes, uh, special leadership to recognize that each person has something that they can bring to the company, the team- What have you.
Uh, but it's, but too often I think leadership just, it's just a blanket, you know, there's one way to succeed
Hady Méndez: Yeah
Toby Myles: Everybody kinda needs to do the same thing and rise- Fall in line ... at the same level, fall in line. I mean, I- Yeah ... I don't remember if we talked about this before, but my younger brother, who has since passed, had Down syndrome.
And so I grew up in a family where, you know, he had very different benchmarks, but he still had them, and he still lived a very full life because my parents exposed him to all possible things that he could, right? Love that. So he wasn't gonna necessarily go to college, um, wasn't necessarily gonna learn to drive or own a home, but he moved out of my parents' house and he lived in a group home with peers just like him, and he had a job that he could walk to, and had a social life that put my social life to shame.
He was always busy doing things, right? And I just think, like, that is another form of that population being underestimated, right? Like- Yes ... say they, people with learning disabilities can have not just jobs, but they can have careers too.
Hady Méndez: Yes, yes. I have a friend who's autistic, and he, he and I get along great, and he's, he's a white man, he's a white male, but he, like, whenever I post something, he's like I don't know if you realize, but I feel like 1000%...
I 1000% agree with that. Like, that's me too. Yeah. You know? So he really does see himself in that space. The... What you're saying is 100% too true, that he feels like he's not given a fair shake, and people just put him in a box. Mm-hmm. And, you know, I've had that experience too as a Latina, and I'm sure other people, you know, with other identities, that's what it is, is that people put you in a box, and then it's so hard- Yeah
to get out of that box because to... the bias just is, you know, f- is pretty strong. Yeah. And so you gotta work, you know, sometimes, as they say, twice as hard to just be like, "That's not me. This is me." And I, and I feel like- Mm-hmm ... you know, if I think about the trajectory of my career, I took in a lot of what people said was me.
So when they put me in a box, I was like, "Oh, I'm, I'm in this box," you know? I'm, I'm not, I'm not- Yeah ... like, ready to be the next whatever the next level was. If it was, like, manager or, like, director, VP, whatever, I was like, "Yeah, I'm not ready yet," you know? Mm-hmm. It was like... But then I would see, like, my peers and I'm like, "That, that person's ready?
I, I... If that person's ready, I think I'm ready." I remember, like, starting to question it and be like, "I don't even know if I believe that anymore." Yeah. Because, like, that doesn't even make sense now if, if, like, as I'm seeing people that started after me- Mm-hmm ... get ahead of me. And I'm like, "Then I don't think it's that I'm not ready."
And, and the fun, funny, not funny part is I remember managers telling me, "Oh, just keep doing what you're doing. You're doing a great job." But it's... But I wouldn't get promoted. And I'm like, "What's happening? Am I in- Yeah ... the Twilight Zone?" You know? Yeah.
Toby Myles: You just keep doing what you're doing and you will never go anywhere other than-
Hady Méndez: Yeah
right
Toby Myles: where you are. Yeah.
Hady Méndez: Yeah. So you really gotta break that cycle. That's really- Mm-hmm ... I think what it takes, and that's kind of in the end what, like, my book is about and a lot of the work that I do now is, like, like, like, no, you gotta take it in your own hands type of thing.
Toby Myles: Yes, for sure. And I would imagine, too, and we are going to talk about the book.
I'm super excited to talk about the book. But also, I think, like, you s- maybe didn't nec- correct me if I'm wrong, but maybe didn't necessarily have role models that you could relate to th- where you could see them kinda breaking through those b- those barriers and glass ceilings and things like that. So you kind of had to find that within yourself to really, like, say, "Well, wait a minute," like, "Why am I, you know, being held back?"
Or, "Why can't I do these things?" Right?
Hady Méndez: That's right. That's 100% true, and I, I, I... You know, it's funny you say that, but, like, I remember, you know, I... The first company that I worked for, there was, like, a Latina, like, manager.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: And I remember when I met her, I was like, "Oh my God," you know, "That's, like, what I wanna be."
Like, she was, like, my #goals kinda thing. Yeah. And, um, you know, I, I... She, like, informally was my mentor for s- for- Yeah ... for the time that I was there 'cause, like, as soon as I met her, I was like, "Oh my God," like, "Can you coach... Can you be my mentor? Can you coach me?" Yeah. "Can you be, like, all the things?" And she was like, "Sure, sure," you know- Yeah
"Absolutely." And so- I do think that's nice. And then, you know, subsequent to that, that w- when I first started, which... Or, like, went into corporate, which was in the early '90s, ERGs probably were just starting to be a thing. Mm-hmm. Uh, they weren't really everywhere yet. And the, like, my first company where I worked, we didn't, we didn't have ERGs.
But eventually I did work for a company that had, had ERGs. Mm-hmm. And I think that's, like, one of the really cool aspects of being part of an employee resource group, is that you get to meet people that share your identity. That could be, you know, maybe have worked in the company longer. So m- maybe they're not necessarily higher ranking, but if they've been there longer, there's something that they can teach you.
Because there are- Yeah ... lots of unwritten rules. And you're like, "But how come I'm not getting promoted?" They're like, "Girl, you don't even know. Like, this is, this is what it takes to get promoted." Mm. "You need to get your manager to, like, be advocating for you. And you need, like-" Mm-hmm ... "three other people that are, like, director level to be saying..."
You know, like, nobody knows this- Yes ... but, like, somebo- somebody, you know, like, the people who've been around for a while, they start to be able to share those unwritten rules with other, you know, em- newer employees. And then sometimes people are more senior, and they can coach other people. Mm-hmm. And, you know, for a long time, I was always like, "I'm looking for a coach.
I'm looking for a coach." And finally one day, I was like, "You know what? I think I'm high enough that I can start helping other people." Like- Mm-hmm ... you know, I was kind of in that middle management place. But I was far along enough that I, I was looking back and I was like, oh, there's actually people that I can help right now.
Yeah. So I should start helping those people even as I'm trying to get other people to help me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And that's, I think, how it should be done.
Toby Myles: Oh, absolutely. And it's, it comes back to relationships, right? Like, in business, a- anywhere really, like, it comes back to making those connections and building those relationships, uh, that are just based on- you know, openness and sharing.
If I have something and I can help you, it doesn't take anything away from me. It doesn't mean- That's right ... I get less of the pie, that whole pie thing, right? It doesn't- Yeah ... I don't get less of the pie because I give you a big slice of pie and I show you, you know, what I know to help you along. And I just, I wish, I think, I think women, and I know for sure, like, women that I've had on my podcast definitely get that concept, but I don't necessarily think everybody gets that concept.
That's right. And like, there's, it's, we don't have to compete with each other. There's enough to... I mean, obviously, like, two people are up for one job, like, that's a whole different thing. But I mean, in the big picture, like, we can help each other out and we can all succeed.
Hady Méndez: Yeah. I actually... It's funny you talk about this.
It's, this is something that I feel very strongly about and I talk about it in the book a lot, what you're talking about, this notion of there's enough resources and opportunities for everybody. Mm-hmm. And I even talk about a time where, uh, my colleague and I were both up for promotion- Mm-hmm ... and so, but he wasn't, like, he and I were friends.
By, by that time we were fr- quite friendly. And, you know, we were led to believe that it would only be one of us. It was gonna be one person that would get promoted. And we're like- Mm-hmm ... "You know what? Well, let's just help each other," was what- Yeah ... we decided. And then we were sharing, like, best practices.
Like, "Oh, this is what I do to track my client stuff, and, and this is the report that I send to them every month." And we were just, like, sharing stuff, and we're like, we were both, like, being excellent performers, which, P.S., is a very good thing for the company. Yeah,
Toby Myles: yeah.
Hady Méndez: And don't you know, we both got promoted.
Toby Myles: Oh my
Hady Méndez: gosh. Like, in the, in the end there was, uh, enough for both of us, and we both got- Yeah ... promoted. But, like, I think if, you know, that could have gone very differently, and we- Sure ... both could have been like, "Er," and then- Yeah ... who knows if any of us would have got promoted, 'cause we just- Yeah ... would've been, like, that toxic, you know, competition mode all the time.
Yeah. And instead we were just like, "Well, we're both just gonna be exceptional employees and you're gonna have to make a decision or figure it out."
Toby Myles: Yeah,
Hady Méndez: yeah. And we both got promoted. Yeah. Yeah. So that was, like, a good story.
Toby Myles: Well, I know that you have a belief that what is meant for you will not pass you by, and I feel like that is a perfect example of that, right?
Like, you were doing what you felt like was the right thing to do regardless of what the outcome was gonna be, and it turned out- Yeah ... to, to benefit both of you.
Hady Méndez: 100%. And, and that, that, uh... So in my book I have what are called refranes in Spanish, but in English it's just sayings. And, like, it- that, that, what yous just said, uh, uh, what's meant for you will not pass you by, in Spanish is lo que pa' ti nadie te lo quita.
And what, and, and w- the way, kind of the context or how I describe it is, like, that's what helps me sleep at night. Yeah. Because I already know that there's things happening. The universe is getting itself together so that there are things that are gonna come my way. Mm-hmm. And, you know, it's really nice when, when that is evident, like, that it keeps, uh, that I guess that keeps happening so, like, you're like, "Yeah, see, it does, it, it...
There are things that are conspiring in my favor." Like, you know, and I, and I get to see- Mm-hmm ... evidence of it. But, like, sometimes you don't see evidence for it, of it, for a very long time. Right. That happens too. Yes. Like, when I was, like, in my job search and it was, like, nine months later and I'm like, "My goodness."
But in the end I still think that it was like, that wasn't my destiny. Yeah. I was, I think I was meant to start my own business and write this book and just go on- Mm-hmm ... this completely other path. And I still think that l- what was meant for me is, did not pass me by. Yeah. But it just wasn't a job like I thought it was.
Yeah. I thought I was supposed to s- you know, keep working. But- Yeah ... in a traditional 9:00 to 5:00 corporate setting. But that's not- Sure ... what happened.
Toby Myles: Yeah. But you stayed open. You, you had some- And ready ... and ready, and some level of faith. And I th- I do think that's so key too, because I know there's, you know, people talk a lot about, like, manifesting, you know, and, and putting, you know, being, having gratitude for what you already have, and all the things around that.
Being, um, having a positive mindset and believing that, you know, the world is an abundant place. But you also have to be ready when those opportunities arise.
Hady Méndez: Yes. I talk about both things in the book. I talk about mani- manifestation and staying ready.
Toby Myles: All right. We need to talk about this book. Because I do wanna point out that, uh, your book is one year old this month.
I don't know what is the exact date. September 15th. But, September 15th. So we're almost to your book baby's month, which you call it a book baby. Mm-hmm. Which I absolutely love. I'm writing a book too, my memoir, and I very much feel like it's a baby.
Hady Méndez: Yes. You give birth.
Toby Myles: Crying and all the things. Um, talk about the book.
Hady Méndez: So it's called Calladita No More: My Latina Journey and the Lessons That Shaped Me. The book is mostly in English. I would say, like, 99% in English, and I use some Spanish words here and there, including in the title, and I think all the chapters also have Spanish words too. Um, I mostly wrote it for a Latina audience, but I think anybody can read it, and I think a lot of the principles and the things that I talk about are quite universal.
Mm-hmm. So I think anybody can read it and take something from it. But I talk about it from my experience as a Latina. Yeah. So I'm, like, sharing some pretty, you know, not so good... Some, some of the stories were not so good. There, there's a good, a very good chapter, chapter... I think it's chapter 10 or 11 is about a good boss that I had- Mm-hmm
and just what made her this, like, amazing boss. And basically- Mm ... it's like I'm giving her flowers for, like, a whole chapter. And, and she's, like, the person that I, like, I model myself after. So- Mm ... so that's, like, a really feel-good chapter. Mm-hmm. But there are some stories that I share that aren't good, and I open it up with one very, like, not good story of something that happened to me that just, you know, was an example of how, you know, these are, this is...
It was a sign of things to come, if I think about it, and it happened to me when I was a consultant, so, like, my first year out of school. Do you want me to tell you the story?
Toby Myles: Well, that's up to you. I think maybe t- tell pieces. I think the book already is gonna be on a lot of people's- ... list to read. But maybe give us enough, but don't give away- Yeah
the whole thing.
Hady Méndez: Okay. So it was something really- not cool that happened to me.
Toby Myles: Okay.
Hady Méndez: And I come, I came to find out after I wrote it, and I shared it in this book, that it happens to a lot of people and a lot of Latinas. Okay. A lot of Latinas are like, "Yep, that happened to me, too." Okay. Some variation of that happened to me.
Mm-hmm. And I even talk- I even heard from a male Latino who told me, who was an attorney, and said, and without giving it away, he was like, "That happened to me." He's like, "I had to stop when I read that because it, like, felt like a sucker punch." Like, just reading that- Oh, wow ... was like, oh. Like, it just took me right back.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: So, so then it turned out that for me, I think it was an ex- an example, a good example of something of, like, how I would struggle and the things that I would encounter along my journey. But also, it turns out that a lot of people were like, "That happened to me." Yeah. And so, like, there was like this Me Too type of thing.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: And, and it's in, it's in my intro, so it's like, I think-
Toby Myles: Okay ...
Hady Méndez: it's a good, it was a good place for that story because people are like, "Well, now I know that, like, this book is relatable, so let me keep- Right ... reading the, let me keep reading what I'm seeing here." Yeah. Um, but yeah. And, and I try to be hopeful.
It's a very hopeful book. Mm-hmm. Um, it's, even though I talk about hard things, I'm always saying like, "Well, what did I learn from that experience?" Because- Yeah ... you know, I went through so many, we all go through so many things, and it's just like, it's not just, if, if we just allow things to happen and we don't learn from them, then hello, we're missing an opportunity.
Yeah. So it's always like- Yep ... this happened.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: And after, you know, maybe in hindsight or maybe after it happened in, in, you know, in retrospect, here's what I learned. Sure. And here's what I did different moving forward. Yeah. So it's always like h- what did I learn, because I wanna share what I learned in the hopes that it's gonna help other people.
And I don't know that it, every single story is gonna be applicable to every single person, but I do imagine and expect that many of the stories are things that people can take back with them and be like, "Wow, yeah." Mm-hmm. "Now I know what to do if that happens to me."
Toby Myles: Yeah. And I think that is the whole beauty of sharing your story is that yeah, n- it's not, maybe it's not relatable to everybody, but it will be related, relatable to a lot of people.
And if your story can connect with and help somebody else along the way, right? 'Cause like, in those moments when we struggle with those hard things- It, it's, like it feels like you're the only one.
Hady Méndez: Yes.
Toby Myles: Like, this could only- It's pretty lonely ... happen to me. It can be very lonely, right? And then like you said, once you get some perspective and start talking about your story and people are, you know, the head nods or you get actual verbal feedback, you realize like, wow, I wasn't as alone as I, I thought in those moments.
Hady Méndez: Yeah. And the truth is also that it doesn't ha- that some of the things that happened to me didn't happen to my colleagues. Like, I would share it and they're like, "Eh, I don't know. Do you really think that happened to you 'cause you're Latina?" And I'm like- Mm-hmm ..., "Yes, I really do think that happened to me 'cause I'm a Latina or 'cause I'm a woman.
I really, really do."
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: And you know, so sometimes, uh, there's a little bit of gaslighting that goes on, that people are like, "Really? I don't know." And I'm- Mm ... and then when I meet other women or other Latinas and they're like, "Yeah, that happened to me, too," then I'm like, "Oh, well then, yeah, I really do... I, I think there was something to it."
But, like, for some, for some period of time, I think people around me didn't necessarily, uh, like, they weren't sold on the fact that things were happening to me for, like, that particular reason- Yeah ... like, in the way- Yeah ... that I identified. And so sometimes, you know, then I had to second guess myself and I would be like- Mm-hmm ...,"Oh, well maybe I'm making that up, and maybe I am- Mm-hmm
being sensitive. Oh my God- Yeah ... I didn't..." You know? And then, and then something else would happen and I'm like, "Ah, I really don't think I caused that. Like, I'm not sure why this stuff keeps happening." So anyway- Yeah ... I, I, I think it helps- It really helped me especially in that sense when I di- it's not just like sometimes it is isolating, but also it's just like realizing that like across industries, across companies, o- across generations these things have happened to people.
Toby Myles: Sure. Yeah.
Hady Méndez: And that's powerf- a powerful thing to know.
Toby Myles: Yeah,
Hady Méndez: absolutely. 'Cause, you know, I'm, I'm o- a lot older than a lot of my readers. Yeah. And some of them, like I've heard through book clubs, they're like, "We can't believe that this was happening in the ni- you know, in the, the- Oh ... the previous, the previous," what is it, century?
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: In the 1990s. In the old days. My goodness, yeah. "Wow. I can't believe- Mm-hmm ... that was even happening back then." I'm like, "Yes, us and the dinosaurs. We were all- Yeah. ... like this was all happening at the same time." But yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So sometimes they're really quite surprised that I'll share something that they're experiencing, and they would
They kind of expected that like ... Or that maybe they thought it was a new thing.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: Or they just didn't think that like I went through that too. And I'm like, "It was even worse back then 'cause there was, you know, kinda less of us, so to speak."
Toby Myles: Mm.
Hady Méndez: And that was in two very, two male-dominated industries. Sure.
Financial services and
Toby Myles: tech. Yeah. Oh my gosh, okay. Well, you've given us enough that now all of us are gonna grab the book.
Hady Méndez: I hope so.
Toby Myles: Um, I know. I am for sure. So t- but talk to me about the name so we can understand where the name comes from.
Hady Méndez: Yeah, so Calladita means quiet or silent.
Toby Myles: Okay.
Hady Méndez: And there's a s- so refranes or sayings are quite popular in Spanish.
Mm-hmm. In, in, you know, in the Latino culture. And there's a saying in Spanish that's, it goes like this, Calladita te ves más bonita. And that translates to loosely, you look prettier when you're quiet. But it is- Oh my gosh ... a gendered term. Yeah. So it is definitely targeted at women. Yeah. It's, it's feminine.
Yeah. So it's not... But it... So it's, it's meant for women. So women and girls. Mm-hmm. So women and girls look prettier when they're quiet and that's how- Wow ... many of us grew up. And so it's not a nice refran. And- Yeah ... you know, um, I don't know how many people take it to heart or, you know, like officially. Like for me, I definitely learned in my home that there were things that w- we shouldn't say outside of the house, and that we should be very thoughtful before we say anything.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: You know? And that, and I carried that with me into corporate. So like there were a lot of meetings where I sat and I was like, "Unless somebody asks me, I'm probably not gonna offer my opinion," because that's how I grew up. I grew up- Mm ... you know, like unless... If, if, if I didn't ask you your opinion, you don't need to like give it.
Or also like if someone is like more senior than you or, you know, uh, uh, then you have to be like respectful and not like disagree with them publicly. Yeah. Like things like that where- Mm-hmm ... it's like, you know, buenos modales, good manners. But at the same time- Mm ... like that's not really a thing in corporate.
Like yeah, you should be respectful of your colleagues, but you sh- you should be... In the, even in the context of like disagreeing with someone, you should be able to do that in a respectful way. Sure. And you should... Yeah, and you should be able to have an opinion on something that might be different from someone else, and that can also be something, you know, that, that you can do in a respectful way.
So I feel like-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Hady Méndez: even though, um, you know, that it, those teachings and those beliefs, that belief system, really I brought it with me. Yeah. And it's stuff that I had to unlearn in my 20s, you know- Yeah ... real time. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know if everybody does, but for me- Yeah ... that was learning that I needed to do on the job.
Toby Myles: Mm.
Hady Méndez: And I think my career suffered because of it, you know? Mm-hmm. There were times where I should have spoke up and I didn't.
Toby Myles: Sure. Well, you say, and I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna try to read the Spanish version of it, but- ... it tran- translates to closed mouths don't let flies in. So that was something- En boca cerrada no entran
Hady Méndez: moscas.
Toby Myles: Thank you. That was something that w- was, you grew up with, right? So it wasn't just once you got out, um, into a male-dominated, um, career, right?
Hady Méndez: Yeah. I mean, these are, these are, like, very deep-rooted beliefs. Yeah. So, you know, being at work... And, and it didn't, and it didn't help that a, you know, lots of times people were like, "Oh, you know, that person, uh, don't disagree with that person in public 'cause they will, you know, put you out to pasture," or like- Yeah
you know, like, you... Maybe if I tried it once or twice and there was, like, very negative outcomes- Yeah ... I was like, "I'm not doing that again." Mm-hmm. "I'm not taking the risk." Mm-hmm. Like, it's just not worth it to me. And, you know, there was a little bit of people pleasing. That was part of the, that as well. And like I said earlier, I think there was a little bit of also, like, don't rock the boat.
Just be grateful for what you have. There's a lot of these limiting beliefs- Yeah ... that we carry with us. And so-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Hady Méndez: a lot of them translated to be quiet, basically- Yeah ... or just, like, don't, don't speak up. And then Calladita No More, going back to the title, is like, well, we're not gonna be quiet anymore. We actually have things to say, and we're gonna say them- Mm-hmm
and we're gonna advocate for ourselves, and we're gonna take up space, and we're gonna reclaim the power that really we've always had but we, like, kinda gave away to some degree. And- Yeah ... you know, now we- we're gonna claim it back.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Oh, my gosh. So good. Okay. So, uh, just talk a little bit about the writing the book and what this year has been like since you have written the book, 'cause I know you and I talked about this a little bit before about i- it's not enough just to write the book and say that you wrote the book.
It's not. Like, you have such important, strong message i- just within yourself but also in the book. And so what happens once that book is out in the world? Like, what has the past year been like for you?
Hady Méndez: It's been very busy. Um, I would say, like, I got, I had a little... So keeping the baby, um, that, the keeping the, that whole book baby kind of analogy.
Mm-hmm. I had a little postpartum depression. Okay. So I would say, like, about a, about a... And this might happen to you, supposedly. I was talking to my publisher and my book coach, and they're like, "Yeah, that happens to everybody." Okay. But, like, about, within, like, you have the, the launch, and you're like, "Oh, my God, I wrote the book."
Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Here's the book. The book is here." And then you kinda, like, come crashing down, and you're like- Mm-hmm ... "I can't talk about this book anymore." Yeah. "I'm so done with the book. Like, somebody help me. Save me from this book." But you're like, but then that's really when you gotta dig in, and you gotta now get this book into the world, get it into your readers' hands, make sure that you're visiting.
You know, like, you, you might do a, like, a book tour, or you might, like, show up at some author events and some fireside chats and do some stuff with book clubs. And in my case, I do a lot of corporate events that are paid, you know, engagements where people, you know, we're talking about the themes from the book.
Mm-hmm. Um, but, like, yeah, you basically... You know, I wrote an article that, that's on my, uh, book coach's website. But it's about, like, you really gotta love this topic, and you gotta love what your book is about, 'cause if you don't, you are screwed. Like, it's just- Yeah ... like, you gotta, you gotta breathe this thing.
You gotta live this thing. It's gotta be your breakfast, lunch, and dinner, morning, noon, and night-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Hady Méndez: every day of the week. You know, it's just like this is what, this is what you... Like, the book and you kind of are intertwined at this point. Yes, yeah. And this is, this is you. You are the book, and the book is you.
And so, and, and I think selling the book and g- really getting the book into more hands- And for me I had to really take a step back and be like, "I'm not selling the book."
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: I am trying to, you know, communicate how important the message is and, you know, the themes that I think really people can take away, and that, you know, people can feel seen and heard in this book.
And-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Hady Méndez: you know, it's gonna m- inspire you to really take, you know, to own your narrative. And I had to really, like, l- reframe how I was selling the book because- Sure ... selling, just selling the book and getting people to write reviews is just really not that fun. That's- Yeah ... that's a hard thing to do for, you know, a year or two year, three years.
Mm-hmm. So if you look at it a little bit differently and you're just like, how does the book show up in every day, even with current events? How does it tie into that? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. How does it tie into a theme- Yeah ... or, you know, things that are happening in the world? I, I had to, like, really look at it that way.
Yeah. And, and, um, and I had a lot of collaborators. You know, I had a lot of amazing people that helped me, that supported me, that, you know, pumped up the book. Even, like, the day ... I feel like sometimes I was, like, so tired, and then, like, other people were like, "Oh, I just got Haddy's book in the mail." Mm. And then that would, like, end up, you know, getting a lot more sales, and then, you know- Mm-hmm
I was able to kind of ramp back up and show up again. And, you know, so it's been a, like, I guess up and down.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: But, um, it's been a very busy time, 'cause I've done- Yeah ... all the things that I described, like marketing. Um, you know, I've had to do, like, photo shoots with the book. So, you know, you gotta- Mm-hmm
give me fresh content for, like, all the stuff- Yeah ... that you do. And then I ended up starting a show on LinkedIn called Authors Unplugged where I interview other authors, 'cause I- Mm-hmm ... I did that, like, as part of my launch, and I really liked it. Yeah. And so now I interview authors all the time, so, like, that's now it's, like, part of my
Like, every week I'm interviewing s- a different author. Oh, amazing. So, like, that's work. But, but it's fun 'cause I get to talk- Yeah ... about the book as well.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: And so it's just, it's been really nice. Like, I think also for ... I'm a first-time author. Like, from, this is my first solo book.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: And I feel like it takes a little while to also, like, own that title.
Like, I don't know if you identify as an author yet, but, like- Mm ... it, it takes a little while to identify- Sure ... that way, like, really.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: Yeah. And so, like, I feel like I'm, I am kinda in my author era and, like, you know, it's, it's a little dis- Like, it feels a little weird when people are like, "Oh my God, can you sign the book?"
And I'm like- Yeah. ... "Okay." You know, but it's like the whole thing is, like, really weird. It's like this is the book that I wrote, and now someone wants me to sign it. Mm-hmm. And all of it is, feels really strange, but at the same time it's, like, really cool. So-
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: That's amazing ... it's, but it's, I think it's, it's, it's definitely, like- a transformation process that happens- Sure
both with- Sure ... how you view the book and how you view getting it into more hands, and also how you view yourself in the process.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think the thing that you touched on, too, can also be tied to, like, why we start our businesses. Like, you beli- you want to tell a story, but you really believe that your m- message can help other people, and when you stay connected to that, for lack of a better word, we'll call it your why.
You know, why are you- Yes ... writing this book? You, obviously you're writing this book 'cause you wanna write it, but you also believe in the broader impact that this book can make. Yes. And I would imagine that, that staying connected to that throughout all the things that you have to do kind of helps keep you going.
Hady Méndez: 1,000%. That is really, really true. Like, that clarity is very important, and also, like, it needs, you need to be grounded in it, because then it makes everything easier, as opposed to like- Yeah ... "Oh, my God, this is, like, so hard," and- Right ... "Oh, my God, it's so much work." And it's like- Right ... well, no, like, more people are getting to read the book, and more people are being se- Mm-hmm
feeling seen. And, like, I just went to a conference, and I had, like, a long line for, like, two or three hours. Wow. And I'm like, "Oh, my God, people..." And everybody was like, "Oh, my God, I love the cover," and, "Oh, my God, the title's so ni-," you know, like, and I was like, "Are you talk," you know, like, I was like, "Are you talking to me?"
Like, oh, my God, like, I didn't expect that, and it was a little bit- Yeah ... like, I don't know, surprising to me. And at the same time, like, that moment of that, like, you know, whatever those, those things that happened really- Mm-hmm ... motivated me to, like, be excited to be back there the next day. Yeah. It was, like, an ex- two-day expo, and, like, the next day I was, like, so excited to be back 'cause I'm like, oh, my God, I want the line to be long, and I want everybody to, like, wanna take a picture with me, and I wanna sign the book, and, like, personalize what I'm writing.
And it was really nice. And I'm like that, like, people wanted to just take the book. I'm like, "No, you're gonna have to wait on line 'cause I personalize each book." Like, I wanna get- Yeah ... to know my readers, and I wanna, like, tell them which chapter to, like, really dig into- Mm-hmm ... and, like, spotlight the thing that I think is gonna help them the most.
Mm-hmm. So, like, I, I really wanna be connected to my readers.
Toby Myles: Yeah. That's amazing. So, this, I think this is gonna be a hard question, so I hope this doesn't throw you off, because you have so many amazing insights. But for our listeners who are, a lot of them are female entrepreneurs writing books, you know, breaking through boundaries, all the things, uh, Latina, you know, African American, like, across the board, e- you know, the, my audience is very diverse.
Is there one piece of advice you can give to our listeners around, um, just helping them to kind of not let someone else put, um, constraints on them, or boundaries on them?
Hady Méndez: Yeah. I, I talk a lot. I have like a... It's a framework, but it's not really a f- framework, but it's just something that I talk about a lot, and it's like the three Cs, and it's like clarity, um, confidence, and courage.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: And I feel like that's like a really good recipe. If you can like get clear on the things that you want and like have enough confidence to like ask people to... You know, to, to believe that you can do it, and then ask people to help you. Mm-hmm. And then have courage to like go after it and like, especially in the, like when things get hard and it's like, "Well, you're not gonna get promoted this cycle."
It's like, "Well, I still wanna be a director." Yeah. "And I'm still gonna figure out a way to get there. And, you know, maybe I'm delayed by six months, maybe I'm delayed by a year, but I'm gonna reach my goal."
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: And so like sometimes it requires more courage. Sometimes it's gonna rec- require us to go back to, you know, like our purpose.
Yeah. Uh, I think you talked about the why, the purpose. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Like being very clear. Mm-hmm. Like it's like, why is it that I wanna be a VP? Was there like a reason? Is it ju- you know, like- Yeah ... I don't know. I, I had this, I had like a weird goal, and I wanted to be a VP by the time I was 30. That was my goal.
Mm-hmm. And I wanted to make $100,000. Mm-hmm. So I had a goal to make $100,000 and be a VP by the time I was 30, and I reached it. Mm-hmm. But I don't think I would have reached it if I didn't have it as a goal. Yeah. But I was like very clear that, that- Yeah ... that was something that I wanted to achieve.
Toby Myles: Right.
Hady Méndez: And, you know, so I do feel like the clarity- It helps us because we know, like, what, you know, where the destination is.
But I think also it helps, maybe helps us to get clear on the things we don't want as well or the things that are not as important. You know, I don't know. Yeah. Like, it can help us in a lot of different ways. Yeah. And also, I talk a lot about recalibrating. Mm-hmm. Like, don't get married or don't get too stuck on, like, the first idea that you're like, "When I was 22, I wanted to be this thing."
And it's like, girl, you're 45. Like- Yeah. ... maybe that's not the thing anymore. Yeah. So it's like, you know, I, I like what I call recalibrating every cou- I would say probably, like, every quarter. Mm-hmm. 'Cause as a business owner you really gotta stay ahead of things.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: And I'm always, like, reevaluating and being like, is that still a good goal?
Is that still- Sure ... a realistic thing? Is that still the right thing for, like, where things are? Yeah. Do I need to pivot? Do I need to add, like, a different kinda service? What do my clients, what are they really looking for right now, et cetera. Mm-hmm. Like, I would say a good example was, like, I would say probably about two years ago, the whole space of diversity, equity, and inclusion, which now has, goes by many different names.
Yeah. That, that, um, space got really shook up.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Hady Méndez: You know? And it was just like everybody was like, "Oh my God, what are we doing?" Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. "No, we're gonna, you know, be in trouble." Mm-hmm,
Toby Myles: yeah.
Hady Méndez: You know, "We can't spend money on that, and we have to make sure we're including everybody," and all the things. And I had to decide in that time, I'm like, I don't know if, like, I should...
Should I keep down this path? And if I am gonna, like, maybe I need to focus on a specific area. Like, what, what do I do? Like, how do I r- how do I respond to this moment? Yeah. What is the appropriate response, or where can I add the most value to- Yeah ... this moment? And you know, and I made some decisions around that time that I think have served me.
Yeah. So I do feel like those are the three things you should be paying attention to, but you should be working on them all the time. Mm-hmm.
Toby Myles: And, like,
Hady Méndez: constantly, um, you know, reevaluating the things you want. Yes. And building your confidence. 'Cause, you know, we could get promoted and then our confidence is shot because we're like- Right
or we could start a new com- you know, start working at a new company and then our confidence is shot 'cause we're like, we don't know anybody. Nobody knows us. Nobody knows, they don't know our track record. They, you know- Mm-hmm ... like, our reputation doesn't precede us in the same way, and it's like we're starting from the beginning again, and we get a little shook during those moments, so we know we have- Yeah
to rebuild our confidence. And I, I feel like over my career it took less and less time to build the confidence. Yeah. So whereas in the beginning of my career it could take two to three years. Right. By the, maybe by the time, you know, I was in my last position, it took, like, six months, and I was like- Yeah
"I'm back where I know where I belong."
Toby Myles: Right. Right. But that comes with, uh, experience, having gone through it multiple times. Yep. And also just it, you know, the years under your belt of- Having done the work, you know, and- Yeah ... proving that you're good at what you do. I love that idea of recalibrating, 'cause I think you're right.
I think we can sometimes commit to something, but not always stop and reevaluate, "Does this still serve me? Do I still even like this? Do I s- do I feel like this is where I'm doing the best good in the world- Yeah ... or for my family?" Like, I think that's so s- that's so smart, um, that idea. I mean, on a much smaller scale, I worked in direct response marketing for much of my career, and, um, that idea of tracking results was very much very similar.
Like, you put a campaign out into the world, and you just, you just don't forget it. Like, you have to go back and look and say, "Okay, what happened with this? Like, how many responses did we get? How much money did we raise?" Mm-hmm. "How many people joined the thing," right? And then you use that information then to guide your decisions going forward.
Yep. Um, but kinda what you're talking about on a, a bigger scale is you do the same thing with your life and your career.
Hady Méndez: Mm-hmm. 1,000%.
Toby Myles: Love that. I, I,
Hady Méndez: I like that, I like that comparison. I think it's a really good one.
Toby Myles: Oh my gosh, this has been so much fun. Honestly, I just, I can't believe we've been talking for almost an hour.
I feel like we could keep going. I want to give you an opportunity to let people know where they can find you online and where they can get your book.
Hady Méndez: Okay. So you can get my book wherever books are sold. That's the, the easy part. Yeah. And I have, um, an e-book, so, like, it's available, like, for your Kindle.
Um, and I also have a audiobook, and that's available on Audible. So, like, I have- Okay ... four, four versions of the book, but, you know, they're, they're all online. And if you prefer, like, an indie bookstore, like bookshop.org, the book's available there as well.
Toby Myles: Okay.
Hady Méndez: Um, so that's the easy part. Uh, where people can find me, I'm in, primarily in three places.
LinkedIn, for sure, first and foremost. So that's where I have the biggest audience, and people can just look me up by my name, Hady Méndez. I think I'm, like, probably the only one, or, like, maybe there's two of us. But, like-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Hady Méndez: you'll, you'll find me. I'm wearing a, I'm wearing a red jacket, so. Um, and then, um, I'm also on Instagram.
And on Instagram I'm under calladitanoMoreBook, so it's really, like, an account for the book.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Hady Méndez: And, um, you know, and I talk about, like, book events and, like, things that are happening with the book. So, um- Perfect ... that's really where updates, I put my updates, um, there. And then I also ha- I'm on Substack.
Okay. And Substack is, like, a f- fun community. Um, I started the Substack right before my book launch, like, maybe January my... Well, not right before, but my book launched September, and I started my, um, Substack in January. And I love it there. It's really nice. I have lots of essays there, um, reflections. Um, I started a...
I moved to Madrid in December, and I started a whole series called Letters From Madrid and where I just talk about my ex- like, the transition. Oh, wow. Oh my gosh. And it's really, it's really funny because it's like, I, I read it and I'm like, "Oh my God, I was definitely in the honeymoon stage then." And then there was, like, another part where I'm like- Everybody was like, "Are you okay?"
Because it was a, like a really, like it was from the heart, but it was like I was in a bad place. Oh.
Toby Myles: Oh,
Hady Méndez: no. Okay. For sure. So, so it's like kind of funny, like reading them, but I'm like, but that's what something like that is for. Mm-hmm. So you can really see, 'cause it's like, it's, you know, it's a change. Yeah.
And you go through it. Yeah. And so, uh, so I went through it, and it's all captured in, on Substack, so that's
Toby Myles: been fun. Amazing. So good. Well, we'll put all those links in the show notes. Hadi, this has been so much fun. I so appreciate you sending that first email. Um, I, I appreciate me for reading it for whatever reason.
Some intuition told me this one was worth reading, and I really appreciate, um, your time today, so thank you.
Hady Méndez: Thank you. Thank you for letting me shoot my shot with you.