Toby Myles shares her journey as a storytelling coach and strategic copywriter, and how helping entrepreneurs uncover and use their stories can transform the way they connect, market, and sell.
Check Out These Highlights:
If you’ve ever struggled to talk about what you do, or felt like your message isn’t landing, this episode will shift the way you think about storytelling. Toby Myles shares how she built her work around helping entrepreneurs find the beauty in their lived experiences and turn those stories into meaningful connections.
In this conversation, Toby walks through the role storytelling plays in building trust, why your story is more powerful than you think, and how many business owners overlook the very things that make them relatable. We also dive into the difference between simply sharing content and telling stories that resonate, and how that impacts your ability to speak and sell with confidence.
Toby also introduces her approach to story work, including her Core Storyhub Framework inside the Her Story Authority mentorship, and how it helps clients bring their voices to life in a way that feels natural and aligned. This episode is a reminder that your story isn’t just part of your brand; it is the bridge that connects you to the people you’re meant to serve.
About Toby Myles:
Toby Myles is a storytelling coach and strategic copywriter who helps entrepreneurs find the beauty in their stories and use them to build connection and trust in their marketing. Through her workshops, private coaching, and Core Storyhub Framework inside the Her Story Authority mentorship, she helps clients speak and sell with confidence.
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🌐 Website: https://tobymyles.com/
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toby-myles/
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tobymyles.storycoach/
🎙 Podcast: https://tobymyles.com/podcast/
🎁 Free Resource: https://chipper-creator-2128.kit.com/56150443a6
📖 Her Story Authority: https://tobymyles.thrivecart.com/her-story-authority/
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Toby Myles: Hey Kristi, welcome back to the podcast.
Kristi Mitchell: I am super excited for this conversation.
Toby Myles: I am oddly a little bit nervous, which is funny. It's my podcast. Um, at this point, at the time of this recording, I think we've recorded. Over 50 episodes already. So you wouldn't think I would be nervous, but, um, I much prefer to shine the spotlight on other women and not have it shined on me.
But I've had so many people ask me, when are you going to tell your origin story? So that's what we're doing today. I'm so grateful. That you agreed to do this. Um, you have your own podcast. Unfudge your marketing. So you're a pro. You know how this goes. And I couldn't think of anybody better to flip the mic.
And so that's what we're doing today. Um, you are going to ask me all the hard questions about my origin story. So, um, yeah, I'm a little bit nervous, see how this goes. But, um, I'm gonna turn the mic over to you.
Kristi Mitchell: Well, I am honored that you asked me to play this role. I was like, oh my gosh, yes, absolutely. I will do this.
I'm so excited.
Toby Myles: Well, I actually got the idea from you because you had somebody do that as well on your podcast, and I was like, what a great idea. And I think you were a little bit nervous too, weren't you?
Kristi Mitchell: I, yes. As soon as you were saying you were nervous, I was like, yep. I know that feeling. I know that feeling very well.
Toby Myles: Well, it's fine. We know each other well and, um. You know, I think it'll be fine. It'll be interesting. It'll probably. Some funny parts and, and
Kristi Mitchell: yes.
Toby Myles: Um, who knows? Who knows? We might have to edit, edit a bunch of this. But anyway, I'm gonna stop talking. I'm gonna turn it over to you. Okay. And just, you can kick things off.
Kristi Mitchell: Alright, well I would love for you to take us back to where it all began. What, was there a moment or a memory or experience that you see as the true beginning of your origin story? Yes. And maybe it didn't seem significant at the time, but looking back it does.
Toby Myles: Yeah. So like. Almost all of my guests, this is one of those questions where people are like, wow.
Like I don't know if I can pick just one moment, right? Mm-hmm. And so there are, I think, different origins, and I think that's super common. There's different origins to different parts of our lives, right? So if I just go back to like who I am, sort of. At my core, I've always been a creative person. As a kid, I was always making things, writing things, creating things.
That's always been a part of who I am. And so, um, it would be no surprise that, um, I started as a graphic designer and then I was marketing director, stayed in marketing for many years. I had a jewelry business on the side while I was in marketing. Um, and, um. Yeah, it just, that piece of that always wanted to make things and create things has always been a part of me.
But specifically, um, for my business, I had been working in marketing, um, direct response marketing, which is just a fancy way of saying junk mail. I was in the junk mail business for direct
Kristi Mitchell: response sounds
Toby Myles: junk. I know. I usually say direct response and then I can see kinda like the light bulb and people are like.
I think you are responsible for all that crap that shows up in my mailbox
Kristi Mitchell: that goes right into the recycling bin.
Toby Myles: Exactly. Or people would say, um, can you take me my name off of? Like these mailing lists, I'm like, absolutely not. Like that is a whole privacy thing, but I can put you on some more mailing lists.
So that was always like, you know, if I really want to piss somebody off anyway, that's like a whole other conversation. So I was in direct response marketing for 15 years and, um, loved my boss, loved the people that I worked with. Um. And during that time is when I had my jewelry business. I was missing that like creative outlet and so I had a jewelry business on the side.
Uh, always thought eventually I would, you know, that would be like my retirement job. I would leave marketing and, and focus on my jewelry business and, um, for probably like the past. The last five years of that job, my boss kept dangling this promotion. Um, you know, we wanna get you to the next level. We want you to be a client strategy manager.
You're, you would be perfect for this. You know, it'll happen. And so year after year, it was like, I would sit down at my review and she's like, yeah, maybe this is like, really the year. And it wasn't that she didn't think I was qualified, but there was a lot of change in management. And so every time she would, you know, put me in for a promotion, then.
Her boss would get fired and someone else would take his place or her place and she would have to start all over. And I think at some point she just kind of gave up. You know, we kinda stopped talking about it and it was, um. March of 2019 when I had my review and we, and we didn't even talk about it. It never even came up in that, um, review.
And I thought, this is never going to happen. Like, what am I even doing here? And I was starting to get restless, you know, I was wanting to do something a little bit more creative. I worked with teams of designers and copywriters and things like that and did a little bit of copywriting there. And I was like, I wanna do more of that.
I wouldn't be more in charge of like, the strategy and creating things and I, I just, I saw the writing on the wall. I was like, this is not ever gonna happen. And so I talked to my husband and I was like, I think I'm, it's time I think, you know, I wanna leave and like maybe focus on my jewelry business. And so I told my boss like, I'm gonna leave at the end of the year.
And I, I just, I was very like. Blunt about it. I was like, I don't think that this promotion's ever gonna happen. And she said, well, she's like, don't do anything yet. She's like, we have somebody new. And I think he's really supportive of people growing in the company. Let me talk to him. So. It must have been like, maybe like a couple weeks after that I got a call from her boss and I was totally shocked and he was, he was asking me like, what's going on?
Tell me what's been happening over the years, you know, with this promotion, why hasn't it happened? He was trying to like get a lay of the land and so I told him, and he said, don't do anything yet. He's like, don't take any other jobs. Let me see what I can do. And then maybe another few weeks after that, he came to me and he's.
He said, um, I we're working on something, we're super close. You know, your boss will let you know within, you know, a couple days, a few weeks. Right. So they came through with a promotion and it was like the one I had thought that I wanted all those years. Right. The problem was that. They, they wanted me, the, the pro promotion was for, um, a position called Client Strategy Manager, where I would be working with a whole portfolio of clients, helping them figure out a strategy for their marketing.
Right. It was exactly what I wanted to do, what I was ready to do. The problem is that because they were trying to make this work for me and keep me there, they kind of, um. How do I wanna say this? They kind of changed the position a little bit so that they gave me one, one particular client, which was huge, a huge client.
Um, so I was gonna be just managing this one client, and because of this one client fell under another manager. I was going to be day-to-day reporting to a different manager, not my manager. And it turned out that this person was a micromanager and she just, oh my gosh. She wanted like daily calls and daily reports and just.
It was a lot. Right. And I thought, okay, it'll get better. I'll keep trying, you know, I'll try to do things her way. But I felt really resentful because I felt like I'd been with the company for 15 years. I didn't need somebody to micromanage me. That's how I got where I got. Right.
Kristi Mitchell: Right.
Toby Myles: And
Kristi Mitchell: so you, to be clear, hold on.
You took the position,
Toby Myles: you said, okay. I took the position, yes. Okay. I took the position. Yes. Actually I talked to my husband. I was like, I don't know, like I feel like in my mind I just wanna leave. And he's like, well, you said you were gonna leave at the end of the year. Just try it. Give it a try and see how it goes.
You can still leave it the end of the year. And I was like, okay. Yeah. Good point. Anyway. Good point. It was horrible. It was such a mismatch. With me and the manager, with me and the client. Um, it was, it was terrible and I was, it was starting to affect my health. There were many days when I was literally like in tears with like stomach problems.
Like I remember my daughter like coming over to me. I was like under my desk. She's like, mom, you have to get up. And you held up in the field. Exactly, exactly. I was literally under my desk. It was terrible. Oh
Kristi Mitchell: no.
Toby Myles: And so, um. It was the summer, that summer July, 2019. Um, and I, you know, told my husband like, I, honestly, I don't think I could do this anymore.
This is. Was a bad fit, a bad idea. Yeah. I just wanna leave. And he was like, okay. He's like, that's fine. And within a few weeks of that, we learned that he had, um, a blood cancer called Multiple myeloma. And, um, at that time, but still to this day, it's not, there's no official cure. Um, but it was like. In a day.
Our lives were like flipped upside down. And I remember sitting with him on the couch one morning after we got this news and I said, I don't like, this is the worst time for me to leave. This is, we don't know what's gonna happen with you. Maybe you know, I need to stay at my job for the stability. And he's like, no, this is the perfect time for you to leave, because we just witnessed firsthand that.
There's nothing, nothing is promised. You don't know what's gonna happen in the future. You could say, I'll leave in a year or another, but who knows about your health and all the things. He's like, I think you should still do it. So I was like, okay, I'll still do it. So what I decided to do was I'm thinking I'm gonna do this jewelry business that I've had for five years.
Um, but I said, you know. I love writing copy and I know that I can help other jewelry designers who hate writing copy. I know that I can help them. And so I started, I decided to pick up some freelance clients to get me to the end of the year, set aside some money so that when I started my jewelry business, I would be good to go and the copywriting would kind of fill in the cracks.
So, um. So that was the start of my copywriting business. Then fast forward to the beginning of 2020, I had so many copywriting clients at that time. I also had an injury to my hand that made it hard for me to sit at a jeweler's bench. And so I, I said, you know what? Maybe the universe is kind of pointing me in a direction.
Maybe I really. Copywriting is really what I should pursue. Mm-hmm. And so I did. And so I, I let go of the jewelry business piece by piece, literally like, you know, supplies metal, that I had, some bigger tools, a bigger work bench. I kind of like sold them piece by piece. Mm-hmm. And every time I let go of something, I was like, how does that feel?
Does that feel good? And if it felt good, I was like, okay, I'm on the right track now I can sell something bigger.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah.
Toby Myles: Yeah. So I would say like that led me to, to the business that I have today.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah. How cool is that though, that you were able to take two things that you were passionate about and that you enjoyed and like mold them together?
Like that makes so much sense and that is so incredibly cool. Um. Now to see that evolution of like, now where are you, you know? Yeah. Where you are in your, in your copywriting journey.
Toby Myles: Yeah. My, um, my boss, the, my original boss, not the person I had to report to at the very end, but when I left, she said to me, I love how you keep reinventing yourself.
And I know she meant it as a compliment, but to me it's, it kind of surprised me 'cause I was like, is that actually what I'm doing to me, I just felt like I'm just. Doing the next thing I, I should be doing. Right. Yeah. And you know, I would say I'm like a multi-passionate person, so it's like if something excites me and I wanna do it, I just do it.
Kristi Mitchell: Right. Right. And it's like, it's really. Hindsight's 2020. So when you look back on it, you're like, oh, this was right there. Stepping stones. Yeah. Um, just like you said, when I offic when I first asked you the question, it's like, it's not a single moment. Right. It's like a bunch of of things that happened and I see them as like stepping stones along this journey.
And sometimes you kind of take a step to the side and then you know, step back.
Toby Myles: Exactly. Exactly.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah.
Toby Myles: Yeah. So that's, I would say like that is really the core. That's the piece that a lot of people. Don't really know. Um,
Kristi Mitchell: yeah.
Toby Myles: You know, but that, about that year and that moment where I was like, yeah. Right. I, I just need to, it's time I'm miserable.
Yeah. I'm not feeling healthy and I wanted to be there for my husband. Like we didn't know what was Yeah. What the road was gonna be ahead.
Kristi Mitchell: Mm-hmm.
Toby Myles: Um, and you know, like having your own business, like, yeah. It's a lot of hard work, but if you need to be there for your family, you may, you, you can be there, you can Yeah.
Shuffle things around, you know? Yeah. Work really hard so you can take a day off, you know? Yeah. Um, all those things. So
Kristi Mitchell: it's so interesting because you and I have been friends for so long now, it feels like we've known each other forever, and I knew bits and pieces of your story, but I didn't know how similar you and I shared that experience of like working for a micromanager boss and like the huge.
Toll that it takes on you.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Kristi Mitchell: Not just in terms of work, but then it bleeds over to, you know, your regular life when you're stressed and you don't wanna go back to work and you're curled up under your desk. Like, it's tough.
Toby Myles: It's tough. It's tough. I don't really know of anyone who would like working for a micromanager.
Uh, most people complain about it, but I guess maybe there are some people that. Just prefer just to know exactly. Like, just tell me what you need me to do and I'll just do it. Right? Yes. That is definitely not me.
Kristi Mitchell: Yes. I wanna do my own things.
Toby Myles: Yeah. I don't want someone to tell me what to do. I mean. My clients are like a bunch of bosses in some ways.
Right, but they, but you're the
Kristi Mitchell: expert.
Toby Myles: I'm the expert and I have the best clients. They don't tell me what to do, but we have conversations about things like, what about this? What about that? Oh, that doesn't sound exactly like something I would say, can you write it? Look, you know, all those things. But that's more of a collaboration as opposed to them telling me what to do.
Kristi Mitchell: Yes. Yeah, for sure.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Kristi Mitchell: So we're talking a little bit about. How it's not, you mentioned a couple minutes ago, it's not easy being a business owner running your own thing. It is nice to have those benefits of being flexible around, you know, certainly a family member's health situation, which I know you continue to, you know, be there for him through his journey with that.
Um, what is it that. Keeps you going as all these year, because that's the cool part too. I think about you and I as we started the same year. Um, yeah. Which I love. Uh, so what's, what's kept you going all this time?
Toby Myles: Oh my gosh. Well, for one thing, I, um. I feel like I am made for entrepreneurship. I love to create things.
I, as we already discussed, I don't like to be told what to do. Um, I don't want someone telling me like, oh, you shouldn't do that. You shouldn't go this direction or that direction. So, so that, so that creative part of being. An entrepreneur I love, um, almost to a fault because sometimes I have to reign myself in and say, okay, that is a good idea, but that's not what you should be focusing on right now.
Put it in your Asana board and save it for later. Right? And so, um, so I love that, that part and I. Stay very connected to that and the idea of like not being able to do those things, create things for my business, create new things, you know, serve my clients in new, new ways. The idea of not being able to do that and having to like go back and work for someone actually makes me feel sick to my stomach.
So when things get hard and. Don't get me wrong. And I, and I think you can relate to this, like when things are hard, you start like searching the job boards. It's like, maybe I should just get a job and this would be so much easier. And then I start to think, okay, but would it, because I would, I feel like I would be resentful of, you know, the structure.
Of an actual real job. Even if I was working from home, I would be resentful of that. Um, I don't want, you know, two weeks vacation. I want to take as much vacation as I want. Um, so when things feel hard, I think, what's the alternative? Like, what would I do instead? And when I think about that, I'm like, yeah, I don't like that idea at all.
And so I'm gonna figure this out. Like, I have to figure this out. Right? And so I, I just. I just lean on the people around me, my support system. You're a huge part of that. Um, my husband is a huge part of that, you know, and, and I'm in a couple of other communities where I have access to coaches to like, okay, let's figure this out.
Like, why is this this particular thing not working the way I want it to? And so, yeah, I I and you know, the whole other part of it, like I know that I can help people. I know that people struggle with copywriting and. Email strategy and content. Yeah. And storytelling. Like all those things. I know. That's what I'm, I'm meant to do.
I know. Those are things I'm really good at that other people aren't necessarily good at. Not everybody, but my clients. Right. They need help.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah.
Toby Myles: And I know that I can help them. So, um, I feel like those really long answer.
Kristi Mitchell: I love that though. I love, no, I really love your point about like when it's hard, I think about like, what's the alternative like, and Right.
It's like choose your hard, that whole thing,
Toby Myles: like yes. Yep.
Kristi Mitchell: Building a business is hard. Going from being an entrepreneur to then having to follow the constraints of corporate life. Like that's hard. So choose your heart. Which one do you want?
Toby Myles: Yeah. And I think like, you know. I've used this term like I'm unemployable.
I actually think I'm unemployable. I think if I got a job, it probably would last like a week and then I get fired. The only thing I maybe could do is, um, we have a tractor supply down the street. I literally could walk to the tractor supply and, um, I love when they have, when it's chick season, like the chicks, you know, they put the signs out.
They're like, chicks are here. I think I could do that job, like take care of the chicks.
Kristi Mitchell: Oh, I can like picture it right now. I love that. Well, the other thing that I, so I love that you had kind of two parts to your answer because the other one resonates a lot with me. Your whole point about I know that I can help people.
Yeah. And it's this like deep seated passion of like, I have to do this work 'cause there's people out there who need me.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah. Even with, um, you know, and I feel like. Um, everybody in an online business is feeling the effects of AI. Um, I have no doubt that I have lost clients because they decided we can do this in-house, we don't need you.
Mm-hmm. Um, and that kind of hurts, but that's like the reality of the world that we're living in. Right. But even with that, people know that like you can't just take copy from AI and just send an email or. Write a blog post or you know, content or whatever. You have to put your voice in it. You have to get,
Kristi Mitchell: yeah,
Toby Myles: get in there and, and fidget with it.
And a lot of people just don't have the time to do that. A lot of my clients, they don't want to, and they don't have the time to do it. Mm-hmm. And so even if they start with something AI generate, one of my clients is a very successful podcaster. And so, um, she'll do like a first, you know, pass through.
Claude or ChatGPT and then, um, you know, I'm able to go in there and say, well, this doesn't really sound like you, let's, you know, make this actually sound like you. So that's the reality, right? That's the reality of what we're dealing with. People are using it and we have to adjust. Right? So, yeah.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah. And there's the whole, right?
You know me, I'm all about the strategy too, so it's like mm-hmm. I feel like that's a big gap when people jump to AI for content creation without a strategy and guide rails and all of those things to make sure that your content stays on brand. That these are topics we should be talking about in our space.
Is this really gonna resonate with the audience we're trying to connect with all of those variables.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And the same thing applies with, um, storytelling, right? AI doesn't know your stories, they weren't in that experience with you. They can't mm-hmm. Tell that story from your perspective of, you know, you like being triggered by something and, and, you know, documenting that moment and then deciding, is that like a story worthy moment?
Is that something worth telling? Like AI, maybe sometime in the future, you know, that will happen, but right now it, it still doesn't and
Kristi Mitchell: Right.
Toby Myles: I feel like. A lot of the people that I work with, that's the one thing they wanna know is like, how do I turn these everyday moments into stories that connect with people?
And so, um, so that part of what I do is super fun. I love that probably more than anything that I do right now.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah. And obviously since you and I have known each other for so long, I've seen this kind of evolution of your business and this Yeah. You know, kind of movement into storytelling. But what can you share about that journey?
Like, how did you. Get from Right. Another stepping stone. Mm-hmm. You've got from just kind of general copywriting email, you know, other stuff to the focus on storytelling. How did that
Toby Myles: happen? Yeah, yeah. I, so again, I feel like there are, are, um, my storytelling roots go way back to childhood. Um, my dad, my grandfather and my uncle were all amazing storytellers and mm-hmm.
Um. You know, it wasn't something that I really thought about until I started to kind of make this shift or this pivot into being a storytelling coach that, um, yeah, I remember just being mesmerized. You know, we would, as kids would just be sitting there, you know, waiting and listening. My grandfather was like a master at it, um, and he could like weave this story and we weren't sure if it was true or not, you know, and sometimes it was like, really?
You know, just crazy things would happen. But he told it so with such a, you know, straight face that we were like, wait, did that really happen? Until my grandmother would start laughing And she's like, oh, Jack, stop. So Grandma gave it
Kristi Mitchell: away.
Toby Myles: Grandma gave it away. So, um, so I think the, those roots to storytelling really run deep.
Um, as a kid, I loved creative writing. I was always writing, um, just kinda. Weird creative stories. Um, and then even as I progressed through my career in marketing, um, I really tried to like liven up copy by kind of putting someone in a scene, um, you know, kind of telling a story, um, from the perspective of like, um, well let me give you an example.
Um, product descriptions, like for a website, right? Instead of just saying, you know, it's listing all the specs. It's this, this, and this. It would, I would start by telling a story. You know, you walk into a room and it smells like your grandmother's baking apple pie. Um, and, you know, kind of go in that direction and it would be a description for like, um, like a scented candle or something like that, right?
Kristi Mitchell: Mm-hmm.
Toby Myles: And so I gravitated towards those things naturally. Because those were the kinds of things I liked to read, right? Something that brings me into the moment. And so, so in my business, really it was AI that kind of pushed me in the direction of doing more storytelling and story coaching. When I started to realize that more and more people were going to be using AI and um, you know, some of the basic emails that are writing.
You know, clients were gonna write themselves or hire a VA to do, I really started to notice, you know, that shift. And, but like I already said, the one thing that AI can't do is, is tell your stories for you. And I said, you know, this is something I've always loved and always been pretty good at. And. People need help with it.
You know, people need help knowing like, what's an anecdote versus what's a story and how do I write something, even if it's short? That is compelling. It draws people in. You know, makes connections and builds trust, you know, and those are all the things that stories do. And so, um, beginning of 2025, actually the end of 2024 is when I really said, you know what?
This is, this is the direction I'm going. Everything I create is going to be around. Storytelling, including this podcast. Um, and my community, her story authority exists for that reason. The Core Eight Story Hub, which is the course inside the community, is created for that reason. Um, and I, everything I do now is through that lens.
You know how to help, uh, entrepreneurs tell better stories so that they can grow their businesses.
Kristi Mitchell: I absolutely love that. I, it's so interesting when you gave the example of like the candle, right? Like I wouldn't think that you could tell a story about a candle, like, but it makes so much sense. That's so interesting that you just kind of found yourself gravitating towards that type of writing.
And then really, honestly, I never knew that like AI was the thing that really kind of pushed you
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Kristi Mitchell: Even further into it. So yeah.
Toby Myles: It did. So I think of it as a blessing in a way because I'm doing work now that I know that I'm meant to do, and it feels like the perfect place for me. And who knows, you know, if, if a I I hadn't really like caught on, um, as quickly as it did, who knows if I would've seen the writing on the wall, so to speak.
You know? So I'm sort of grateful for it.
Kristi Mitchell: Well, what's so interesting, Toby, is I'm thinking about all the things we've talked about in this conversation where outside forces really influenced that next stepping stone for you. Mm-hmm. You know, it was the being unhappy in your job and then getting the promotion you always wanted, and the micromanager boss and your husband's, you know.
Really devastating diagnosis and then, you know, now we fast forward to now and AI and that like big change in your business. Like, it's just so interesting to, to think about it that way. All these kind of outside forces that helped
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Kristi Mitchell: Shape you, but you stayed true to like what was important to you the entire time.
Toby Myles: Yeah, yeah. There's always gonna be those things outside our control that we can't ignore. Right. We can't. I just can't ignore them. So, um, I don't like to necessarily be a reactive person. You know, I do like to have a little more control and be a little bit more of a planner. Um, and so maybe it's a balance of both, right?
Like, okay, I'm reacting to something, what's gonna be my plan going forward to, you know, stay relevant in the face of whatever happens to be going on, right? And so, um. I think it's better to be a little bit more of a planner. I wouldn't say that's necessarily my strong suit. Um, but I'm married to a planner, you know, 30 year retired army vet, so, so it's, some of it's kind of rubbed off on me, but, um, you know, maybe a balance of both is good.
Like,
Kristi Mitchell: yeah,
Toby Myles: something's not working. I gotta come up with a plan,
Kristi Mitchell: right?
Toby Myles: So, um, your
Kristi Mitchell: biz bestie is also a planner, so maybe I
Toby Myles: Yes, I know. That is true. It's true.
Kristi Mitchell: And your creativity rubs off on me.
Toby Myles: Yeah, we're a good match.
Kristi Mitchell: So, uh, I wanna go back. Uh, you were talking about the storytelling and how you look back to your childhood.
Think about those stories that your family members told. It's so funny because as soon as you were describing it, my uncle who has since passed, used to always tell this story around the campfire in the summer when we were all together as a family. And it was what? It was the same thing you were saying.
You were like, wait, is this true? Is this not true? And then he would even get, so we'd be like on a beach with the campfire and he would get like relatives of ours who were like down a few cottages. To participate in it without us knowing. So they would like, they would like yell, like they would like shout something related to like the story.
Mm-hmm. And I still to this day don't know like how he cud them 'cause they were not close by at all. That's
Toby Myles: so funny.
Kristi Mitchell: But, um, yeah. That's so interesting. Anyway, this isn't about me, so it brought me back to that. But I also know that on this show, you always ask your guests. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Gosh, and I thought like you were talking about childhood, so I'm like, wait a minute, I gotta bring this back full circle because I have to ask this question because I always love listening to people's answers.
Toby Myles: Yeah. I don't know.
Kristi Mitchell: I know your answer.
Toby Myles: You do know because.
Kristi Mitchell: I think so. Yeah.
Toby Myles: All right. Um, so a couple things, but the, the first thing I usually say because it's the thing that I remember the most is I wanted to be a ventriloquist, which is so weird.
Honestly, I can't really say that I've ever met anyone who that was their answer, but I've never actually met a ventriloquist. So maybe an actual ventriloquist that would've been their answer. Yeah. Um, and it's funny to me now when I think about it, because like those little. You know, the dummies or the dolls or whatever, like, I think they're super creepy now when I think about them.
Right? So I'm not really sure what it was other than I probably thought it was like super cool, you know, that you could do that. And I had someone tell me recently, um, when I told them that, that we were talking about the fact that. For my job, I actually help people get their message out into the world, you know, through copy and so maybe in some sort of like morphed way.
I am a ventriloquist in writing.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah.
Toby Myles: Right.
Kristi Mitchell: Yes.
Toby Myles: So, um, so that was the number one thing. And then I had some other weird things that I thought I would do. Like I thought I would be a drummer in a band, which is funny because I never played drums, but I also thought that was really cool. Um, you know, I, I was not one of these people that had like, some practical idea of what I wanted to be, like a teacher or a doctor or something that was actually gonna pay the bills.
I, that never occurred to me. So, um, it was more just like even at a young age, like, I'm passionate about this, so that's what I'm gonna do.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah. Well yeah, like you said, you're like seeing other people do these things and you're like, well that looks really cool. I wanna do that. Yeah,
Toby Myles: yeah, yeah. And I think it's funny 'cause I remember asking you the question when I interviewed you and you talked about your mom's friend who had this like fancy apartment and you didn't know what she did, you just want to do the thing that was gonna get you the fancy apartment.
Kristi Mitchell: Yes. She traveled and had two Labradors and yeah, I was like, yes, I want that.
Toby Myles: Yeah. So anyway, that's, so that's ventriloquist,
Kristi Mitchell: that's, yeah. That's so unique, so unique, so different.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Kristi Mitchell: Are there, I'm curious, like I think about, you've talked about your family a bit. Um, were there, are there things that you look back on in your childhood where you see that your family kind of like influenced the path that you ended up going down?
Toby Myles: Um, I was like a goofy, silly child and I'm, I'm the second of four and my older sister is. Practical, logical, did all the right things, you know, rarely, you know, got in trouble. Um, and I think that there was a good bit of time where my parents were not sure what was ever gonna happen to me. And I was, I was shy, introverted.
I would say that at a young age I probably struggled with some social anxiety. Um, and. As a result became very much a homebody. And so, um, you know, I would say things like, I'm never moving out and I know you can relate with your son. And my mom would joke, well, you know, I hope that, um, when we sell this house that the people that buy it would like to have a little girl because when we move, you're not coming with us.
So, um. My parents just always, they were very patient. They never. Pressured. Like, you should do this or you should do that. You know, I know a lot of people, their parents very much influenced what they, you know, majored in, in college. Um, my family was not that at all, you know, bless my parents who are both gone now for many years, but they were very patient and very willing to just let us.
Explore and try things, try different things, especially me, you know, I think they were just hoping that something would finally stick and I would eventually like be on my way and fly the nest. I did leave at a young age. I didn't, they didn't have to sell the house with me in it. But, um,
Kristi Mitchell: that would've been for a really interesting story, though.
Toby Myles: I, it would've, but when I, um, I was very into sports in. High school. And so I thought I wanted to be a phys ed major, and that was my first major in college. Um, and so I, that's what I first went to college for. And then it was like, uh, I don't know, um, I kind of lost interest in that or it just didn't feel like that was the right path.
So I dropped out for a semester and then I went back and I was in, um, hotel motel management. Not sure why I picked that, but, um. That wasn't it either. So I dropped out again and at that point my dad said, we are here for you. We will support you. But when it comes to school, college, like. You're on your own now, like you're gonna have to pay for it yourself, right?
Sure. So I was working, I was a receptionist in a law firm and, um, my older sister said, you know, you've always been good at art, love, you know, drawing and painting and making things. Maybe you should take an art class. Like, to that point, I had never taken it official art class in like high school or anything, and I was like.
Okay. And so I did that and that was the start to my first career and my path to becoming a graphic designer. Like it really stuck. Cool. I took a couple classes while I was working and then I think after that first or second semester I enrolled full-time, um, and start my career as a graphic designer, which I did for almost 20 years.
So a long time.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah.
Toby Myles: Yeah. So
Kristi Mitchell: that's awesome.
Toby Myles: That being said, yes, my parents were supportive. But also like there was not endless amounts of money to, for Toby to figure out what she wanted to be when she grew up. And there were three other kids too. Right. So,
Kristi Mitchell: yeah. But honestly, Toby, even the fact that they started, I mean, I'm, I'm sure you were paraphrasing and you can't remember exactly the conversation that happened, you know, when you had already had these kind of couple false starts on going to college and what your major was gonna be.
Mm-hmm. But the fact that it sounds like they led with. We support you and we're here for you.
Toby Myles: Yes.
That's
Kristi Mitchell: such a different message than, okay, you haven't figured this out and we're not paying for anything anymore.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Kristi Mitchell: You know? Yeah. It's very different.
Toby Myles: Yeah, exactly. It was very much, I never felt not supported by my family, you know?
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah.
Toby Myles: At all I had, and you know, as a parent now looking back, I don't blame my dad for saying that, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, I, you know, I would've. Said the same thing. I have said the same thing. I mean, my, my son, you know, college was not for him and he's very successful in his career in what he's doing now.
But, um, at some point, like, it's okay to say like, that's not your thing. And that doesn't mean that you can't also find something that you love and can be successful at, which ultimately he did, you know? Yeah. And so I think in some ways, you know. It can be a relief for a kid to know like, okay, I, I, I don't have to fit in this box.
I don't have to take like a traditional path to being successful in my life. You know? And all you just need is people around you who are not gonna ever give up on you.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah. I'm curious, I keep thinking about your sister being the one encouraging you to go into art because then, you know, full circle, when we go back to the start of this conversation, it was like art led to, you know, this which led, you know, led to marketing, which led to copywriting, right?
Toby Myles: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And
Kristi Mitchell: do you give your sister credit for that?
Toby Myles: Um, I do, you know, I don't think of it as like the start to my whole career, but actually it is. But yeah, I always say like, she was the one that first told me to take a class and I'm not really sure exactly what it was. I mean, I had a job, you know, I was working in a law firm.
Yeah. And. I was never gonna be a lawyer, but you know, I was working in a law firm. I could have gone on to other things in that
mm-hmm.
Environment, so I'm not really sure exactly what it was. It
Kristi Mitchell: sounds like anti creativity art.
Toby Myles: Right, exactly. Thank goodness she saved me.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah.
Toby Myles: But yeah, I, I definitely, you know, she, I, I would have to ask her actually, like.
What was it that she saw at the time that she was like, yeah, yeah, this is what you're supposed to be doing. Why don't you go take an art class?
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah. It's always so interesting, right when those close to us, like reflect things back to us. Yes. And give us ideas. And we're like, oh, I hadn't thought about that.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And it did not take me long for to realize like she was right and I was onto something, you know? I was like, wow. Yeah. And at that time, like graphic design wasn't so much of a thing. And so I remember, you know, I took. A drawing class and a painting class, I think at first. Um, but then, you know, I realized like there were other things that I could do within, you know?
Kristi Mitchell: Mm-hmm.
Toby Myles: Not, not just fine art, but like commercial art. Um, and I remember even at the time thinking like, wow, I never knew, like you could have a career as an artist, you know? Yeah. So she definitely helped set me on that path.
Kristi Mitchell: I love that. I, so we're talking about your family. Mm-hmm. And I know that your brother, who has since passed, played a huge role in shaping who you are.
Mm-hmm. So I feel like we have to talk about him in this conversation. Oh,
Toby Myles: I love that you asked me that. Yeah. Bruce, um, was younger than me by four years, had down syndrome. He passed away in 2023 and he was one of the greatest gifts of my life. Um, I say now that he's gone, that he was always the most interesting thing about me was the fact that he was my brother, and I really felt that.
That like big gaping hole when he passed away. It's like, well, who am I now? Like, I'm just like an ordinary person now. I don't have him, you know, as my brother, but, um, he shaped all of us in my family. Um, he just was, he, he made all of us more, um, open to people's differences and more understanding that not everyone.
Goes at the same pace that we do and that each person deserves to have their own, um, path and their own measure of success that his did not look like ours, you know, for him to learn to tie his shoes. Was like huge, right? Um, and for him to graduate high school also was like huge. And then he moved out and lived in a group home from his early twenties on to when he passed away and led this very full life, you know?
So he had a very normal life, you know, and I used to joke that he had like a better social life than I ever did. He was always going and doing things with his housemates and things like that. Um, but. He just, he was such a, like, calming force in my life because he just, he was just here for the fun. He was just here, like, his life was just all about like having fun, um, you know, meeting people, talking to people, talking about football, which was like his favorite topic ever.
And he didn't worry, he didn't have to worry about like, all the things that we worry about, right? Like he didn't
Kristi Mitchell: mm-hmm.
Toby Myles: I think about like all the things that are going on in our lives and in the world today mm-hmm. That can, you know, really kind of like bring a person down if you really focus on too much.
Yeah. And he had the, um, gift of being. He wasn't an ignorant person, but you know what I mean? Like he did not have to think about those things. Those things did not Yeah. Impact his life in that way. Yeah. And so, um, it was always like a good reminder mm-hmm. Throughout my whole life. And especially as an adult, you know, when facing some like more, um, hard things, is that like.
Be more like, his name was Bruce. Be more like Bruce, like, just, you know, stay present in the day, you know, get excited about what you're gonna have for lunch.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah.
Toby Myles: Talk about football. Um, and just be a good human, you know, he was just such a sweet and kind person. So I, I honestly don't know, like I've had people say, well, what was it like to have a brother with.
You know, a disability or with Down syndrome. Like, I don't mm-hmm. Know, like he was my brother. He was just my brother. Yeah. And he, my parents raised him like the rest of us, you know? He, yes. He had special. A special school that he went to and programs and he needed other things, you know, outside of what we needed.
But he had, he had rules, he had chores, he had consequences. Um, you know, he was very much treated like an equal in our family, which
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah.
Toby Myles: Was really good for him. 'cause he would not have thrived without those same boundaries and consequences.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah. It's funny you, uh, I forget what you said, but it was coming to me.
What would Bruce do? Like maybe we should all ask ourselves that. Yeah. When we feel really stressed and like worried about things. Like what would Bruce do?
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I honestly, I could say, I could say I could count on maybe one hand in his entire life the number of times I ever saw him in a bad mood.
He just was not ever in a bad mood. He was just, yeah, happy. And you know, and I'm not saying like people should just ignore their feelings and just put on a brave face all the time. But, um, you know, it was very remarkable with him in that way that he just loved life.
Kristi Mitchell: Yeah, I love that.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Kristi Mitchell: So I forgot to ask you how long we were supposed to talk for.
Normally when I'm the host of my own show, I'm paying attention to the clock and like, okay, where are we at minute wise? I'm like, wait, should we keep talking or should we wrap this up?
Toby Myles: I guess I didn't tell you, I guess I didn't tell you. We can wrap things up whenever we wanna wrap things up. I usually, we usually go like about now 30, 40 minutes.
Um Okay. And when you feel like you've run out of questions, that's usually how I do it. Yes. It's like, okay, I think we've covered everything. And
Kristi Mitchell: I feel like we've covered a lot. We've covered a lot. I love all the different pieces to your origin story that we've covered. Is there anything we didn't talk about that you wanted to share?
Toby Myles: Um, no, I don't, I don't think so. I didn't wanna do this at all. I take that back. Well,
Kristi Mitchell: hope it wasn't painful. No,
Toby Myles: I hope it wasn't. Hope
Kristi Mitchell: that made you feel comfortable?
Toby Myles: No, I'm, I'm totally joking about that. I did wanna do this. I have not done any solo episodes in. The one year this episode is gonna air during our one year anniversary, which is the first week in May.
And that's why we're doing this now. Um, and I've had many people say, you, you need to do more solo episodes. And it's like, do I though, like I just wanna talk to other people. That is why this podcast exists because I am super nosy about other people and I wanna ask all the questions. So, um, but I, I felt that I owed it to people who kept asking.
What about your origin story? And that's, you gotta
Kristi Mitchell: give 'em what they want.
Toby Myles: I gotta give 'em what they want. So that's, so it's not really that I didn't wanna do it, but I, it probably wouldn't have occurred to me like, oh, nobody knows my story, so. Here we are.
Kristi Mitchell: I love it. I love it. Well, I feel like we covered a lot of great grounds.
Toby Myles: I think so
Kristi Mitchell: too. And people listening to the show already know that they can find you here. Yes. Um, but what else do you wanna share? How else can people connect with you?
Toby Myles: Uh, well, they can find me here on her origin story. Um, I am mostly on LinkedIn. My name Toby Myles. Um, I have a community called Her Story Authority, uh, for.
Um, successful women, entrepreneurs, leaders, authors, speakers, to come inside and be around other women and learn how to tell your story. Learn how to go into your life archive of stories and bring those to light so that you can connect with your audience. And I would love for people to come in there and check it out.
Um. My course Core Eight Story Hub is really the, the course, the framework that we use to kind of excavate those stories. So, um, that is where I am. I'm also writing a book and working on a keynote speech, so those things are coming this year. Yay. Um, so it's gonna be a busy year, but mostly just listen to the podcast.
Kristi Mitchell: Yes. I love it. Well, I did. I wanted to give you the chance to talk about your program because I have been in it, I know the impact of it. And even, even as a marketer myself and someone who enjoys writing, um, especially my own content, um, I don't do writing for my clients. I only do it for myself. Mm-hmm.
Toby Myles: But
Kristi Mitchell: I learned so much through your frameworks and through your process, and I absolutely love your community and the support that it provides, those of us to kind of just get that. It's so interesting. I think we can very often forget how many stories we actually have. Yes. And so that was a big realization for me.
I am, I, and I think I told you this at the beginning when I joined, it's like I'm pretty good at like the everyday like, Hey, this happened with my dogs or my kid, or whatever. Mm-hmm. And I like relayed it back to marketing somehow. It's really that like digging in the archives that I like don't think to do.
And even that story I shared with you, my uncle telling his story
Toby Myles: exactly,
Kristi Mitchell: story of the campfire, like there's gotta be something there. So I think it's,
Toby Myles: yeah,
Kristi Mitchell: what you're doing for people in terms of helping to pull those stories out and giving very concrete frameworks to use to tell them in a compelling way that helps us connect with our audience is it's huge.
I absolutely love this direction that you've. Taken in your business and storytelling. 'cause it does to me. It feels like it's what you're meant to do.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah, it definitely does. So, and thank you for articulating how it's helped you. Um. Because that is, you know, for the women in the community, they forget like, oh, I could share a time when I struggled.
Or, oh, I can share about my process, or I can share a milestone. You know, I can share my origin story. All those things that are not just the everyday moments. And we spend a lot of time on the everyday moments too, like learning to spot those and document them so that you don't lose that, lose that moment.
So all those things, those are all, um. Great benefits of being inside the community. So
Kristi Mitchell: yes.
Toby Myles: Yes.
Kristi Mitchell: Awesome. Alright, I'm glad we could give you a little commercial here at the end.
Toby Myles: Yes, thank you. So, um, I, I know like I typically wrap things up and so I'm gonna wrap things up and just say yes. Um, thank you so much for doing this.
Uh, I couldn't have thought, um, of anyone else. I probably wouldn't have done it, you know, if I didn't trust you to ask me the questions. Um, even though I know that you knew, you know, a fair amount of my story. But, um, I appreciate you doing this with me.
Kristi Mitchell: Of course, I would never turn down this opportunity, so thank you so much for thinking with me.
Thank you.