Teresa Thomas shares her journey from shy connector to founder of Women In Networking and creator of 50 Fun Things, showing how curiosity, belonging, and joy can transform the way we build relationships.
Check Out These Highlights:
Teresa Thomas has spent her life weaving connections that matter. From organizing arts celebrations in college to leading Women In Networking for over 20 years, her story is rooted in creating spaces where people feel valued and belong. In this episode, she shares how curiosity can replace transactional networking, why having a role or purpose makes connecting easier, and how her project 50 Fun Things grew from a birthday idea into a global movement.
We dive into the lessons she’s learned about intentional connection, the ripple effects of empowering others to network in ways that fit them, and how joy isn’t frivolous, it’s fuel for resilience and fulfillment. Teresa’s journey is a reminder that meaningful connection starts with curiosity and that fun can be a powerful strategy for life and work.
About Teresa Thomas:
Teresa Thomas is a connector, facilitator, and author who helps people create meaningful networks and joyful lives. As the longtime leader of Women In Networking and founder of 50 Fun Things, she’s known for transforming how people approach connection with curiosity, intention, and joy.
Connect with Teresa:
🌐 Website: https://winwinconnects.com/
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/superconnector/
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About Me: https://tobymyles.com/about/
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My guest today is Teresa Thomas, a connector, facilitator, and creator of the Win Win Networking approach and the 50 Fun Things Experience. What started as a shy kid organizing neighborhood pet fairs eventually evolved into a life and career centered around helping people feel seen, valued, and connected. In this conversation, we talk about belonging, meaningful networking, joy, curiosity, and the ripple effects that happen when people gather with intention. We also talk about Teresa's unforgettable Funreal celebration, a living celebration of life that perfectly captures her belief that connection, joy, and appreciation shouldn't wait until it's too late
Toby Myles: Hey, Theresa. Welcome to the podcast.
Teresa Thomas: Toby, I'm so happy to be here with you.
Toby Myles: I know. I'm so excited to have you here. We've known each other for quite a few years now at this point, um, and it's kind of a funny, s- interesting story I feel like. Um, maybe the word is serendipity. Um, I don't know. Maybe you would describe it another way.
So, um, I think you're much better at telling this story than I am. So, um, before we dive into your origin story, share how we know each other.
Teresa Thomas: Okay. Well, I love this story because to me it shows how interconnected we are, not just throughout the US, but globally. And so I had, um, been contacted by Amy Loken, who I've known for a very long time, maybe 15 years.
Mm-hmm. And she said, "Oh, you need to know, um, this woman in New Hampshire." So Amy's in Wisconsin. I'm in the Twin Cities, Minnesota. And she said, uh, "There's this podcast by Stephanie McLoughlin, and you would be a great fit." So she connected us, and I thought, "Well, before I get interviewed, I want to listen to some of the podcast interviews that Stephanie's done."
Mm-hmm. And I was really drawn to the, the interview that Stephanie had done with you, Toby. And I was like, "Oh, this woman. I just really resonate with your story." And, and I reached out, and I, I asked if you'd be willing to meet, and it was more so connecting about the personal story. Mm-hmm. And we hit it off.
Oh, and when we were talking, I happened to be in California, so that just adds more to the global. And we really hit it off, and then you expressed interest in the way that I approach networking, and then you became trained with Win Win Networking as a facilitator. Mm-hmm. And then I, uh... it turned out that you and I also have strong connections to Jen Corcoran in the UK, who is a LinkedIn expert.
Yep. And Kelly Verchota, who is a membership expert who is in Northern Minnesota. And so I was like, "Oh my gosh. The thread just went all-" Yes. And, and, and, and like you said, the- ... the serendipity because the day before I met Kelly at one of our in-person events, she drove three hours to come to it, you had posted a testimonial about Kelly.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: I'm like, "Wait. Verchota, that's a, that's a r- unique name. I'm pretty sure she's coming to our event tomorrow." I'm like-
Toby Myles: Yeah, I know.
Teresa Thomas: It's crazy. It's crazy. And then the w- cool thing is I'm sure there are even more connections that we have- I
Toby Myles: think so ... that- Yeah, yeah. I think so. I think, like, were you the one that introduced me to Courtney?
Teresa Thomas: Yes.
Toby Myles: Yes. And Courtney's been on the show, um, Kelly's been on the show, and talk about, like, timing, Amy is coming on the show also this week.
Teresa Thomas: Oh, that's great.
Toby Myles: So, I know. It's just, it just goes on. I am... We're both on LinkedIn quite a, quite a bit, and I'll see somebody that I know comment on somebody else's post on LinkedIn as if they- Yeah
know this person pretty well, and I'm like, and I start thinking like, "How do you guys know each other?" Like, you're from different worlds, and I know both of you, and how is this even possible? And so to your point, like, we're so much more connected than we know, and, like, that's one of the benefits or beauties, I would say, of, um, social media as a way to connect people, right?
Like, there's a lot of things I think we could say are, like, negatives about it. Um, but to me, that is one of the best things about it, is that it just makes our world such a smaller place, and we get to meet people that i- you know, 20 years ago we never would have met, right?
Teresa Thomas: Exactly. Yeah, you and I wouldn't have met- No
unless one of us was traveling and happened to meet the other person. So- Yeah ... yeah, I love that.
Toby Myles: Yeah. I love that too, and I... When you were talking about that, I forgot about Stephanie's podcast. Oh my gosh. Such a great podcast. So okay, um, so that's how we know each other, um, and we've stayed connected all these years, and, you know, as things go, we kind of, you know, some- Y- you're, you take a break from being online, I take a break from being- Yeah
online, but then I get back on, I'm like, "Wonder what Theresa is up to?" So we reconnected recently, and I'm so glad that we did because I knew that right away I wanted to have you come on the podcast and talk about your origin story. So I would love for you to take us back to, um, like, one moment in time, or maybe it's, like, a group of moments in time that you feel like really influenced and kind of put you on the path that you're on today.
Teresa Thomas: It's interesting because when I look back on my life- It's easy for me to look at everything as different segments, but there's a really strong common thread throughout everything. And for me, that common thread is about creating meaningful connection and having people feel valued and that they belong, and that people can help each other out to have the lives they want.
So I look back and even when I was really, really young, the things that at the time I saw as weak were actually my strengths.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: And so going back to college and I, uh, for my senior project, I really felt that there wasn't a strong sense of community, and so I asked for my senior project instead to do a show, 'cause I was more of a generalist.
I was interested in how create, people create, why they create, what connects people through creating, and, um, how we express ourselves and all of that. And so I asked if I could organize an arts information celebration and asked professors to demonstrate their work and talk about why they chose the art form that they did.
I asked the graduate students to demonstrate their work and connect with the undergrads, and I invited local arts organizations to table and to share, uh, their opportunities for volunteering or interning. And at the time, I felt like, oh, everybody else is having a show about their lithography or their painting, and for me, I was really curating people and connections and opportunities And at the time I didn't realize that that's, that's how I'm an artist.
That's how I'm a curator. I- Yeah ... I want to know a little bit about a lot, and then bring it together so really good things can happen. And so yeah, when you, when you were asking about origin, I'm like, "Oh, wow, it goes way back." And, and I think, you know, even being somebody who grew up shy and reserved, when I had those meaningful connections with friends- Mm-hmm
I was fully myself.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: It was when I didn't know if I belonged that I ... So evidently belonging and creating that sense of people are valuable and that they belong is really important to me and been a thread through all the ways that I've connected.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I remember when I was getting, uh, certified to run a, um, networking group here, and that was a big piece of why I reached out with interest is because, um, you know, I've always felt like I'm kind of like on the outside.
I don't do well walking into, like, a typical networking situation. I've done them. I have never liked them Because I just, it, I just always feel so awkward. Um, conversation just always would feel so stiff and just uncomfortable, uncomfortable. And it was like I would go 'cause it's like I'd tell myself, "This is good for you.
This is good for business. This is what you have to do. This is part of it. You just gotta suck it up and go," and I hated it. There were many times when I would sit in the parking lot all dressed, and makeup on, and everything, and then just drive home and never even go in. Um, and when I was talking to you, you talked about how, um, it can be different when you start something yourself, um, because- Mm-hmm
you're, um, now you're creating the thing that you want, and having that facilitator role takes away some of that awkwardness. And so I'm wondering, I mean, it sounds like that was kind of the same for you.
Teresa Thomas: Yeah, absolutely. I love having a role, and part of having a role is being really intentional. When you have a role, you know why you're there, what you're supposed to be doing, what you're talking to people about, and you can carry that with you even when you're not the facilitator, is every time you're thinking about going to something where you might be networking, just remind yourself, "Why am I going?"
Mm-hmm. "What do I wanna make sure I share? What types of connections am I looking to make?" And not to, you know, be scripted, but just to have some guidance as to... that takes away that sense of awkwardness or dread. Um, I'm like you. Like, small talk, I, I... It's okay. I know how to do it, but I would rather find out, like, why did somebody come to this event?
Who do they know? What are they hoping to learn? Have they met anyone interesting at it? I love those kinds of conversations because we're connecting on more of a human level and, and I don't know about... Well, I know, I do know about you, uh, that typical events where networking happens can feel really transactional.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: And very much like talking at each other. Yes. And that, uh, that doesn't work for me. My, my favorite colleagues, collaborators, clients are all people that we have a sense of connection where we, we get each other at some level. Mm-hmm. And so the intentional connecting and then seeing if it's a fit is, is what really I get excited about versus- Yeah
how many people can I meet in this room?
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Teresa Thomas: That drains me.
Toby Myles: Yeah, same here. And I do think that it's that, um, piece of like that transactional piece I think that has kind of given networking sort of a bad name for some people, not everybody. I know that for a lot of people, it's... They love it. It's perfectly natural for them.
But I think for other people who, who that just doesn't work for them, they just kind of decide, "I'm just, networking is just not for me. I've never found a way to do it that feels comfortable." And I think, like, the thing that you talked about really is, like, at least for me or how I would view it, is, like, being curious about another person.
Yeah. Not going into it with, like, "What, uh, what is this person gonna do for me?" It's just more curiosity. Tell me about you. What are you doing here? What, what is... You know, tell me about your business or, you know, all those things. And then so many more opportunities come out of it because it's, it's beyond just, you know, "I want you to hire me," right?
Like, it's just... So, like, if that's all you're doing, you're missing so many more opportunities for connection and collaboration.
Teresa Thomas: Yes. I love that you use that word curiosity. That's a... For anyone listening, uh, that's a great word to stick with you when you're thinking about meeting new people and your nerves kick in.
Uh, turn on the curiosity part of you- Mm-hmm ... and your connections will flow much more easily. And, and when you're curious, you're genuinely interested, and then you're more present and all those things that people get worried about in networking-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Teresa Thomas: flow more naturally because you're having a conversation.
You're not trying to sell something to somebody you don't even know yet. You don't even know- Exactly ... yet. So it's, uh, it's- That's a w- a much more exciting and, and also gentle way of looking at connecting-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Teresa Thomas: with people.
Toby Myles: Yeah. I think, and it puts people at ease. Um, curiosity is... It's funny, because I've said this many times to people, um, and many times on this podcast, that I am, uh, naturally nosy, which is, like, cur- curious is, like, more of a polite way of saying it.
But I'm- ... I'm naturally nosy. Like, I, uh, I just wanna know. That is why this podcast exists, because I am nosy. I wanna know how did you get here, what are the things? Like, tell me all the things. And, you know, for the longest time I was sort of, like, embarrassed by that. But then I realized, like, no, like, t- by me being nosy and naturally nosy, all these other people get to experience this- Yeah
podcast, right? And so I, I'm no, I'm no longer ashamed about it. Uh, okay, I'll call it curious, if that sounds better, but Um, so but I guess I didn't realize that it's almost like you had that, um, connecting people gene in you for, like, probably even before you did your senior project in college, right? But I don't think- Yeah
I even realized it went back that far, which is interesting to me. So, like, um, what were you like as a little kid? Like, did you ever do anything, like, in the neighborhood where you, like, brought people together?
Teresa Thomas: Y- yes. So I, I was really shy and reserved, but I loved doing, like, putting together a little pet fair, and everybody in the neighborhood bring your pet.
Toby Myles: Oh,
Teresa Thomas: I love it. You know? That ex- things like that I- Mm-hmm ... loved. Mm-hmm. And so that was another clue, like, oh, okay, that I, I like bringing people together with a purpose. Mm-hmm. It's kind of fun. And, and I mean, when I was a kid, I had no idea that, you know, what was driving me. But it's- Yeah ... just interesting when I look back, I'm like, oh, wow, I was confident in those types of situations.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: Yeah. And-
Toby Myles: Well, it goes to what you were talking about. You had a purpose, right? I had a purpose. So you were-
Teresa Thomas: I had a role, yeah.
Toby Myles: Yeah, yeah. A role, exactly. I, I love that. It's like sometimes I think until we really start, like, kinda pulling on some of these threads, we don't realize, like, oh my God, like, that is something I've done my entire life.
And-
Teresa Thomas: Oh, yes ...
Toby Myles: right?
Teresa Thomas: I just remembered too, I used to love being in the basement. We had this huge chalkboard, and I would play teacher, and just, you know, kids from the neighborhood come and I'd have worksheets. I loved that. And, uh, it, it's... Oh, all these memories are coming back that it's really funny. 'Cause you think that these things happen once you hit adulthood, and like, no, no, there's a whole thread that goes all the way back.
Yeah. And that really, um- That sense of, of belonging. I mean, if I look back at those types of things, like, I feel like my students in elementary school felt like they were appreciated and-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: Mm-hmm ... I think they got smiley faces on their work
Toby Myles: sheet. Oh my gosh, so funny. So I wanna talk a little bit about, we touched on it a little bit about WIN, um, because you have been a part of that organization for Over 20 years, right?
Is that right? I think,
Teresa Thomas: yeah, I think it... Yes, it is. Over 20
Toby Myles: years.
Teresa Thomas: Yeah.
Toby Myles: So talk about that a little bit and how you got involved in WIN, and what WIN actually even stands for.
Teresa Thomas: Oh, yeah. So WIN stands for Women In Networking, and the, the way that started was also serendipity. I had, um, I had been working at the University of Minnesota connecting students with learning opportunities, um, with social justice and internships and field experience.
And so I was a connector then, and, uh, I started doing these workshops. I had... My business was called Purple Crown Factory that I started, and it was all about remembering what, why you do what you do, and we would use art materials, and, and participants. It was just something I did for fun, and it started getting word of mouth, and so again, connecting people and getting people real ex- excited about what they do again.
And then someone asked if I would help facilitate networking for some wellness practitioners, and then the Minnesota Women's Press asked if I would facilitate networking for their advertisers so their advertisers felt more connected to the paper and each other. And I wasn't planning to go down that route.
It's just other people saw that I'm a connector, and I create those environments where that happens. Mm-hmm. And then, uh, and then the former director of Women in Networking asked me to present on networking, and I did. And then the following year, she asked me to come back and, and present a different aspect of networking, and I had different networking stations so people could play with different ways of connecting.
Mm-hmm.
Toby Myles: And
Teresa Thomas: it went over really well, and one of the attendees afterwards, she said, "Oh, my, you are gonna be so good at this." And I thought, "Is that a backhanded compliment that I'm not quite there yet?"
Toby Myles: Oh, going to be so
Teresa Thomas: good at this. Yeah. Yeah, and, uh, and then the director at the time overheard Stephanie, and, and Jen said, "Oh, you would be so good at this."
I'm like, "Okay, what, what are you talking about?" "Oh, Stephanie thinks you're the new director." Like, "What?" And she said, "Yeah, I w- I'm ready to pass the baton. I would like somebody else to lead this group, and, and you are all about connecting." And so she's like, "It's a few hours a month," and- ... and so I was like, "Yeah, I can do that."
And, and then it all of a sudden it just started to grow- Mm-hmm ... faster than I could really keep up.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: And, um, and I learned a lot from that. And then of course, you know, COVID hit and changed the, uh, away from a membership model and just like, "Let's just do good connection events." And for that time we did them online.
And, and then I started training you and a couple other people in the win-win networking method so that they could use it in their lives and their communities. And, and I'd love to do more of that. I, I kinda set that a- aside for a little bit, but, um, I love... I'm really, uh Motivated by making a difference through connection.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: And I feel like when other people get the tools and recognize that there are different ways to network and connect, that that's a, a small way that I can have an impact.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: Um, and, and it, and it is more inclusive. Like, I get a lot of introverts and ambiverts, and people that normally would not at all enjoy networking come and learn how to network in ways that work for them, that they can take anywhere-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm
Teresa Thomas: with them to have a better experience. So, so yeah. Yeah. So that's the, that's the story of WIN. And, and, uh, Nia Claire, locally Twin Cities, she's been facilitating a networking event in, um, Edina, Minnesota once a month for women, and it's so fun to see what she's doing with that. So.
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Teresa Thomas: Yeah.
Toby Myles: Yeah. It's, it's like you have this ripple effect, right?
Yeah. And, and I just think, like, your approach to it and your attitude about it, I think, definitely is, um, uh, contagious, right? Like, people look at networking in a very different way. And, you know, maybe, maybe you can come up with some other name for it that is not, you know, that ha- doesn't have people automatically thinking like, "Ugh, I've been to networking events.
It's not for me," right? Right. Because the way in which you approach it, in giving people the tools to do things in different ways, there are many different ways, right, to create these connections, not just one way. Not just going and, you know, sitting at a breakfast and handing out your business card, and having your five seconds to say who you are over- Mm-hmm
you know, a plate of lousy eggs and greasy bacon. I can't tell you how many times I've been to that. Although, I will say that there's somebody that I know, I'm still in contact with today, that I met at one of those breakfasts. We just happened to be sitting next to each other. She was a website designer at the time.
And, um, we did work together a couple times over the years. We haven't in many, many years, but we're still in touch with each other. And I would say that was probably, oof, 20, more than 20 years ago.
Teresa Thomas: Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, so yeah, the experience of the event itself wasn't great- Mm-hmm ... but you found somebody where- You connected in-
Toby Myles: Yeah
Teresa Thomas: in a more meaningful way and, and then look, 20 years later you're still-
Toby Myles: Yeah ... have
Teresa Thomas: that connection.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Well, me being me and being curious- ... I, if, you know, if, if somebody's willing to answer my questions, I'm gonna like stick with that person, g- keep asking them and, you know, it's, it partially to, you know, my comfort level, right?
If I- Yes ... can put the focus on someone else, that feels more comfortable to me. So, um, so but, so WIN is really not the only thing that you do, and it's not the only way that you bring people together. You're somebody who I have always admired, like witnessing you have an idea for something and just do it.
Like, just do it, right? And so- ... um, the 50 Fun Things is the first thing that I can think of. And I remember, I think around the time that you and I first met, um, you were kinda in the early stages of that. So can you talk about 50 Fun Things?
Teresa Thomas: Yeah. So 50 Fun Things is also about connecting people in meaningful ways.
Um, but it's focused really on joy and life fulfillment and expanding your comfort zone and trying new things and prioritizing what matters for you. And it all started out, I thought it was just for myself as I was about to turn 50. And again, going back to Teacher Theresa, I decided I'm gonna have worksheets at my birthday party and-
Toby Myles: Uh- It's your birthday party, do whatever you want ...
Teresa Thomas: exactly. So I had a little chart where I put 50 things I wanted to experience in the coming year, and, and the 50th thing was the, the party itself. And, and every single person filled it out, and it changed my life. I had all kinds of wonderful things to look forward to.
I learned a lot about my friends, I learned a lot about myself. I put little things, big things, things that I thought would never happen, and every single thing on my chart happened within that year. And f- Wow ... it was actually funny, the, the day of my birthday, I was at the Renaissance Festival, and the person I was with said, "So, the 50 fun things chart, did you get through everything this year?"
And I said, "Well, the only thing I didn't get to do was a drum jam." And he said, "Oh, well, didn't you know the Renaissance Festival always closes with a drum jam?"
Toby Myles: What? Like,
Teresa Thomas: I didn't have a drum, but I was drumming on my- ... you know, my body. You know, like, "Oh, I can't believe it." And so, you know, it's not about, like, magic.
It's more about g- coming back to intention. And when I found out there was a drum jam, I'm like, "Well, then I'm gonna be there 'cause I said- Mm-hmm ... I wanted that, so I will stay till the end. Mm-hmm. And so a lot of clarity, a lot of, um- Even hope and resilience. I learned so much about joy that, that it's not this frivolous thing that you do when you have time.
Mm-hmm. It's something to integrate in your life that even helps you through those challenging times to see what is working well, what do I care about, what do I wanna prioritize? And it helps even to say no to things because you've bec- become more clear about how you want your life to be and the types of people that you really want to spend time with.
And so that was a, a, a gift to me. Like, I was not planning on 50 Fun Things becoming something, but when people saw what was happening in my own life, they asked if I would write about it or do a workshop or presentation and, and now I've even been doing it for large groups. And, um, even the state auditors of Minnesota had me do this, and-
Toby Myles: Wow
the
Teresa Thomas: Federal Reserve and, like, places that you wouldn't think would, um, be aligned with 50 Fun Things. But really, what it really comes down to is we are in challenging times, and when we can identify what brings us joy and communicate about it-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Teresa Thomas: we connect on a more human level, and we feel like we, we feel more of that sense of belonging.
And it doesn't mean, like, oh, everybody's gonna get along now and be wonderful. It's you see the humanity in each other, and you see when some- what somebody cares about, and you identify what you care about. You see more of that commonality that, uh... And even if you don't have the same interests, you understand what makes that person tick and- Mm-hmm
and what makes them them. And, and so that was the reason that they both, that those, um, I mean, other groups as, as well, but it was just interesting they were both financial institutions that are very much about, you know, being responsible with your, your finances and-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Teresa Thomas: and, and that they saw that joy and connection do affect everything.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: And, and that they wanted their, their staff to feel part of the whole.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm. And
Teresa Thomas: to know why they mattered and-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Teresa Thomas: to have some fun together. Yeah. So yeah. Um, and it, and 50 Fun Things, it's also, uh, brought me around the world, and I've gotten to facilitate it in beautiful places. And, um, it's just- It all comes back to intention, right?
So you set- Mm-hmm ... your intentions, and even if it's just small and about how you want to feel, everything becomes more, more clear.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah. That's funny when you were talking about that, um, that financial institution. Like in my brain, um, the first thing I thought was, "Oh, yes, those people need to have some fun."
For sure. Um, somebody... I heard this, it may have been on an episode of Mel Robbins' podcast. One of her guests, who, I apologize, Mel, if you're listening, I'm sure you're not, but if you are- ... listen to my podcast. Somebody on her show talked about, um, living a lifetime in a day, and the gist of it was, like, you don't save fun things for-
Teresa Thomas: Right
Toby Myles: the weekend or for a vacation, right? Like, you do the things that you enjoy every single day. Sitting down and reading a book, you know, working on an art project, going for a walk in nature. Like, whatever it is that you love, like, don't save it for-
Teresa Thomas: Yeah ...
Toby Myles: the weekend or next week or, you know, next year, whatever.
Like, no, you can have... You can do those things every single day, even if they're just small things.
Teresa Thomas: Yeah. Oh, yeah, and when I first started it, I thought, "Oh, 50, I could f- I could possibly enjoy 50 fun things in a year." And now I'm like, "Are you crazy? Like, you can experience 50 fun things in a week." Yeah. And it's really about what you're paying attention to.
Like, oh- Mm-hmm ... I really love this meal that I made, and it's colorful- Mm-hmm ... and nutritious. And, oh, I love how the birds are singing this morning. Like, it's the little things, too. It doesn't- Yeah ... have to be all these big things, but by, by opening your radar to what lights you up and brings you joy, it just really enriches your- Yeah
day-to-day life and-
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think, too, that there is, like, that, um, when you talk about awareness, like, slowing down long enough to realize, like, some of those small things actually really bring you joy. Like, one of my favorite things in my whole entire life is when I have my coffee in the morning on the sofa with my husband sitting next to me.
You know, I just cherish that, and I get, like, kind of cranky if I have to miss that window- Yeah ... for whatever reason, right? And so to me, that's, like, high on my list, you know? So it doesn't necessarily have to be... Like, one of my fun things would be, you know, a, a trip to the beach or something. Which that would be one of my fun things, but, like, smaller things, too, are also-
Teresa Thomas: Yeah
Toby Myles: things that bring you, bring me
Teresa Thomas: joy. And that you recognize that it brings you joy, that it's important, that you prioritize- Mm-hmm ... so that you don't get in that mode that a lot of us get into, like, "Oh, I should be doing this, I should be doing that."
Toby Myles: Yeah.
Teresa Thomas: You know? And it's like, no, this is the best way for me to start my day, and- Mm-hmm
and y- you appreciate it. And you're present then, too, because you're not-
Toby Myles: Yeah ...
Teresa Thomas: thinking about what's next, what's next. Like, this is what I love, and-
Toby Myles: Yeah. Yeah. For sure, because when I started my business, it's seven... It's been seven years now, which is crazy to me, and had worked in, uh, direct response marketing for 15 years, and I was on, like- a s- a normal schedule like most people.
A lot of that time I worked remotely, even before COVID. Um, but you know, I was still on basically 9:00 to 5:00 or, like, 7:00 to 4:00 or whatever. Um, and so when I left to start my business, I felt, like, super anxious, like, taking that time in the morning to, like, just relax and start my day in the way that I wanted to, and sometimes not, like, turning on my laptop till, like, 9:30 or 10:00.
I'm like, "What is wrong with me?" But here I am now, seven years later. My business is, you know, successful. My clients are happy, and so it's, it's fine. Like, it's okay. People are, are getting what they need, you know? And I'm still a- building a life and a business that works for me- Yeah ... that makes me feel good.
So, um, I think that idea of, like, prioritizing those things, especially for, um, entrepreneurs and solopreneurs who maybe might feel that sort of like, "Ooh, I need to have some, like, structure and some guardrails," you know? Which is true, probably you do, but also, like, finding time to sprinkle in these things that bring you joy is, is equally as important, I think.
Teresa Thomas: Yeah. And to, and to really notice what works for you, what type of- Mm-hmm ... schedule works for you, um, what type of networking works for you, that we don't have to all be approaching things the same way. And yes, if you work in a corporate environment, there are expectations of when you start and where you are and those types of things, but there are micro decisions that you can make- Mm-hmm
about how you show up, how you interact, um, w- how you speak up, all of those things, we have choices that we can make- Yeah ... affect the quality of our, of our day.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Exactly. So, um, I want you to tell me, 'cause we talked about this the last time you and I were on a call, um, about something that you did recently-
and I'm probably gonna say it wrong.
Teresa Thomas: That's like, that's so weird with, that's so weird.
Toby Myles: Y- you know where, you know where I'm going with this. Yes. Yes. So- I'll just... Funereal or funereal? You got
Teresa Thomas: it. You got
Toby Myles: it. Funereal.
Teresa Thomas: Funereal.
Toby Myles: Yeah. Funereal. That's how, that's how I read it. But I wasn't sure, so w- I, we need to talk about it, 'cause when you were first telling me about it, I was like, "Oh, that's kinda interesting."
And then the more you talked about it, I was like- ... wow, this is, like, super cool. And this is in line with you and how you operate in the world, and also how you just have an idea and you just go for it, which is one of the things I love the most about you. So-
Teresa Thomas: Yes ...
Toby Myles: tell us about it.
Teresa Thomas: Well, Toby, I don't know if you know about this, in Minnesota, if something's interesting, it's weird.
So I will claim, yes, it's interesting- ... and I'm a little weird. But- ... we, we need that, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We need some weirdness. And- Weird is
Toby Myles: good. I love weird ...
Teresa Thomas: weird is good. And so I had been, um, talking with my, my partner about, um, end of life and, and he was saying, "Oh, I wish I could go to my own mo- memorial service."
And I'm like, "I know. Wouldn't that be wonderful?" And it sounds really morbid and strange, but it was just like- Yeah. ... like everybody that we really care about and- Mm-hmm ... and, and so it stuck with me. And in the middle of the night, I woke up and funereal was on my mind. I just like, I woke up like, funereal.
For my birthday, I'm having a funereal. It's like a funeral, but it's really fun.
I asked a couple of friends, like, "Hey, I'm thinking about having a fun real..." One friend o- offered to use his house for the, um, what do you call it? The funeral home. Mm-hmm. And we organized the furniture and everything, and then another friend volunteered to be the officiant. And then, you know, in ... With funerals, they're always unexpected, at a weird time, and so, okay, my birthday is on a Tuesday, it's gonna be on a Tuesday.
It's gonna be l- uh, late afternoon, noon and early evening. If you can make it and you wanna be one of the church ladies, you know, help set up. And so we had wake and cake. We had, um, I had a, a book when people came in, the celebration of life book, and people wrote in things that they remembered about or that, that, um, really stood out about memories with me.
And, and I did put a 50 fun things chart up, a blank one, and I had Post-Its, and I said, "Please put something you want to experience with me on the chart before you leave." Mm-hmm. And so they filled out the chart. And it was, oh, it was delightful. Um, my ... The way it happened was when people were coming in for the review, I guess you'd call it, uh, I would talk with people and, and, and, and then when it was time to start, we, um, d- played, um, Let's Go Crazy by Prince.
You know, dearly beloved. Oh,
Toby Myles: yeah.
Teresa Thomas: We're gathered here to celebrate this thing called life. And so that's, that opened it, and then my friend ... First of all, I, I welcomed everybody and said, um, "I'm gonna be, um, handing this over to Kyra, who will be officiating, and, uh, I'm so glad to have you all here to celebrate life together.
And, um, it's my ... It's time for me to depart you. I will be back with you in spirit." And then I left and I put some teal fabric on me, and I tried to look like I was floating. And I sat in a chair that had the teal fabric over it behind the podium where people would come up.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: And every single person except for three people that were, like, partners with somebody or, you know, like, the
But everybody who knew me really well all got up and said something. And because I was sitting behind them in spirit, I had to resist the urge to hug or to say anything. I just had to- Yeah ... take everything in. And it was funny and sweet and sentimental, and it was, it was wonderful. And I have to- I'm, I have to apologize 'cause I love puns, but I literally slept like the dead.
Toby Myles: And
Teresa Thomas: I've been resting in peace that my life has had meaning and, and impact. Yeah. And that, um, it, it was a really wonderful experience. And then I happened to be, um ... So a few people then said, "Oh, we want a funereal." You know, so at some point there will be others who will have funereals. Mm-hmm. And I was, uh, telling my colleague Sherry about this.
We were catching up, and she said, "You know, we wouldn't call it a funereal, but what you did is exactly what my friends and I need for, um, to celebrate the life of a friend that we've known for 30-some years, um-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Teresa Thomas: who's died, and we're all going to Scottsdale, Arizona to celebrate her life. But really if you would come and facilitate so that we, we have that, that structure and that, the space for sharing those meaningful stories."
Mm-hmm. And it was a very different side of me, and I absolutely loved it, but it was, it was. It was all about just creating an environment ... Oh, and we did set up a chair for the f- their friend who had passed.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: So welcomed, included her in that circle, and it was absolutely beautiful and, and appreciated.
And it made me realize that I guess I'm helping to create meaningful connection and conversations all throughout life and even beyond, which I would have never imagined. But really- Mm-hmm ... we all want to know that we're part of each other's stories, that we live on through people's memories. And this was a way of really honoring that and pulling those stories together and, and they left feeling like they even knew their friend even more because- Mm-hmm
of the stories that were shared. And it was such an honor to, to be invited to do that. And, um- And it, it's something that, that I wish more officiants would do is to really get to know the, the people who are grieving- Mm-hmm ... and, and how they knew that person- Mm-hmm ... and that they can bring that out because it, um, it was, it was healing and it was joyful and it was connect- It really...
I feel like if their friend had, had been there and, and if she, uh, had been in spirit that she would feel so much joy and love from her friends.
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm.
Teresa Thomas: And so yeah, it was a very hopeful, beautiful- Mm ... thing. So yeah. So- That
Toby Myles: was fascinating ... we didn't call it Fun-deral
Teresa Thomas: though, 'cause you know,
Toby Myles: we- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But
Teresa Thomas: I- We'll save that for...
Toby Myles: But I do think, like, it does kind of raise the question of, like... 'Cause you did yours and you're very much here- Yes ... still on this earth.
Teresa Thomas: Yes. And no,
Toby Myles: no-
Teresa Thomas: And- ... no worries. I'm all
Toby Myles: good. Yeah, yeah. Um, and, and contrasting that with someone who had passed and I think, like- Like, why don't we find a way to tell each other more?
Yeah. What somebody means to us. Like, we think it and we know it, but, you know, why don't we? Not, maybe not, you know, in the way that you did, which also is super cool and fun, but, you know, just on a day to day, like, why don't we reach out to more people and, you know, say, "You know, I just wanted to let you know I always appreciate you for," whatever, "checking in on me," or whatever.
You know, whatever it is. I remember, um, when my dad's sister passed away, um, and, uh, she lived out in Utah and we were, we're on the East Coast. And her house was, she was a little bit of a hoarder, um, which is honest. I mean, I feel bad saying that, but, uh, we all, everybody knew it. She was a little bit of a hoarder.
And so we, my family kinda went in shifts out to Utah to her home to take turns kinda cleaning things out and putting stuff in a dumpster and getting things ready to sell. And it was the strangest thing. She had in her, um, kitchen cupboard, she probably had about, oh my gosh, uh, uh, not exaggerating, like 30 bags of chocolate chips.
And it was just the strangest thing. It was almost as if, you know, every time they were on sale, she bought more chocolate chips. And so what we decided to do was once the house was clean, we were ready to put it on the market, we invited all of her friends locally, you know, out in Utah, and we, um, gave them, before they came to the celebration of life, we gave them each a bag of chocolate chips and asked them to make something- Oh
and bring it, and bring it to the party. Yeah. And because we thought, well, she's ma- getting ready to, m- maybe my aunt was thinking she was gonna bake a bunch of chocolate chip cookies or whatever. We didn't know because- Yeah ... she, we couldn't ask her. But we thought that was a way of honoring her and just kind of like carrying that, you know, she loved to cook and she loved to give out treats and goodies to her friends, and so it felt like a, just a small way to kind of like honor her, um, spirit in that way.
So, um, so yeah. But I do think it does make me wonder, like, why, why don't we, um, just take the time more to just connect with people in just that really, like, honest and genuine way, and tell people, like, when we appreciate them?
Teresa Thomas: Well, Toby, you already do that. You're a really good role model for that, and with your podcast and the stories you bring out, and every interaction I've had with you, you are really good at recognizing, um, someone's gifts, their skills, what, what you appreciate about them.
And so we can all do that. Yeah. And, and, and you are doing it, but it's again, it's that intention, like, "Oh, yeah, I could-" Mm-hmm ... I could tell this person that I haven't told or that I've, you know, maybe especially maybe a family member that you don't think about sharing those kinds of things. But really, it- it's, it's, um, why not?
And-
Toby Myles: Mm-hmm ...
Teresa Thomas: and not everybody's able to accept, you know, like- Yes ... positive and praise- Yeah ... but it doesn't mean you don't share it.
Toby Myles: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I agree with that. So, um, so I think that's a perfect place to wrap things up, 'cause, uh, I just love that sentiment, and I hope, um, our listeners will take that to heart and maybe just reach out to one person today.
Yeah. Um, once you listen, and just tell somebody that you, you think they know but you don't know for sure do they know how much you appreciate them and, or recognize somebody for, for their gifts, like you said. So I would love for you to share, um, where can people find you and connect with you?
Teresa Thomas: Uh, well, LinkedIn is a great place.
My handle is actually superconnector. That was before I met Jen, the superconnector. Yes. And, uh, I also, um, my website, winwinconnects.com is the umbrella website for the different things that happen, like Women in Networking and the Win Win Networking book and 50 Fun Things. Those are all in that space, and, um, yeah, thank you for, for asking that.
Toby Myles: Yes, for sure. Well, thank you so much. This has been super fun, and I know this is gonna be a fun, um, episode for people to listen to. So I appreciate, um, you being here. I'm glad we finally found the time to do this. Um, and, um, you are, you're somebody truly special and one of a kind, and I say that in the best way, so.
Teresa Thomas: Not in the Minnesota way. Not
Toby Myles: in the Minnesota way.
Teresa Thomas: No, Minnesotans said that it was all, it's all good. It's
Toby Myles: all good.
Teresa Thomas: Yes, it's all good.
Toby Myles: Thank
Teresa Thomas: you.
Toby Myles: Thank you, Theresa, for being here.
Teresa Thomas: Yes, thank you, Toby.